More Fun With Telemarketers
At about 5:20, my dorm room phone rang. It was a telemarketer! Really, these guys should now better than to call me. Ya know, I used to be such a nice boy, but somewhere along the lines, I was corrupted. Ah well. Their loss is my gain.
(phone rings)
Me: "Hello?"
Telemarketer: (speaks VERY quickly) "Hello...(garbled message)...health services...(garbled message)...telephone?"
Me: "Buh what? Huh?"
Telemarketer: (sighs) "Hello. I am conducting a survey about local health services. Is this a business or home telephone?"
Me: "...Nope."
Telemarketer: (pauses before continuing) "Is this a business phone?"
Me: "Umm... nah."
Telemarketer: "Is this a home telephone?"
Me: "Nope."
Telemarketer: (confused) "Then what are you speaking on?"
Me: (thoughtful pause) "A banana."
Telemarketer: (long pause) "Oh. I see."
(telemarketer hangs up)
Also, I've been meaning to post this for a while. Took me four re-writes and two re-posts to get it to work. Piece 'o crap.
Soundtrack of my lifeOpening credits::Kamelot -- Center of the Universe Dreaming about someone scene:Evanescence -- Imaginary Waking up scene:Damageplan -- Wake Up Average day scene:Dir en Grey -- Sajou No Uta Friends scene:Relient K -- College Kids First date scene:Weezer -- Glorious Day Falling in love scene:Mae -- Breakdown Driving scene:Mest -- Cadillac Fight scene:The Agony Scene -- Eyes Sewn Shut Chase scene:Unwitten Law -- Hellborn Love scene:The Darkness -- Love is Only a Feeling Mellow love scene:Mae -- We're So Far Away Sex scene:RENT -- Contact Fight with friend scene:Shadows Fall -- Act of Contrition Fight with partner scene:Senses Fail -- Bloody Romance Angry/Bitter scene:A Love Ends Suicide -- Romance Creates Killers Breakup scene:Senses Fail -- Bite to Break Skin Get back together scene:Weezer -- O Girlfriend Long night alone scene:Lacuna Coil -- Purify Sad scene:Unwritten Law-- Seein' Red Heartbreak scene:Dead Poetic -- Molotov Evil/Revenge scene:Dimmu Borgir -- Progenies of the Great Apocalypse Mental breakdown scene:Lamb of God -- The Faded Line Contemplation scene:TRUSTcompany -- The Reflection Regret scene:TRUSTcompany -- Take It All Lesson learning scene:Kamelot -- Wings of Despair Life's okay scene:Relient K -- Pressing On Party scene:Sir Mix-a-Lot -- Baby Got Back Death scene:Dir en Grey -- Ain't Afraid to Die Nostalgia scene:Disturbed -- Remember Happy ending scene:UnderOath -- Reinventing Your Exit Closing credits:Becoming the Archetype -- Elegy Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d
(phone rings)
Me: "Hello?"
Telemarketer: (speaks VERY quickly) "Hello...(garbled message)...health services...(garbled message)...telephone?"
Me: "Buh what? Huh?"
Telemarketer: (sighs) "Hello. I am conducting a survey about local health services. Is this a business or home telephone?"
Me: "...Nope."
Telemarketer: (pauses before continuing) "Is this a business phone?"
Me: "Umm... nah."
Telemarketer: "Is this a home telephone?"
Me: "Nope."
Telemarketer: (confused) "Then what are you speaking on?"
Me: (thoughtful pause) "A banana."
Telemarketer: (long pause) "Oh. I see."
(telemarketer hangs up)
Also, I've been meaning to post this for a while. Took me four re-writes and two re-posts to get it to work. Piece 'o crap.
Soundtrack of my lifeOpening credits::Kamelot -- Center of the Universe Dreaming about someone scene:Evanescence -- Imaginary Waking up scene:Damageplan -- Wake Up Average day scene:Dir en Grey -- Sajou No Uta Friends scene:Relient K -- College Kids First date scene:Weezer -- Glorious Day Falling in love scene:Mae -- Breakdown Driving scene:Mest -- Cadillac Fight scene:The Agony Scene -- Eyes Sewn Shut Chase scene:Unwitten Law -- Hellborn Love scene:The Darkness -- Love is Only a Feeling Mellow love scene:Mae -- We're So Far Away Sex scene:RENT -- Contact Fight with friend scene:Shadows Fall -- Act of Contrition Fight with partner scene:Senses Fail -- Bloody Romance Angry/Bitter scene:A Love Ends Suicide -- Romance Creates Killers Breakup scene:Senses Fail -- Bite to Break Skin Get back together scene:Weezer -- O Girlfriend Long night alone scene:Lacuna Coil -- Purify Sad scene:Unwritten Law-- Seein' Red Heartbreak scene:Dead Poetic -- Molotov Evil/Revenge scene:Dimmu Borgir -- Progenies of the Great Apocalypse Mental breakdown scene:Lamb of God -- The Faded Line Contemplation scene:TRUSTcompany -- The Reflection Regret scene:TRUSTcompany -- Take It All Lesson learning scene:Kamelot -- Wings of Despair Life's okay scene:Relient K -- Pressing On Party scene:Sir Mix-a-Lot -- Baby Got Back Death scene:Dir en Grey -- Ain't Afraid to Die Nostalgia scene:Disturbed -- Remember Happy ending scene:UnderOath -- Reinventing Your Exit Closing credits:Becoming the Archetype -- Elegy Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d