Meh
/begin grousing
I am always trying to be a better person -- examining myself, challenging myself, etc. I am an imperfect being, but I've made a lot of progress. However, I seem to have 'phases'.
This is not such a great phase.
Lately, could be exhaustion, could be...who knows...I have lost my patience with the whole of humanity. Seriously -- the WHOLE thing! This was not a direction I wanted to go. Yes I did need to learn not to be a doormat, and to say 'no' and to be clear about what is okay and what is not, but now I've almost completely lost my filters. I have no patience for ignorance or passivity. Well, no patience for these attributes if one has them and then only complains about the results --- somehow with no action, problems or misunderstandings are supposed to be resolved or communicated by magic.
I've had these kinds of responses myself, however I really try to at least acknowledge they're irrational and partially my responsibility.
I guess I'm tired lately of being asked to do the thinking --- it's been a bad couple of months in that regard. Please try to know why you're having the emotions you are having. Please attempt to identify and think about your own problems and situations before spreading them around to everyone but the object of your emotional issues. If someone made you mad, for instance, how about telling them so? I'd say 80% of the time they have no idea...because it was not intentional. And had there simply been communication, it totally could've been resolved with little drama.
I'm happy to help --- don't get me wrong -- but I wish there was more a priori self reflection. Heaven knows how long we all have and I don't want to spend it in someone else's drama needlessly. Some drama cannot be avoided, and I'll be right there next to you fending off the enemy and cheering you on. This is the same frustration I have with students who don't have their lab book out, look in the microscope and then say 'I don't know what I'm looking at'. Well, that's because you don't have your lab book open to the page with the figure on it, and you didn't read it beforehand either. You're not spontaneously supposed to be able to identify that spot on the slide without collecting that information.
My recent pattern is probably compounded because a huge part of my job contains this issue. I'm advisor for my Department, for instance --- I spend hours a day listening to huge problems that could have been resolved with a simple moment of self reflection or a question asked. How do people live like this? I suppose by the good graces of others.
This is not very buddhist of me. I am trying to have compassion, and not be attached to the illogic of it all. I am trying to count to ten. I am trying to be a better person. I don't like having no filters. I need to lose my attachment to trying to solve the problem with logic and information. I need to lose my frustration with passivity, while not feeding the problem or taking it upon myself. I need to find a better way of saying "I can't help you with that problem until you do some work on it first". I tried just saying that, nicely, but while everyone agrees in theory that's a great idea, in practice, not so much.
Ugh! Today is already long and it's only 1pm!
/end grousing
J
I am always trying to be a better person -- examining myself, challenging myself, etc. I am an imperfect being, but I've made a lot of progress. However, I seem to have 'phases'.
This is not such a great phase.
Lately, could be exhaustion, could be...who knows...I have lost my patience with the whole of humanity. Seriously -- the WHOLE thing! This was not a direction I wanted to go. Yes I did need to learn not to be a doormat, and to say 'no' and to be clear about what is okay and what is not, but now I've almost completely lost my filters. I have no patience for ignorance or passivity. Well, no patience for these attributes if one has them and then only complains about the results --- somehow with no action, problems or misunderstandings are supposed to be resolved or communicated by magic.
I've had these kinds of responses myself, however I really try to at least acknowledge they're irrational and partially my responsibility.
I guess I'm tired lately of being asked to do the thinking --- it's been a bad couple of months in that regard. Please try to know why you're having the emotions you are having. Please attempt to identify and think about your own problems and situations before spreading them around to everyone but the object of your emotional issues. If someone made you mad, for instance, how about telling them so? I'd say 80% of the time they have no idea...because it was not intentional. And had there simply been communication, it totally could've been resolved with little drama.
I'm happy to help --- don't get me wrong -- but I wish there was more a priori self reflection. Heaven knows how long we all have and I don't want to spend it in someone else's drama needlessly. Some drama cannot be avoided, and I'll be right there next to you fending off the enemy and cheering you on. This is the same frustration I have with students who don't have their lab book out, look in the microscope and then say 'I don't know what I'm looking at'. Well, that's because you don't have your lab book open to the page with the figure on it, and you didn't read it beforehand either. You're not spontaneously supposed to be able to identify that spot on the slide without collecting that information.
My recent pattern is probably compounded because a huge part of my job contains this issue. I'm advisor for my Department, for instance --- I spend hours a day listening to huge problems that could have been resolved with a simple moment of self reflection or a question asked. How do people live like this? I suppose by the good graces of others.
This is not very buddhist of me. I am trying to have compassion, and not be attached to the illogic of it all. I am trying to count to ten. I am trying to be a better person. I don't like having no filters. I need to lose my attachment to trying to solve the problem with logic and information. I need to lose my frustration with passivity, while not feeding the problem or taking it upon myself. I need to find a better way of saying "I can't help you with that problem until you do some work on it first". I tried just saying that, nicely, but while everyone agrees in theory that's a great idea, in practice, not so much.
Ugh! Today is already long and it's only 1pm!
/end grousing
J