Heart over Head

Mar 17, 2009 23:23

Okay... brutal honesty coming. I want to feel the excitment of love. The pitter patter of the heart, the sweaty palms, the aching cheeks from too much smiling... the intoxicating infatuation. I miss it. But I feel it's hopeless. Cause you see, I'm just so repulsive. I'm repulsive to look at. From the kinda feminist kinda boyish aspect of my hair, to my chubby cheeks, and large unproportionate body... I'm disgusting. But lets not get off topic. This is not a "lets feel bad for Teralyn" party. This is me... Telling the world that I want to have that ignorant, naive, simplistic infatuation. But more specifically, I want someone to feel it back towards me. I always seem to be not quite good enough. They like me, the lead me on, then they change their minds and break my heart. It's a tiring cycle. I want someone to be held by, someone to kiss me on the cheek, someone to wipe the tears from my eyes. I'm tired of not being special to people. I want to be someone's special someone. Is that so much to ask? I mean, maybe it is. Maybe asking someone to fall in love with me back is too much of a demanding request. But honestly, I feel like I at least deserve that.
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