So....
A more rational post this time around.
Well, maybe not totally rational in some aspects, but in some at least.
I have decided to delete my plenty of fish account. I made it so quickly after the break up as a means to find a fall back as soon as I could. A rebound? Perhaps, but then I realized I wasn't even ready for a rebound. So, instead of focusing SO hard on trying to force myself with someone else as quickly as possible, and putting all my energy into worrying about the break up, I've decided to just take care of myself right now. Focus on what I want to do. Work on my story, videos, hang out with friends, and just chill. If I run into someone along the way, that's awesome, but I'm not out there looking. Besides, with my luck, looking never works anyway XD.
Now, to the maybe not so rational part. I was thinking today, about how my whole life I've focused SO much on getting married. How I've always wanted a husband, a man that I know will always be there and loves ME. But looking around at marriages that all apart every day, I know that it's not what it used to be anymore. Getting married doesn't seem like a commitment to some people. It's like, "We'll get married, and then if it doesn't work we will just get divorced." I understand divorce, that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying is that people don't seem to want to WORK on relationships anymore, and make it work. So, getting married is no guarantee that someone will always be there for you. Maybe, I'm just not meant to get married. Maybe I am just supposed to be on my own. I've NEVER had luck with guys, and then when I do they seem to either obsess over me, or are not into me as much as I am into them. I've never met anyone in the middle, and it's really killed my confidence that the only guy who seemed to just want to be with me was the one who treated me the worse.
As of now, I've given up on the idea of getting married, at least for myself. There is only one guy I would want to marry, and he's off doing his own soul searching. So, for my life now, marriage is not a requirement. Again, I stumble upon it, then that's great, but I probably won't, at least not anytime soon. Congratz to all those getting married now, but I see myself being one of the "Sex in the City" girls, and not tied down for a long time...I just can't let that be my worse fear anymore.
Well, maybe not totally rational in some aspects, but in some at least.
I have decided to delete my plenty of fish account. I made it so quickly after the break up as a means to find a fall back as soon as I could. A rebound? Perhaps, but then I realized I wasn't even ready for a rebound. So, instead of focusing SO hard on trying to force myself with someone else as quickly as possible, and putting all my energy into worrying about the break up, I've decided to just take care of myself right now. Focus on what I want to do. Work on my story, videos, hang out with friends, and just chill. If I run into someone along the way, that's awesome, but I'm not out there looking. Besides, with my luck, looking never works anyway XD.
Now, to the maybe not so rational part. I was thinking today, about how my whole life I've focused SO much on getting married. How I've always wanted a husband, a man that I know will always be there and loves ME. But looking around at marriages that all apart every day, I know that it's not what it used to be anymore. Getting married doesn't seem like a commitment to some people. It's like, "We'll get married, and then if it doesn't work we will just get divorced." I understand divorce, that's not what I'm saying, I'm saying is that people don't seem to want to WORK on relationships anymore, and make it work. So, getting married is no guarantee that someone will always be there for you. Maybe, I'm just not meant to get married. Maybe I am just supposed to be on my own. I've NEVER had luck with guys, and then when I do they seem to either obsess over me, or are not into me as much as I am into them. I've never met anyone in the middle, and it's really killed my confidence that the only guy who seemed to just want to be with me was the one who treated me the worse.
As of now, I've given up on the idea of getting married, at least for myself. There is only one guy I would want to marry, and he's off doing his own soul searching. So, for my life now, marriage is not a requirement. Again, I stumble upon it, then that's great, but I probably won't, at least not anytime soon. Congratz to all those getting married now, but I see myself being one of the "Sex in the City" girls, and not tied down for a long time...I just can't let that be my worse fear anymore.