On How (Not) To Love
on how (not) to love
shinee/f(x) - minho/krystal - pg
1059w~
there's no such thing as an end to what never started.
The pitter patter of the rain is haunting. Soojung sits by the window and watches the drops fall in heavy rain, the fine detailing of nature blurred by the water, and it's an ugly day.
He comes behind her and the kiss he places on the back of her neck stings.
"Hey."
Soojung turns to the side, but the waterfall of her hair isn't enough to block out his flawless features, defined jawline and big eyes and smooth, tan skin, a beautiful smile that she isn't worthy of - Choi Minho, of who she isn't worthy of. She smiles at him and it is bitter.
"Hey." It's the farthest they ever get.
Whatever they have is indefinite, unexplainable, breaking the boundaries as Jinri would say. Jinri has this perfect romance with gentleman Lee Taemin and Soojung wishes they were the same - that when his hands held hers, they weren't so tightly bound or loosely hanging, and she could at least pretend there was someone there to love.
But even pretending has become difficult, now.
"Do you even think there's something there?"
Minho isn't paying attention, but to Soojung that's not anything new. She just watches him, how his bangs graze the tips of his eyelashes and how someone so beautiful is even near something like her. "Something where?"
"Between us."
He smiles, and it is scornful. Soojung wishes she'd never asked, but he closes the magazine in his hands and looks up at her. The way Minho looks at her burns.
"It's not like that matters, right?" He's leaning in closer and his eyes dart towards her lips, and Soojung's heart is hammering in her chest, beating furiously and screaming for something she doesn't know. She swallows and then he kisses her and Soojung loves his every touch, painful and so wrong.
By the time she's pulled away, it's too late. He's already caught her. "Told you."
Soojung hates the way he uses her, but Soojung loves him. She wonders if their is a difference.
Jinri sets them up because he's best friends with Taemin and she says there has to be something there. They go on a date, a dinner date, those cheesy high school nights out, and he is the epitome of every girl's dream. He is charismatic and filled with compliments and holds the door open for her like every gentleman should.
Soojung thought at that time there could actually be something but then he stays the night and he is like the rest of them, Choi Minho.
She would say she minds but after this long Soojung has learned to grow accustomed to it.
It could have been a one-night stand but Soojung is so vulnerable. She wants his love though all he gives is lust and she, in return, throws her heart at him and pieces it back together when it is returned in shreds.
The first time they break up is also the last. "I'm looking for a real relationship," she tells him and he shrugs her off and tells her to go find one.
He's at her house later that night giving apologies and before he even finishes his second sentence, Soojung has opened the door and let him in like it was stupid for him to have left in the first place.
There's no such thing as an end to what never started.
Once, he caught her crying in her bathroom. They were supposed to go on a date, meet Jinri and Taemin at a restaurant and leave to a party from there, display a relationship that was nothing but sex and lies in its inner.
She doesn't know how long he'd been watching, but when the eyeliner streaks too far from her eye Soojung thinks she might not be able to take it for much longer.
Then he's sitting next to her on the floor and whispering those same sweet lies into her ear, brushing her hair and rocking her back and forth in a too solid body and too strong arms. True love has its imperfections but the way her head rested so perfectly into the crevice his neck, how his arms molded around her waist, it makes her question them.
There's nothing about them that is real, and so why, then, should it exist.
An hour later Taemin and Jinri are at their doorstep, and Minho is leading Soojung out the door. She's dressed flawlessly in a sequined mini and her make-up is without a smudge.
It's amazing what he can do for her. Amazing, and so frightening.
They're laying naked in bed one day, him long passed out and her unable to keep her eyes shut for more than a minute. The fan is blowing hot air at them but it's raining too hard outside to open the window and not flood her belongings.
Soojung gets up from the bed, throwing on a robe she picks up from the floor in the process, and leaves her room.
She stands at the window in the living room, cracking open the window just barely so she can smell the dirty outside air and feel the misty droplets fly in from the small opening, and it feels much better than anything in a while. Much better than anything he's given her, at least.
They aren't ever apart for too long.
Minho comes up behind her a while later, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin on her shoulder. She hates the way she relaxes. "What are you doing out here?" he says. "I feel lonely without you."
"It was too hot."
Soojung feels his smile against her neck and it tickles, sending warm shivers tingling down her spine. They stand like that for how long, she doesn't know, forever losing track of time when he is holding her in any way.
The sun rises and it is still raining. Minho sighs after a while, and then stands up, tilting her face to the side so he can kiss her. His lips are so soft and so sweet for someone so bitter. They are pressed against each other for too long, and when her arms finally lift up from her sides to his neck, he pulls away (but it's always like that, always.)
Minho leaves her apartment a while later and Soojung hates the way she loves him.
requests of the day
otp
chanyeol/seohyun
minho/krystal
minho/seohyun
shinee/f(x) - minho/krystal - pg
1059w~
there's no such thing as an end to what never started.
