Sorry. :/
Since I've been stuck here by myself recovering from the flu, I've had a lot of time to think about things. And I realized how much I miss my past. I miss a lot of things.. and a lot of people. I also read through my old yearbooks and forgot how close I was to some people.
-I used to spend almost every day after school with Amanda Ayers because she lived right down the street from me. She wrote a page in my yearbook in tiny writing of mainly just our inside jokes. I used to hang out with her, Cameron Escobar, Art Gonzalez, Jake Montes, Christina Boeyrd, Peter Sullivan, etc. ALL the time. And we had a passbook that was covered in Starburst wrappers and it smelled so good because we had the smelly asian highlighters. :) I have so many memories from freshman year with her.
-I miss spending days at Cameron Escobar's house. Walking everywhere. Swimming. Just being stupid.. and I also miss days at Peter Sullivan's house. Those were the two places I spent most of my time at. I wish I had more places like that now.
-Sutton Arabe, Mallory Concepcion, and Jessica Howell were my circle. We would always hang out on band trips, and I would always go to them if I needed anything and vice versa. We would talk about everything with each other. And we used to sit in the band cave and eat lunch, then moved to the band room, then the tree... where we stayed up until Senior year. I remember on the way to some competition freshman year.. Sutton was conducting, and the rest of us were singing our parts to Heartbeat. <3 And then finally Senior year when Sutton was drum major, I was so proud of him. I miss having stability with a group of friends.
-And I dated Jack Owens for a year and three months. Holy shit! That was half of my high school. It's fucking crazy how I lasted that long with someone. I can barely hold down a relationship for a few weeks now. So many people would comment on our relationship and how I was so lucky and how everything was perfect. Haha. I can't picture that anymore. At all. :P
-I used to be BEST FRIENDS with Sara Westland. We were inseparable. Even though we fought all the time, we were spaztastic besteresterest friends. We had a crazy up and down friendship.. and so much shit went down.. and even though we are friends again now.. it seems as though we were never as close as we once were. I looked at the scrapbook she made me for my 16th birthday.. and it baffled me how close we were. I still love her though. <3
-I also used to be best friends with Lisa Jacques and Lexie Hanmann. Wifeys. I just recently started talking to Lisa again and I feel like I know nothing about her. I feel like when we were super close.. it was all fake or something. I just feel like I was never close to her and I never experienced all the ups and downs with her that I did. With both of them, even. I talk to Lexie every now and again, and we hang out. But I sometimes forget that we used to be best friends. And that we were so dependent on each other and so close. We would talk every day. What happened?
-Tyler Mensick used to be like a big brother to me. Even after he graduated.. but now.. we never speak to each other. I try to talk to him and I try to see him when I can.. but it never works out. He always bails. It really hurts.. but what can I expect? People move on with their lives.
-I miss senior year of high school. I know I say that I hated it a lot.. but I loved it too. Yeah, it was the most dramatic year.. but it was also really exciting. So many things happened that year. I wish I could write a book about it. Just to put everything together and re-live it. I remember driving to school in the morning and having to park way in the back neighborhoods and walking to class. I loved walking by the flowers if they were bloomed. It would always make my day. I think I miss high school all together. I miss the security. College is hard for me.
-I also miss people like Kevin Weiss, Kelly Hammond, Elisa Alpizar, Aly Barker, Justin Brown, Sebastian Torres, Loren Gould, Tommy Caulfield, Shane Stocking, etc. Mainly my Med-Sci babies. They felt like family. I wasn't super close with all of them.. but I still felt like they were some sort of extended family. I hardly talk to any of them anymore.. it really makes me sad. I try.. but it doesn't always work out.
-I also miss times at Adam Shindledecker's house. Playing Rock Band with Jay & Adam Shindledecker, Ty Statzer, Michael Palermo, Jake Bennett, etc. That house was my home away from home away from home. <3 If I wasn't there, I was at Ty's house with everybody. Adam was my best friend down there. He was the greatest. I felt so extremely comfortable around him. But then he moved back to Northern California.. I finally got a hold of him last night. I think I almost cried. I can't wait to see him again. I miss them all so much.
God. Sometimes I love reminiscing, but sometimes I hate it. I know stuff like this happens.. people walk in and out of our lives, and memories are memories for a reason.. But it's interesting to look back sometimes.. and remember what life used to be like. I wish I had more time to really write down how I'm feeling and what I'm missing and certain memories that made my life that much better. I just wish I could go back. I don't know if I would honestly change anything.. but who knows?
