Look at me, look at me...I am changing
I think growth is one of the most important things someone can have in their lives. If people always stayed where they started, the world would be in a sorrier state of affairs then it already is, which would be a scary thing. Anyway.
I am 17 years old, and I am a high school graduate.
I guess the best way to start this would be to reference a particular magnet hanging on our fridge. It's got four different colored little hands and the phrase "Hands are evrey were." I made this magnet when I was in first grade, but it kind of has two meanings right now, in my little realization entry. 1.) I used to be horribly confused when it came to grammar and spelling. 2.) Hands ARE everywhere...I'm the person today because of the people in my life.
For starters, my family. They've taught me some good things and some bad things, and I hope I can obtain half of what they're handing out, willing or not.
My dad is 54 years old. He's a funny, caring person who would talk to a tree if it had the slightest inclination to talk back. He was raised in a southern family with three sisters, so he knows how to treat women and he's handy with directions and he's an awesome cook.. My dad is also really smart- he knows a lot about handiwork and certain things I can't wrap my brain around, and I'm more than happy to learn from him. My dad is a proud man- he loves his wife, his daughters, and others in his life. He's responsible, tidy, and is very good at whatever he sets his mind at doing. That being said, my dad is a proud man. He is a staunch conservative and has old-fashioned authority minded values, and can be extremely stubborn and sensitive. He makes communication hard sometimes.
I've picked up dad's love, humor, his knack for history and being good at what he tries, and stubbornness. I don't mind being stubborn because it means I have the sense to back up what I believe in, even if I also have the sense to realize it can be wrong sometimes. Unwillingly, in the sense that he doesn't know it, my dad has taught me to keep an open mind.
My mom is 51 years old. She has a wry sense of humor, a great personality, and is a hard worker. Mom came from a very complicated family situation and has had to work very hard to keep history from repeating itself. The best thing about my mom is her unconditional willingness to try to please the ones she cares most about, my dad being numero uno. My mom works long hours to provide for the family, and suffers for it by being exhausted when she comes home. However, mom is extremely shy and has a tendency to reserve herself around others. She is also stubborn as hell, and very vague in nature when she says things.
I've picked up mom's humor and "hustle" and a bit of her quirkiness as well. However, I've also picked up her shyness and vague tendencies.
I have three sisters: Lorie, Ginny, and Sammi, who are 28, 25, and 21, respectively. Lorie is extremely intelligent, very musically inclined, and overall a chill, fun person. Ginny is also smart and musically inclined, and has a wide variety of tastes when it comes to many things. Sammi is smart, extremely well versed in pop culture-esque things, and is extremely funny. Lorie also has a tendency to overthink things, can be very impatient, and picks her lips. Ginny has a tendency to shy away from personal things, like hugs and whatnot, and can be very sensitive. Sammi has the tendency to take everything the wrong way, and is constantly 'misunderstood'.
I have picked up every single thing from my sisters, just not as strongly as they have it. I'm smart, I adore music, singing AND hearing, I know a lot of things dealing with older pop culture, I love all sorts of clothes, foods, music, movies, books, etc., and I'm generally chill with a good sense of humor. I also overthink things, take things the wrong way, shy away from personal things [though I do love hugs so I don't have it as bad], pick my lips, and am constantly misunderstood. And, in a combination of their [my whole family] 5 political views, I find myself to be of moderate persuasion.
I am the youngest child.
Even with all these influences in my life, the ones I named, anyway, I am still my own person.
I have my OWN views, standards, affinities, loves, hates, wants, and needs. I'm a proud person. I'm open-minded. I love having several close friends, but it is hard for me to take the first step. I can be extremely sensitive if I overthink what someone says and take it the wrong way.
