(no subject)
Had a fairly successful day today... In terms of getting things done. Seems we will have a new oven within the week. And my new bed-frame arrives tomorrow afternoon, I've got a new once after my old one broke, Rachel and I paid half each for a new one about a month and a half ago, and finally it will be here :-D
Shanna's back! I must admit when I saw her, I didn't feel anything... No feelings of anger, joy, love, hate, fear... Just absense of feeling. It might've been because I was tired. It's amazing how one person changes the group "dynamic"... Ashley's gone upstairs with her now. I remember Rachel and I retiring for bed and leaving Ashley behind. And I remember all the times before that when Ashley's taken Adele or Shanna to bed. It didn't seem to bother me back then, but a great sadness has come over me. Not caused by Ashley & Shanna at all... I just feel alone all of a sudden and, although that's never been an issue in the past, I now have someone to actually miss. And I miss her every passing minute of the day. Rachel's in my thoughts from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, and if I let myself I would cry at the thought that she's several thousands of miles away. I miss her. That's a simple fact, one I repeat every damn day. Emotions come and go, but I feel that I will miss Rachel until we are together again. It's fantastic now we can talk and see eachother, but... It's not the same, by far. It's like I'm talking to a memory, a very happy memory...
Anyway, I don't want to fill the entry with a long moan about how I'm aching over love... Although I have nothing else to say, so it'll have to be the majority of the post.
Shanna's back! I must admit when I saw her, I didn't feel anything... No feelings of anger, joy, love, hate, fear... Just absense of feeling. It might've been because I was tired. It's amazing how one person changes the group "dynamic"... Ashley's gone upstairs with her now. I remember Rachel and I retiring for bed and leaving Ashley behind. And I remember all the times before that when Ashley's taken Adele or Shanna to bed. It didn't seem to bother me back then, but a great sadness has come over me. Not caused by Ashley & Shanna at all... I just feel alone all of a sudden and, although that's never been an issue in the past, I now have someone to actually miss. And I miss her every passing minute of the day. Rachel's in my thoughts from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed, and if I let myself I would cry at the thought that she's several thousands of miles away. I miss her. That's a simple fact, one I repeat every damn day. Emotions come and go, but I feel that I will miss Rachel until we are together again. It's fantastic now we can talk and see eachother, but... It's not the same, by far. It's like I'm talking to a memory, a very happy memory...
Anyway, I don't want to fill the entry with a long moan about how I'm aching over love... Although I have nothing else to say, so it'll have to be the majority of the post.