(no subject)
Well, its been over a week since last I posted. I guess I should come up with something to say.
Again, not much going on lately. Same old feeling lonely and kind of depressed. The severity varies from time to time. The mood changes I've been getting lately are kind of suprising. One moment I'll be sitting there doing whatever, feeling well enough, and then a moment later I'll feel sad, lonely, disheartened, and a good deal of self-loathing. It happened tonight in fact, no more than twenty or thirty minutes ago, actually. I was talking to my friend online, who Ihad not heard from in a while, much less seen her online. Anyway, I was talking to her, all well and good and then, I don't know what triggered it exactly, but I felt the feelings listed above; sad, lonely, dejected, despondant, maybe a little envy, etc.
I don't know if she was able to pick up on my change of mood. I doubt it, I tried to keep it from becoming evident. I didn't want to start whining to her, considering it had been a while since I had last heard from her. Now, don't get me wrong, I really don't think it was talking to her that depressed me, I just think it was a coincidence. I happened to get depressed as I was talking to her.
Thats the way it goes, I guess. But really, what has this post been thus far, but more of the same boring shit? Nothing new, the reports have been that there's nothing to report for a while now. I haven't written anything in months, I've barely left the house, I'm unemployed, and so on. I'm fully aware of the pathetic nature of my life, and all I've been able to do is bitch about it to this journal. I realize some changes must be mad, but I just haven't been able to make them. I'm not trying to take responsibility off of myself, in truth I'm probably to blame for my own faults and problems. I mean, I really can't blame anyone else...so, why haven't I been able to bring myself to change anything?
Again, more of the same. heh, I bitch, and then I bitch at myself for bitching in the first place. heh...again, a lot of melodramatic bullshit. But then again, isn't that what livejournal is essentially for? To spout off the melodramatic, angst-ridden bullshit nobody else will gladly listen to.
But, I digress...I suppose I can come up with something new to say...let's see...uh...hmmm...damnit. Oh...uh...I guess we might be moving some time soon. Before Christmas anyway. uh...erh...I'm kind of kicking around an idea to write about, but its vague and full of holes...so, it might be a while, unless I get a sudden stroke of inspiration. I went to a tournament...thing...last weekend...I think I got third place...I don't really know.
Sadly, I think thats about it...oh well, maybe something will come up later. Goodnight.
Again, not much going on lately. Same old feeling lonely and kind of depressed. The severity varies from time to time. The mood changes I've been getting lately are kind of suprising. One moment I'll be sitting there doing whatever, feeling well enough, and then a moment later I'll feel sad, lonely, disheartened, and a good deal of self-loathing. It happened tonight in fact, no more than twenty or thirty minutes ago, actually. I was talking to my friend online, who Ihad not heard from in a while, much less seen her online. Anyway, I was talking to her, all well and good and then, I don't know what triggered it exactly, but I felt the feelings listed above; sad, lonely, dejected, despondant, maybe a little envy, etc.
I don't know if she was able to pick up on my change of mood. I doubt it, I tried to keep it from becoming evident. I didn't want to start whining to her, considering it had been a while since I had last heard from her. Now, don't get me wrong, I really don't think it was talking to her that depressed me, I just think it was a coincidence. I happened to get depressed as I was talking to her.
Thats the way it goes, I guess. But really, what has this post been thus far, but more of the same boring shit? Nothing new, the reports have been that there's nothing to report for a while now. I haven't written anything in months, I've barely left the house, I'm unemployed, and so on. I'm fully aware of the pathetic nature of my life, and all I've been able to do is bitch about it to this journal. I realize some changes must be mad, but I just haven't been able to make them. I'm not trying to take responsibility off of myself, in truth I'm probably to blame for my own faults and problems. I mean, I really can't blame anyone else...so, why haven't I been able to bring myself to change anything?
Again, more of the same. heh, I bitch, and then I bitch at myself for bitching in the first place. heh...again, a lot of melodramatic bullshit. But then again, isn't that what livejournal is essentially for? To spout off the melodramatic, angst-ridden bullshit nobody else will gladly listen to.
But, I digress...I suppose I can come up with something new to say...let's see...uh...hmmm...damnit. Oh...uh...I guess we might be moving some time soon. Before Christmas anyway. uh...erh...I'm kind of kicking around an idea to write about, but its vague and full of holes...so, it might be a while, unless I get a sudden stroke of inspiration. I went to a tournament...thing...last weekend...I think I got third place...I don't really know.
Sadly, I think thats about it...oh well, maybe something will come up later. Goodnight.