Musings
I don't really like Twitter, I don't really like Tumblr, I don't really like Facebook, I don't really like Plurk, and the current climate of social media can go chug a bucket of horse piss as far as I'm concerned. Still, I dust this thing off not out of scorn for those platforms (which, quite hypocritically, I use anyway), but because I'm a creature of sentiment. Really, where else do I get to pick between He-Man and Vagrant Story icons?
On my mind these days, in various frequencies...
- I've never met an environmental activist I didn't want to punch, except for the ones I wanted to date.
- Up 13 pounds since January. Heavier weights, heavier shakes. Doesn't look like I'll keep my hair past my 30th birthday, but I'll have an ox's chest and freakishly venous arms. I already can't wait to cut, mind you - I feel like such a heifer. But the last five years have well and truly convinced me that weightlifting is one of the best lifestyle changes a man can make, with regard to his personal improvement. It naturally guides you to improve yourself in other areas. Insofar as you have a "natural state of being", lifting is one way to (re?)discover it. Sleep becomes the treasure it's meant to be, too.
- And then you pair it with a zinc/copper supplement and it turns your dreams haywire. I had one last week about being on a Tomb Raider adventure with an ex who ended up needing me to take her car to be detailed at 1AM by those two fairies that summon Mothra. I certainly can't fit that shit into a Tweet, so it's going here.
- Sometimes I wake up wondering what it would be like to have a wife snoozing next to me. Other days...
Coworker 1, a straight jock type: "You got a secret wife at home we don't know about?"
Me: "Nope."
Coworker 2, an engaged lesbian Navy vet: "Smart man."
Lone wolves are sometimes the envy of the pack, I guess. It's fair to say that there are nights I'll wake up and have a name I murmur to myself, or a memory I turn over in my mind. I don't think Loverboy Teek is ever going away. But I see that flash of pining in my married friends' eyes when I talk about spending a morning at some hole in the wall in Laguna Beach or Pasadena or Palm Springs, by myself and on my own time, hitting the road whenever I want to. How long should a man in the 21st century hold onto that? No new insights from me, I'm afraid. I don't have anything to add to this tune. I'm just letting it play.
- Being a generation or two behind the times with consoles lends you a certain perspective on the continuing brawl over games. But, even if I were up to date, I think I'd still be so disheartened by the direction of the conversation - and infuriated by the dimwits that are manipulating it for their own gain - that I'd prefer to recuse myself entirely. Sometimes it gets the better of me, though. I want to urge people not to get suckered into fighting somebody else's "culture war." Then I start feeling like an old man on a porch, and just go back to running through Ivalice or wherever. I feel bad about that - like I should say more - but I can't shake this suspicion that this whole storm of controversy is just a proxy for something else. I have my theories as to what it is. Hope I'm just paranoid, but more likely, I'm just getting cynical. I don't know when my insights into humanity hit such a low temperature. I miss 2005.
- Almost as much as I miss Eternity. I still play around in MS Word with another one, every now and then.
- Chicken and broccoli and rice. Chicken and broccoli and rice. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
- Last year, I felt as early as January that 2014 would be "a year of culmination" in a lot of ways, good and bad. I don't know what the theme for this year is, but I think I see its silhouette. Not expecting a bumpy ride, but I'm strapping in for a long one.
- Fuck I want to play FFXIV. I never stopped being that kid who wanted life to be like Final Fantasy. God, I'll probably think the same at 40.
Anyway, back to grinding at the Wheel of Pain.
On my mind these days, in various frequencies...
- I've never met an environmental activist I didn't want to punch, except for the ones I wanted to date.
- Up 13 pounds since January. Heavier weights, heavier shakes. Doesn't look like I'll keep my hair past my 30th birthday, but I'll have an ox's chest and freakishly venous arms. I already can't wait to cut, mind you - I feel like such a heifer. But the last five years have well and truly convinced me that weightlifting is one of the best lifestyle changes a man can make, with regard to his personal improvement. It naturally guides you to improve yourself in other areas. Insofar as you have a "natural state of being", lifting is one way to (re?)discover it. Sleep becomes the treasure it's meant to be, too.
- And then you pair it with a zinc/copper supplement and it turns your dreams haywire. I had one last week about being on a Tomb Raider adventure with an ex who ended up needing me to take her car to be detailed at 1AM by those two fairies that summon Mothra. I certainly can't fit that shit into a Tweet, so it's going here.
- Sometimes I wake up wondering what it would be like to have a wife snoozing next to me. Other days...
Coworker 1, a straight jock type: "You got a secret wife at home we don't know about?"
Me: "Nope."
Coworker 2, an engaged lesbian Navy vet: "Smart man."
Lone wolves are sometimes the envy of the pack, I guess. It's fair to say that there are nights I'll wake up and have a name I murmur to myself, or a memory I turn over in my mind. I don't think Loverboy Teek is ever going away. But I see that flash of pining in my married friends' eyes when I talk about spending a morning at some hole in the wall in Laguna Beach or Pasadena or Palm Springs, by myself and on my own time, hitting the road whenever I want to. How long should a man in the 21st century hold onto that? No new insights from me, I'm afraid. I don't have anything to add to this tune. I'm just letting it play.
- Being a generation or two behind the times with consoles lends you a certain perspective on the continuing brawl over games. But, even if I were up to date, I think I'd still be so disheartened by the direction of the conversation - and infuriated by the dimwits that are manipulating it for their own gain - that I'd prefer to recuse myself entirely. Sometimes it gets the better of me, though. I want to urge people not to get suckered into fighting somebody else's "culture war." Then I start feeling like an old man on a porch, and just go back to running through Ivalice or wherever. I feel bad about that - like I should say more - but I can't shake this suspicion that this whole storm of controversy is just a proxy for something else. I have my theories as to what it is. Hope I'm just paranoid, but more likely, I'm just getting cynical. I don't know when my insights into humanity hit such a low temperature. I miss 2005.
- Almost as much as I miss Eternity. I still play around in MS Word with another one, every now and then.
- Chicken and broccoli and rice. Chicken and broccoli and rice. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
- Last year, I felt as early as January that 2014 would be "a year of culmination" in a lot of ways, good and bad. I don't know what the theme for this year is, but I think I see its silhouette. Not expecting a bumpy ride, but I'm strapping in for a long one.
- Fuck I want to play FFXIV. I never stopped being that kid who wanted life to be like Final Fantasy. God, I'll probably think the same at 40.
Anyway, back to grinding at the Wheel of Pain.