MIND FUCK.
here's to complicating life one stupid move at a time.
Inspiraton comes from the most unexpected places. Yea, we ALL know that. And because I've got nothing better to do on a Friday night than mope in front of the computer and nurse this annoying cold, I resigned myself to sticking my nose into other people's lives. I can't say I'm proud, but hell was I floored.
I've been quiet for the longest time about this. Sure I'd occasionaly interject with nasty remarks to make me feel better, but the fact is that I haven't resolved anything. I feel like a kid constantly beaten up by the class bully; cries, gets over it without any confrontation whatsoever, grows up, but is scarred for life. I've constantly been screening everything I'd say, entries and pictures that I'd post just so the world wouldn't have to see what I had been through, with the hopes of me being able to deal with it intrinsically. BIG HAHA.
then I come across a series of entries..
I've never had the chance to exhaust everything (not even through my own journal, damnit), and seeing what she did made me want to whack my own head.
I can never, ever put myself in that level of vulnerability and I commend you. I went through, and still am going through, exactly the same thing (as to HOW exact is what's annoyingly amusing).
It made me think of how much I still had to say and how doing nothing about it only made things harder.
To hell with political correctness and censorship; might as well just get the shame, anger and frustrations over and done with.
~*~
You know what, we never really did get to finish this properly (and with properly, I mean as mature people not slowly disappearing from each other). I don't know where you are, what you're up to or how you've been doing and I know that's probably how you want the way things to be. I had hoped for things to be different from the first time this had happened, but as it turns out, it pretty much was just like High School all over again. (remember? judging how you are from your pics online, haha - aww cmon, you know it's no secret). I had at least expected, this time, something non-pretentious, but that didn't happen. Its been all too familiar; but you know what, I still can't bring myself to not care at all. I've been advised by soo many people, soo many times, and yet I find that the way I see you won't change. Ugh, you already know these things. I'm done with pretending and hiding and guessing and being all weepy and feeling all shitty. Bahala na si Batman.
Inspiraton comes from the most unexpected places. Yea, we ALL know that. And because I've got nothing better to do on a Friday night than mope in front of the computer and nurse this annoying cold, I resigned myself to sticking my nose into other people's lives. I can't say I'm proud, but hell was I floored.
I've been quiet for the longest time about this. Sure I'd occasionaly interject with nasty remarks to make me feel better, but the fact is that I haven't resolved anything. I feel like a kid constantly beaten up by the class bully; cries, gets over it without any confrontation whatsoever, grows up, but is scarred for life. I've constantly been screening everything I'd say, entries and pictures that I'd post just so the world wouldn't have to see what I had been through, with the hopes of me being able to deal with it intrinsically. BIG HAHA.
then I come across a series of entries..
I've never had the chance to exhaust everything (not even through my own journal, damnit), and seeing what she did made me want to whack my own head.
I can never, ever put myself in that level of vulnerability and I commend you. I went through, and still am going through, exactly the same thing (as to HOW exact is what's annoyingly amusing).
It made me think of how much I still had to say and how doing nothing about it only made things harder.
To hell with political correctness and censorship; might as well just get the shame, anger and frustrations over and done with.
~*~
You know what, we never really did get to finish this properly (and with properly, I mean as mature people not slowly disappearing from each other). I don't know where you are, what you're up to or how you've been doing and I know that's probably how you want the way things to be. I had hoped for things to be different from the first time this had happened, but as it turns out, it pretty much was just like High School all over again. (remember? judging how you are from your pics online, haha - aww cmon, you know it's no secret). I had at least expected, this time, something non-pretentious, but that didn't happen. Its been all too familiar; but you know what, I still can't bring myself to not care at all. I've been advised by soo many people, soo many times, and yet I find that the way I see you won't change. Ugh, you already know these things. I'm done with pretending and hiding and guessing and being all weepy and feeling all shitty. Bahala na si Batman.