invincible

[tensionrising]

"I'm going to live forever," he says

and you smile because you know that's never how things work out
and every day you're dying more and more--your skin, your hair,
your bones--all wearing away seconds at a time until there's
nothing left that works and nothing left to think about.
from the thirteenth to the thirteenth, you've changed
and I'm only more alone and now less of the me who I thought
I was and you're the you, I'd always hoped you'd grow to find.
it wasn't me, the catalyst, but still the teacher, again--
there you go again, showing people the way like a light
or a beacon in the darkness, glowing brightly, illuminating
the path and burning down the obstacles with your heat.
and each time, their journey becomes easier, more simple,
and you pile on more weight and more burdens to carry
along as a reminder to yourself because that's what you've
always done. is this the only way? and you watch them walk farther
away from you and you call out, but they're too far away to hear
your voice and it's tired from all the weight and the walking
and sometimes you just want to quit and throw down the old
t shirts and photographs and trinkets and memories, but you can't
let them go because you don't know who you'd be without them