Feeling restless
There is a difference between happiness and being content. Happiness is a moment in time, like with a bowl of ice cream at a summer festival. Contentedness is an outlook on life. Generally, I think of myself as pretty content. But lately I have been just feeling restless.
There are certainly lots of factors: lousy Wisconsin summer weather, the perpetual headache that doesn't want to go away, the job has flattened, my two cool new co-workers were both absent this week, so the flattened job was super busy and I can't keep up. And there are lots of fun things to do in Milwaukee and no one wants to do them with me so I find myself flying solo more often than I probably should. I gave up on my church so I am at a new church where I have even fewer ties than I did before. And I feel like I have nothing keeping me in Milwaukee, at least on an emotional and personal level. But the professional obligations are enough to keep me where I am until next spring.
I don't know what my purpose in writing this down is, other than trying to put words to the restlessness bubbling in me. And I cry my frustrations out to God and whoever else might listen because I can't afford to feel this unsettled for the next nine months.
God, give me a content heart so I can live the best life for you.
There are certainly lots of factors: lousy Wisconsin summer weather, the perpetual headache that doesn't want to go away, the job has flattened, my two cool new co-workers were both absent this week, so the flattened job was super busy and I can't keep up. And there are lots of fun things to do in Milwaukee and no one wants to do them with me so I find myself flying solo more often than I probably should. I gave up on my church so I am at a new church where I have even fewer ties than I did before. And I feel like I have nothing keeping me in Milwaukee, at least on an emotional and personal level. But the professional obligations are enough to keep me where I am until next spring.
I don't know what my purpose in writing this down is, other than trying to put words to the restlessness bubbling in me. And I cry my frustrations out to God and whoever else might listen because I can't afford to feel this unsettled for the next nine months.
God, give me a content heart so I can live the best life for you.