So many phobias...
Fuck. Finals. Awesome that i've been copying physics homework for two months and am completely and utterly screwed. Awesome that my court date (a ticket for doing a God damn u-turn from 28th onto the frontage road) just happens to be during my physics review. Sweet. Awesome that my mom hates me for about 10 zillion reasons & hung up on me today. Truly awesome that i don't intend on calling her back for at least a week....Awesome that Andrea won't commit to an apartment of any kind because she wants a real "nice place" big enough for her stupid dining room table. Awesome that i don't have too many friends these days except the few guys that I've known forever &...ick. Awesome that my apartment reaks of pot even during finals week. Awesome that i hate myself for wanting to smoke it even though i promised myself I'd give it up after talking to Kelsey & feeling awful about my moral integrity a few weeks ago. (Not that I find pot-smoking to be ammoral- I don't- but i evaluated my life as a whole and decided that some cutbacks were necessary)...Awesome that i ate an entire medium pizza by myself last night...awesome that i haven't worked out in 2 weeks, save one crazy run in the rainstorm, and that i weighed myself today & found that I am 5 pounds more than last time. Awesome that i obsess over shit like that- disguisting. It's awesomely sad that in the last year i have read exactly 1 novel...awesome that i spend approximately 2 hours a day talking on AIM- so nerdy, i know. I could be studying. Jesus, i could be smart. Really smart. Instead, i obsess of stupid things, all day long, all time. I'm indecisive, about just about everything in the world. I suck at committing. Weird, cause I sure did hate bill because he sucked at it too. It's sad that everytime i return to livejournal, I rant & it makes me sound like a really sad person. I'm not; I guess I just don't have much to say on the days when i'm happy. Well, this summer should be awesome, at least (truthfully here). No estes, no parents. There's one amazing thing to look forward to~ should be great. Now if only it were next thursday and i could forget this studying shit...