Changes...I hate changes.
SO...as most of you have probably figured out by now, Nick broke up with me. It was not mutual at all, I was totally blind sided. I'm sitting on the computer, he's on the couch and then, "We need to talk." @_@ ... I wasn't sure, honestly, if he was going to break up or propose to me. I was completely heart broken and shocked. I'm getting a little better now...but I'm still hurt and confused.
His reasoning is because I'm his first girlfriend. He fell out of love with me, I guess, and wants to see if there is something better out there, or rather just see what is out there. I understand, partly, and I'm grateful that if he thought he was going to end up cheating on me that he ended it before he did. I could never stand a cheat. But...still...it hurts a lot. Especially knowing it was nothing that I did or could have changed. I'm ultimately being punished for being his first girlfriend. Plus, he's told me that's not that he wasn't happy or that this is what he wants, but what he needs. The kid is confusing the hell out of me. We have both said we might get back together, but we might not. He is pretty set on having these "experiences", well then, I'm going to have them too!
Maybe not sex with random people...because that is just gross to me...but I WILL go on dates. I went out and bought a whole bunch of really cute clothes and sexy things...muahahhahha!!
But, in all seriousness...I'm horribly torn up. I'm taking it day by day. I know he still cares, and I guess that is what is getting me by. We are still close and trying to figure this out. I just wish he would have talked to me about this before just splitting us up. I'm moving home now, we have to decide how to split our stuff...at least we don't have too much. Anyone have any advice? Should I bother having hope? Is this another, "he's just not that into you" moment that I should pound into my head? I still love him...which is what hurts the most. BREAKING UP SUCKS!!!
His reasoning is because I'm his first girlfriend. He fell out of love with me, I guess, and wants to see if there is something better out there, or rather just see what is out there. I understand, partly, and I'm grateful that if he thought he was going to end up cheating on me that he ended it before he did. I could never stand a cheat. But...still...it hurts a lot. Especially knowing it was nothing that I did or could have changed. I'm ultimately being punished for being his first girlfriend. Plus, he's told me that's not that he wasn't happy or that this is what he wants, but what he needs. The kid is confusing the hell out of me. We have both said we might get back together, but we might not. He is pretty set on having these "experiences", well then, I'm going to have them too!
Maybe not sex with random people...because that is just gross to me...but I WILL go on dates. I went out and bought a whole bunch of really cute clothes and sexy things...muahahhahha!!
But, in all seriousness...I'm horribly torn up. I'm taking it day by day. I know he still cares, and I guess that is what is getting me by. We are still close and trying to figure this out. I just wish he would have talked to me about this before just splitting us up. I'm moving home now, we have to decide how to split our stuff...at least we don't have too much. Anyone have any advice? Should I bother having hope? Is this another, "he's just not that into you" moment that I should pound into my head? I still love him...which is what hurts the most. BREAKING UP SUCKS!!!