Fin.
-I used to spend almost every day after school with Amanda Ayers because she lived right down the street from me. She wrote a page in my yearbook in tiny writing of mainly just our inside jokes. I used to hang out with her, Cameron Escobar, Art Gonzalez, Jake Montes, Christina Boeyrd, Peter Sullivan, etc. ALL the time. And we had a passbook that was covered in Starburst wrappers and it smelled so good because we had the smelly asian highlighters. :) I have so many memories from freshman year with her.
-I miss spending days at Cameron Escobar's house. Walking everywhere. Swimming. Just being stupid.. and I also miss days at Peter Sullivan's house. Those were the two places I spent most of my time at. I wish I had more places like that now.
-Sutton Arabe, Mallory Concepcion, and Jessica Howell were my circle. We would always hang out on band trips, and I would always go to them if I needed anything and vice versa. We would talk about everything with each other. And we used to sit in the band cave and eat lunch, then moved to the band room, then the tree... where we stayed up until Senior year. I remember on the way to some competition freshman year.. Sutton was conducting, and the rest of us were singing our parts to Heartbeat. <3 And then finally Senior year when Sutton was drum major, I was so proud of him. I miss having stability with a group of friends.
-And I dated Jack Owens for a year and three months. Holy shit! That was half of my high school. It's fucking crazy how I lasted that long with someone. I can barely hold down a relationship for a few weeks now. So many people would comment on our relationship and how I was so lucky and how everything was perfect. Haha. I can't picture that anymore. At all. :P
-I used to be BEST FRIENDS with Sara Westland. We were inseparable. Even though we fought all the time, we were spaztastic besteresterest friends. We had a crazy up and down friendship.. and so much shit went down.. and even though we are friends again now.. it seems as though we were never as close as we once were. I looked at the scrapbook she made me for my 16th birthday.. and it baffled me how close we were. I still love her though. <3
-I also used to be best friends with Lisa Jacques and Lexie Hanmann. Wifeys. I just recently started talking to Lisa again and I feel like I know nothing about her. I feel like when we were super close.. it was all fake or something. I just feel like I was never close to her and I never experienced all the ups and downs with her that I did. With both of them, even. I talk to Lexie every now and again, and we hang out. But I sometimes forget that we used to be best friends. And that we were so dependent on each other and so close. We would talk every day. What happened?
-Tyler Mensick used to be like a big brother to me. Even after he graduated.. but now.. we never speak to each other. I try to talk to him and I try to see him when I can.. but it never works out. He always bails. It really hurts.. but what can I expect? People move on with their lives.
-I miss senior year of high school. I know I say that I hated it a lot.. but I loved it too. Yeah, it was the most dramatic year.. but it was also really exciting. So many things happened that year. I wish I could write a book about it. Just to put everything together and re-live it. I remember driving to school in the morning and having to park way in the back neighborhoods and walking to class. I loved walking by the flowers if they were bloomed. It would always make my day. I think I miss high school all together. I miss the security. College is hard for me.
-I also miss people like Kevin Weiss, Kelly Hammond, Elisa Alpizar, Aly Barker, Justin Brown, Sebastian Torres, Loren Gould, Tommy Caulfield, Shane Stocking, etc. Mainly my Med-Sci babies. They felt like family. I wasn't super close with all of them.. but I still felt like they were some sort of extended family. I hardly talk to any of them anymore.. it really makes me sad. I try.. but it doesn't always work out.
-I also miss times at Adam Shindledecker's house. Playing Rock Band with Jay & Adam Shindledecker, Ty Statzer, Michael Palermo, Jake Bennett, etc. That house was my home away from home away from home. <3 If I wasn't there, I was at Ty's house with everybody. Adam was my best friend down there. He was the greatest. I felt so extremely comfortable around him. But then he moved back to Northern California.. I finally got a hold of him last night. I think I almost cried. I can't wait to see him again. I miss them all so much.
God. Sometimes I love reminiscing, but sometimes I hate it. I know stuff like this happens.. people walk in and out of our lives, and memories are memories for a reason.. But it's interesting to look back sometimes.. and remember what life used to be like. I wish I had more time to really write down how I'm feeling and what I'm missing and certain memories that made my life that much better. I just wish I could go back. I don't know if I would honestly change anything.. but who knows?
Fin.