A mistake
So, it has been just over two months since Nick broke up with me. I have found this time to be insightful, sad, lonely, LONG, and empty. Suddenly, I had no idea what was going to happen in the future, and I was left with what little I had left to pick up and try to move on. I kept hearing the same things from him, but over the last couple of weeks, it seemed as though his tone had changed. It turned more to, "I want to be with you, but I need to do this." What killed me was that he wanted another relationship before he could get back with me. Dates, I can understand, but another girlfriend? That I couldn't.
This past weekend, we spent quite a bit of time together. Luke was in town, and Zombieland came out. So, we went and saw the movie, having a great time together, and went over to Luke's house after to watch the series premiere of the new Stargate. I was sitting next to Nick on the couch, watching as Luke and Michelle snuggled, thinking just how unfair it was that they were allowed to that. That it was OK for them to be like that. Well, Nick proceeded to see the same thing, and slipped his arm around me. Funny how something that used to be so easy can mean so much now. He took me home, and we met up the next day to go up to the brewery in Dunedin.
We talked along the way, saying how both our biggest fear was losing each other. Even after we met up with Luke and Michelle, we were still acting that we were a couple. At one point, we were busy talking to each other that we didn't notice we were ignoring them, but of course Luke had to point it out. We left rather early since I was doing a stream that night, but Nick went back. I had been telling him to talk to Luke, and I guess whatever Luke said worked. We talked a little since that night, and I knew that Luke made an impact, but Nick said he needed a little more time to think about it. I didn't think that meant that I was going to be woken up at 5 in the morning a couple days later by him crawling in my bed to say that he had made a mistake.
He said he loves me, and that he doesn't care about other girls. That he was trying to fulfill what he thought guys were supposed to experience, what he thought he should experience, but he was wrong. I'm greatful that it happened though, give him a kick of reality, and what life would be like with out me. I'm happy, but honestly, I'm still a little scared. My heart was so broken that it is going to take some time to heal. I'm hopeful for the future, and willing to take the risk of heartbreak again it means I might never have to feel it again.
This past weekend, we spent quite a bit of time together. Luke was in town, and Zombieland came out. So, we went and saw the movie, having a great time together, and went over to Luke's house after to watch the series premiere of the new Stargate. I was sitting next to Nick on the couch, watching as Luke and Michelle snuggled, thinking just how unfair it was that they were allowed to that. That it was OK for them to be like that. Well, Nick proceeded to see the same thing, and slipped his arm around me. Funny how something that used to be so easy can mean so much now. He took me home, and we met up the next day to go up to the brewery in Dunedin.
We talked along the way, saying how both our biggest fear was losing each other. Even after we met up with Luke and Michelle, we were still acting that we were a couple. At one point, we were busy talking to each other that we didn't notice we were ignoring them, but of course Luke had to point it out. We left rather early since I was doing a stream that night, but Nick went back. I had been telling him to talk to Luke, and I guess whatever Luke said worked. We talked a little since that night, and I knew that Luke made an impact, but Nick said he needed a little more time to think about it. I didn't think that meant that I was going to be woken up at 5 in the morning a couple days later by him crawling in my bed to say that he had made a mistake.
He said he loves me, and that he doesn't care about other girls. That he was trying to fulfill what he thought guys were supposed to experience, what he thought he should experience, but he was wrong. I'm greatful that it happened though, give him a kick of reality, and what life would be like with out me. I'm happy, but honestly, I'm still a little scared. My heart was so broken that it is going to take some time to heal. I'm hopeful for the future, and willing to take the risk of heartbreak again it means I might never have to feel it again.