Our Lyzzie
Ya know that sinking feeling in your tummy,
like when it's time to hand in homework & your teacher's really scary &
you just remembered that you didn't do it...
*snickers*
That sort of feeling & your mind screams out like Laruku,
"REVELATION!!"
Well, 3 days ago I was celebrating Elizabeth's b'day-
she lives in the same hall,
when one of her friends suddenly called her Lyzzie.
My head snapped up immediately & I stared at her (she was sitting directly opposite me)
Then at that exact moment I asked myself what I was doing there.
I thought of OUR Lyzzie, I couldn't get our Lyzzie out of my head;
I realized I don't know anything about Elizabeth,
I don't know what she's like, I just found out her fav. color 5 mins ago,
I don't know if she likes reading, all our lives, we've probably only spent 40 mins talking to each other.
& here I was celebrating the birthday of someone I don't know.
I just sat there thinking how superficial it was ya know...
yeah, we talk to each other, we stay in the same hall,
but still there's no connection, she doesn't know me like I don't know her.
I mean...I felt so stunned, so lost.
In my mind I was going,
'What the hell am i doing here!?'
I just wanted to run out the restaurant pulling at my hair & screaming.
Yeah, probably not a pretty picture.
Then I realized,
sY...you don't have any real friends.
You don't consider anyone friends with the exception of the smellvilians & Esther.
Hell, I plain don't fit in with most teenagers.
Yeah, we talk, we laugh we smile, but I'm not part of the group.
I don't fit in with the asians here, I don't sound like them, I don't talk like them,
I don't even look like them.
In high school I was popular, but I didn't belong to any group.
I was having a conversation & Eriko told me I was sophisticated.
My 1st thought was, 'OMG..what teenager is sophisticated!? What is wrong with me?'
Everyone goes to the pub, drinks, get drunk, comes back singing happily & holding hands.
I'm not in the least bit interested in doing so.
I'd prefer going to bed, or reading, or terrorizing MSN.
I'm supposedly intimidating,
I'm nice, nice to look at, nice to ask for help, sweet, kind,
but not the sort of person to get chummy with.
Think of Judith McNaught's Elizabeth Ashton from Whitney, My Love.
Genteel, polite, sweet, nice,
Basically nice.
It used to kinda bother me,
but you know what,
I don't care anymore.
When Deborah & i ended our relation ship,
I started doubting myself, I wondered if I really couldn't be friends with anyone
She said I was cold, mechanical.
Part of me knew it was probably true.
But theeeen!!
REVELATION!
You guys really, really do matter to me.
I can make friends & keep them.
I mean, seriously- if I really was cold & mechanical with you guys
I wouldn't remember little things, little details wouldn't bring a smile to my lips when I thought about them.
Like Ces & her African bees-stings, Lyzzie in a big white dress & god..so much more.
Hell, I even remember writing to you guys years ago & how I felt when I did & received your letters.
It was like..so exciting!
I bicycled to the nearest post office (YES! I DID! Aren't you proud of me)
weighed the letters, arranged the stamps, looked at it, squealed & dropped it in.
Lyzziiiie told me (in her letter! HAHA! I HAVE a letteeer!! )
she's afraid we won't have anything to say to each other when we meet & tht would be sad.
Lyzziie it sure ain't gonna happen on your wedding.
I think I'll be trying to keep the noise down.
Else we'll have dirty looks being shot at us.
We need to have a gab fest before you have your wedding...
*squeals*
It's just so cool to look back & see how we've progressed.
I mean 3-4 years ago I was the only one who was..you know.
*mutters something about brain-yes brain..u-kno..*
Then Ren. Then Lyz, Ces, then ZzZ. Arggh All of us.
We're just waiting for Maimai now.
Then we're all be experienced! Kinda..
You know..
I missed out boy-drooling in my teenaged yrs, (OMG! I'm in my last year! Craap!)
& we night not do that, but we talk.
& I like that.
I like yakking with you guys.
OOH! I just remembered Friday night & us.
We would be in a chatroom & I'd be like "Lyz!! she's online."
Then Ren would say, "It's Friday night"
sY:" Oh yeah.."
How did we ever understand each other?
Seriously...there'd be like..3 convos going on at the same time.
o.O
Anyway, I SMS you guys cause I get bored.
Nah, I just have lots of credit to burn.
I lost $97 dollars worth of credit last month cause I forgot to top up before it expired.
I am hungry.
I am hungry.
Arggh!
See you guys soon nyan!
