The Favor (One-Shot)
The Favor
By tenshinrtaiga
Disclaimer: I don’t own HIMYM
Characters/Pairings: Ted & Barney with discussion of Barney/Robin.
Summary: Written for dreamsofspike at the HIMYM Comment Ficathon. Barney asks for a favor from Ted to help him propose to Robin.
Prompt:
Robin/Barney & Ted - Barney has Ted punch him in the face so he'll have a couple sexy bruises to better his chances before proposing to Robin
“I need a favor,” Barney stated immediately as he waltzed into Ted’s apartment.
“No,” Ted replied equally immediately, not even bothering to look up from his papers.
“Come on!” Barney pouted before realizing in order for that to work, Ted would have to be looking at him. So instead, he resorted to begging. “Pleeeaaase,” he pleaded.
“Even more no,” Ted responded. If Barney wanted something this bad, then Ted was better off staying far, far away from it.
“Pllleeeaaassee,” Barney tried again.
“Barney, I said no.” Ted was beginning to get annoyed. He had to finish reading these papers and Barney was bugging him.
“Pllllleeeeeaaaaa-”
“Barney!” Ted slammed a book down on his desk to shut the man up. “I’m busy, I can’t!”
“But it will only take a second!” Barney coaxed. “I just need you to punch me.”
Ted finally turned to look at the blond. “Oh. Well, why didn’t you say that to start with.”
Barney nodded with a smile, happy to have gotten his way, before the smile turned into a pout as he realized what Ted was saying. “Hey!” he said, offended.
The brunet rolled his eyes, but smiled good-naturedly. He was never going to get his work done with Barney pestering so he might as well, figure out what the problem was. “Why do you want me to punch you?”
“I need Robin to agree to something and she’ll be more likely to say yes if it looks like I’ve been in a fight,” Barney explained. “You know how she gets.”
Ted made a disgusted face. “This isn’t a sex thing, is it? I thought I told you that I wasn’t going to do stuff like that for you after last time. I had no idea you were going to use my cake for that.”
Barney smirked but shook his head. “No, this isn’t a sex thing.” He stopped and reconsidered. “At least not originally, but I’m hardly going to turn her down if she wants-”
“Alright, enough!” Ted interrupted. “Then what is it for?”
Barney shifted uncomfortably on his feet for a second. “I have to ask her a question.”
Ted looked at his friend suspiciously. “What kind of question?”
The blond huffed before quickly muttering, “Iwanttoaskhertomarryme.”
“What?!” Ted asked explosively. He was sure his jaw was on the ground. Barney wanted to ask Robin to marry him? Sure, Barney had proposed to Quinn before, but no one honestly thought he’d make it down the isle. But with Robin? That was a whole other can of worms. “You want to what?”
Barney huffed again. “You heard me,” he muttered before glaring. “And you need to help me, so come on!” He opened his arms wide to show that he wasn’t going to fight an oncoming punch.
“Wait, let me get this straight. You want me to punch you so that you’ll look like you’ve been in a fight because you think Robin, who likes fights, will be more likely to say yes that way when you ask her to marry you,” the other man summarized.
“Yes.” Barney nodded emphatically, happy that Ted finally caught on.
“Yeah, no.” Ted turned on his heel and tried to make a hasty escape to his bedroom. Unfortunately he wasn’t fast enough because Barney quickly caught his arm, just as Ted had reached the door.
“Teeeddd!” Barney whined once more.
“You’re being ridiculous, Barney. Robin isn’t going to say yes just because you have a bruise. Just go ask her!” Ted shouted as he tried to pry Barney’s grip off his arm. He succeeded and made it inside his bedroom, but ended up struggling with Barney in order to shut the door.
Ted yanked hard, trying to shut his bedroom door while Barney yanked, trying to open it. It was a battle of wills that neither seemed to be winning. “You know how Robin is. She’s terrified of commitment. I mean, I thought I had it bad… She’ll never say yes,” Barney grunted in argument.
“A bruise won’t change her answer!” Ted growled back as he planted both feet on either side of the door and used his weight to try and get it closed.
“It might!” Barney rebutted. “Come on! Please! You know you want to punch me.”
Ted nodded, knowing that Barney wouldn’t be able to see him. “Not for this,” he replied. “And Robin might surprise you. She loves you. She might say yes.”
“Then a bruise will make her say yes,” the blond returned.
Ted sighed. Barney was really torn up about this. He obviously really wanted Robin to marry him and was willing to do anything to make it happen. Ted really didn’t want to punch Barney though.
Unfortunately, his slight hesitation was enough because his grip loosened and the doorknob flew out of his hands, causing him to fall to the floor with a thud. On the other side of the door, he heard Barney yelp in pain as the door slammed into his face. After a moment of silence, they both got up, eyes wide in surprise at what had just happened.
“Crap, Barney. Your face.” Ted reached out to point to the cut on the side of Barney’s cheek and the rapidly darkening bruise.
“What?” Barney asked, still surprised before reaching up to touch his face. He winced immediately in pain before a large grin took over his face. “Aw, thanks man. You’re the best!” Barney crowed as he quickly left the apartment.
Ted looked after him in confusion before realizing what he meant. Ted had unintentionally given Barney exactly what he’d asked for. “Crap,” he muttered, but there was a fond smile on his lips. He hoped Robin said yes too.