Theatrical Muse - Topic 143
Revenge.
He should have killed me, but he knew as well as I did that I was already dead. Before I even said it, before I knew it was the same for him, he should have just gotten it over with.
It was a mistake. Shooting Shannon had been a mistake, I was just trying to protect my people, protect the last few of us that had survived everything else. I wasn't about to get this far... to get that close and have it all come crashing down around me.
So I fired the gun.
I killed Shannon.
I knew that look in his eyes too, because I had seen it before in myself. Still saw it everyonce in a while, catching a glimpse of my reflection in a glass window, or in the stillness of a stream. That look of nothingness. That there's nothing left inside or outside to feel, except that one burning drive to get back at everyone that had wronged you in this life and hell any other one too.
He took it all away from me that day. Took something from me that maybe I didn't even realize I wanted until I had it, and then when it was gone it was everything to me. He took away my life. My job, my family... all of it wasn't even the same anymore. The man I loved couldn't look at me anymore. The mother I trusted, couldn't even be straight with me.
I stood there in the viewing room memorizing his face. Remembering just how he looked when he pulled that trigger and sent me to the ground. I stood there knowing he was the one, that he had done it, he had taken away everything from me. I stood there and I lied.
I lied because I wanted it to be on my terms. I wanted to take away from him everything he had taken from me. I wanted him to know the truth, before he died.
I told him the truth.
Then I killed him.
Looking at Sayid that day, tethered to the tree... I knew exactly how he felt. I knew exactly what he had lost, and how nothing was going to replace that...
... he should have killed me. That's what revenge is for.
He should have killed me, but he knew as well as I did that I was already dead. Before I even said it, before I knew it was the same for him, he should have just gotten it over with.
It was a mistake. Shooting Shannon had been a mistake, I was just trying to protect my people, protect the last few of us that had survived everything else. I wasn't about to get this far... to get that close and have it all come crashing down around me.
So I fired the gun.
I killed Shannon.
I knew that look in his eyes too, because I had seen it before in myself. Still saw it everyonce in a while, catching a glimpse of my reflection in a glass window, or in the stillness of a stream. That look of nothingness. That there's nothing left inside or outside to feel, except that one burning drive to get back at everyone that had wronged you in this life and hell any other one too.
He took it all away from me that day. Took something from me that maybe I didn't even realize I wanted until I had it, and then when it was gone it was everything to me. He took away my life. My job, my family... all of it wasn't even the same anymore. The man I loved couldn't look at me anymore. The mother I trusted, couldn't even be straight with me.
I stood there in the viewing room memorizing his face. Remembering just how he looked when he pulled that trigger and sent me to the ground. I stood there knowing he was the one, that he had done it, he had taken away everything from me. I stood there and I lied.
I lied because I wanted it to be on my terms. I wanted to take away from him everything he had taken from me. I wanted him to know the truth, before he died.
I told him the truth.
Then I killed him.
Looking at Sayid that day, tethered to the tree... I knew exactly how he felt. I knew exactly what he had lost, and how nothing was going to replace that...
... he should have killed me. That's what revenge is for.