*huggles & kishes*
like when it's time to hand in homework & your teacher's really scary &
you just remembered that you didn't do it...
*snickers*
That sort of feeling & your mind screams out like Laruku,
"REVELATION!!"
Well, 3 days ago I was celebrating Elizabeth's b'day-
she lives in the same hall,
when one of her friends suddenly called her Lyzzie.
My head snapped up immediately & I stared at her (she was sitting directly opposite me)
Then at that exact moment I asked myself what I was doing there.
I thought of OUR Lyzzie, I couldn't get our Lyzzie out of my head;
I realized I don't know anything about Elizabeth,
I don't know what she's like, I just found out her fav. color 5 mins ago,
I don't know if she likes reading, all our lives, we've probably only spent 40 mins talking to each other.
& here I was celebrating the birthday of someone I don't know.
I just sat there thinking how superficial it was ya know...
yeah, we talk to each other, we stay in the same hall,
but still there's no connection, she doesn't know me like I don't know her.
I mean...I felt so stunned, so lost.
In my mind I was going,
'What the hell am i doing here!?'
I just wanted to run out the restaurant pulling at my hair & screaming.
Yeah, probably not a pretty picture.
Then I realized,
sY...you don't have any real friends.
You don't consider anyone friends with the exception of the smellvilians & Esther.
Hell, I plain don't fit in with most teenagers.
Yeah, we talk, we laugh we smile, but I'm not part of the group.
I don't fit in with the asians here, I don't sound like them, I don't talk like them,
I don't even look like them.
In high school I was popular, but I didn't belong to any group.
I was having a conversation & Eriko told me I was sophisticated.
My 1st thought was, 'OMG..what teenager is sophisticated!? What is wrong with me?'
Everyone goes to the pub, drinks, get drunk, comes back singing happily & holding hands.
I'm not in the least bit interested in doing so.
I'd prefer going to bed, or reading, or terrorizing MSN.
I'm supposedly intimidating,
I'm nice, nice to look at, nice to ask for help, sweet, kind,
but not the sort of person to get chummy with.
Think of Judith McNaught's Elizabeth Ashton from Whitney, My Love.
Genteel, polite, sweet, nice,
Basically nice.
It used to kinda bother me,
but you know what,
I don't care anymore.
When Deborah & i ended our relation ship,
I started doubting myself, I wondered if I really couldn't be friends with anyone
She said I was cold, mechanical.
Part of me knew it was probably true.
But theeeen!!
REVELATION!
You guys really, really do matter to me.
I can make friends & keep them.
I mean, seriously- if I really was cold & mechanical with you guys
I wouldn't remember little things, little details wouldn't bring a smile to my lips when I thought about them.
Like Ces & her African bees-stings, Lyzzie in a big white dress & god..so much more.
Hell, I even remember writing to you guys years ago & how I felt when I did & received your letters.
It was like..so exciting!
I bicycled to the nearest post office (YES! I DID! Aren't you proud of me)
weighed the letters, arranged the stamps, looked at it, squealed & dropped it in.
Lyzziiiie told me (in her letter! HAHA! I HAVE a letteeer!! )
she's afraid we won't have anything to say to each other when we meet & tht would be sad.
Lyzziie it sure ain't gonna happen on your wedding.
I think I'll be trying to keep the noise down.
Else we'll have dirty looks being shot at us.
We need to have a gab fest before you have your wedding...
*squeals*
It's just so cool to look back & see how we've progressed.
I mean 3-4 years ago I was the only one who was..you know.
*mutters something about brain-yes brain..u-kno..*
Then Ren. Then Lyz, Ces, then ZzZ. Arggh All of us.
We're just waiting for Maimai now.
Then we're all be experienced! Kinda..
You know..
I missed out boy-drooling in my teenaged yrs, (OMG! I'm in my last year! Craap!)
& we night not do that, but we talk.
& I like that.
I like yakking with you guys.
OOH! I just remembered Friday night & us.
We would be in a chatroom & I'd be like "Lyz!! she's online."
Then Ren would say, "It's Friday night"
sY:" Oh yeah.."
How did we ever understand each other?
Seriously...there'd be like..3 convos going on at the same time.
o.O
Anyway, I SMS you guys cause I get bored.
Nah, I just have lots of credit to burn.
I lost $97 dollars worth of credit last month cause I forgot to top up before it expired.
I am hungry.
I am hungry.
Arggh!
See you guys soon nyan!
*huggles & kishes*