The pitter patter of the rain is haunting. Soojung sits by the window and watches the drops fall in heavy rain, the fine detailing of nature blurred by the water, and it's an ugly day.
He comes behind her and the kiss he places on the back of her neck stings.
"Hey."
Soojung turns to the side, but the waterfall of her hair isn't enough to block out his flawless features, defined jawline and big eyes and smooth, tan skin, a beautiful smile that she isn't worthy of - Choi Minho, of who she isn't worthy of. She smiles at him and it is bitter.
"Hey." It's the farthest they ever get.
Whatever they have is indefinite, unexplainable, breaking the boundaries as Jinri would say. Jinri has this perfect romance with gentleman Lee Taemin and Soojung wishes they were the same - that when his hands held hers, they weren't so tightly bound or loosely hanging, and she could at least pretend there was someone there to love.
But even pretending has become difficult, now.
"Do you even think there's something there?"
Minho isn't paying attention, but to Soojung that's not anything new. She just watches him, how his bangs graze the tips of his eyelashes and how someone so beautiful is even near something like her. "Something where?"
"Between us."
He smiles, and it is scornful. Soojung wishes she'd never asked, but he closes the magazine in his hands and looks up at her. The way Minho looks at her burns.
"It's not like that matters, right?" He's leaning in closer and his eyes dart towards her lips, and Soojung's heart is hammering in her chest, beating furiously and screaming for something she doesn't know. She swallows and then he kisses her and Soojung loves his every touch, painful and so wrong.
By the time she's pulled away, it's too late. He's already caught her. "Told you."
Soojung hates the way he uses her, but Soojung loves him. She wonders if their is a difference.
Jinri sets them up because he's best friends with Taemin and she says there has to be something there. They go on a date, a dinner date, those cheesy high school nights out, and he is the epitome of every girl's dream. He is charismatic and filled with compliments and holds the door open for her like every gentleman should.
Soojung thought at that time there could actually be something but then he stays the night and he is like the rest of them, Choi Minho.
She would say she minds but after this long Soojung has learned to grow accustomed to it.
It could have been a one-night stand but Soojung is so vulnerable. She wants his love though all he gives is lust and she, in return, throws her heart at him and pieces it back together when it is returned in shreds.
The first time they break up is also the last. "I'm looking for a real relationship," she tells him and he shrugs her off and tells her to go find one.
He's at her house later that night giving apologies and before he even finishes his second sentence, Soojung has opened the door and let him in like it was stupid for him to have left in the first place.
There's no such thing as an end to what never started.
Once, he caught her crying in her bathroom. They were supposed to go on a date, meet Jinri and Taemin at a restaurant and leave to a party from there, display a relationship that was nothing but sex and lies in its inner.
She doesn't know how long he'd been watching, but when the eyeliner streaks too far from her eye Soojung thinks she might not be able to take it for much longer.
Then he's sitting next to her on the floor and whispering those same sweet lies into her ear, brushing her hair and rocking her back and forth in a too solid body and too strong arms. True love has its imperfections but the way her head rested so perfectly into the crevice his neck, how his arms molded around her waist, it makes her question them.
There's nothing about them that is real, and so why, then, should it exist.
An hour later Taemin and Jinri are at their doorstep, and Minho is leading Soojung out the door. She's dressed flawlessly in a sequined mini and her make-up is without a smudge.
It's amazing what he can do for her. Amazing, and so frightening.
They're laying naked in bed one day, him long passed out and her unable to keep her eyes shut for more than a minute. The fan is blowing hot air at them but it's raining too hard outside to open the window and not flood her belongings.
Soojung gets up from the bed, throwing on a robe she picks up from the floor in the process, and leaves her room.
She stands at the window in the living room, cracking open the window just barely so she can smell the dirty outside air and feel the misty droplets fly in from the small opening, and it feels much better than anything in a while. Much better than anything he's given her, at least.
They aren't ever apart for too long.
Minho comes up behind her a while later, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin on her shoulder. She hates the way she relaxes. "What are you doing out here?" he says. "I feel lonely without you."
"It was too hot."
Soojung feels his smile against her neck and it tickles, sending warm shivers tingling down her spine. They stand like that for how long, she doesn't know, forever losing track of time when he is holding her in any way.
The sun rises and it is still raining. Minho sighs after a while, and then stands up, tilting her face to the side so he can kiss her. His lips are so soft and so sweet for someone so bitter. They are pressed against each other for too long, and when her arms finally lift up from her sides to his neck, he pulls away (but it's always like that, always.)
Minho leaves her apartment a while later and Soojung hates the way she loves him.
requests of the day
otp
chanyeol/seohyun
minho/krystal
minho/seohyun