This train of thought stemmed from me stumbling across my old diaryland page, and a lot of my older LJ entries, even ones within the previous two years. I was a STUPID little kid [little being 13I went through a phase where I wanted to make LJ icons, but received little feedback to go along with the staunch rudeness, and tried to be a different type of person to make LJ friends. I went through a phase where I applied to 'rating communities' to see if I was pretty and cool enough for a bunch of rude bitches' standards. I went through a phase where I was obsessed with magic, though not to the point where I was growing my own herbs in my bedroom and dressing in flowy outfits. I had trouble telling my parents minor things for fear of the anger or misunderstanding, and was constantly in trouble because of it, because they always found out. I mouthed off a lot, due to my stubbornness, resulting in more trouble. I often fought with my sisters because I was a lot like them, whether they realized it or not, and that resulted in them becoming annoyed with me, or me being annoyed with them. I had and still have poor self-confidence, because I hadn't and haven't realized something until now, that I am and was a beautiful person with a good heart, sense of humor, and most importantly, a good head on my shoulders. I say things that are sometimes pretty dumb, but I make up for it with many more meaningful things. I have a odd body with some pudge, but that doesn't make me any less pretty or genial or unworthy. I'm sometimes overly abrasive, which has led me to say unkind things or judge my friends, and I'm sorry for that, but it happened. I'm also overly trusting and forgiving, which resulted in me once having and still having friends who don't really deserve the title, but has also resulted in me having some friends that will remain close to me and serve as fond memories for the future. My family is loud, quirky, and sometimes obnoxious, but I'm proud of it and I wouldn't trade any of them in a million years. I'm decent at most things I try, and I'm very thankful to be able to do the things that I do, because as of right now I'm healthy and functioning.
I deleted all of those Diaryland entries. I couldn't spell that great all of the time, my entries were things dealing with stupid poems, what I ate for lunch, and words like 'hooker biotch.' Bitch. Bitch. I can say that and realize that I'm not flawless and sometimes someone is going to be a bitch, and it's ok to say that and type that without being like "OMG I'M SUCHHH A BAD PERSON!!111!!!" Sure, I should've kept the entries for posterity or something like that, but just reading them today and purging them helped me a lot.
I'm just Jamie. I come with baggage, just like anyone else.
And you can go to hell if you can't be mature enough to accept that.
I am 17 years old, and I am a high school graduate.
I guess the best way to start this would be to reference a particular magnet hanging on our fridge. It's got four different colored little hands and the phrase "Hands are evrey were." I made this magnet when I was in first grade, but it kind of has two meanings right now, in my little realization entry. 1.) I used to be horribly confused when it came to grammar and spelling. 2.) Hands ARE everywhere...I'm the person today because of the people in my life.
For starters, my family. They've taught me some good things and some bad things, and I hope I can obtain half of what they're handing out, willing or not.
My dad is 54 years old. He's a funny, caring person who would talk to a tree if it had the slightest inclination to talk back. He was raised in a southern family with three sisters, so he knows how to treat women and he's handy with directions and he's an awesome cook.. My dad is also really smart- he knows a lot about handiwork and certain things I can't wrap my brain around, and I'm more than happy to learn from him. My dad is a proud man- he loves his wife, his daughters, and others in his life. He's responsible, tidy, and is very good at whatever he sets his mind at doing. That being said, my dad is a proud man. He is a staunch conservative and has old-fashioned authority minded values, and can be extremely stubborn and sensitive. He makes communication hard sometimes.
I've picked up dad's love, humor, his knack for history and being good at what he tries, and stubbornness. I don't mind being stubborn because it means I have the sense to back up what I believe in, even if I also have the sense to realize it can be wrong sometimes. Unwillingly, in the sense that he doesn't know it, my dad has taught me to keep an open mind.
My mom is 51 years old. She has a wry sense of humor, a great personality, and is a hard worker. Mom came from a very complicated family situation and has had to work very hard to keep history from repeating itself. The best thing about my mom is her unconditional willingness to try to please the ones she cares most about, my dad being numero uno. My mom works long hours to provide for the family, and suffers for it by being exhausted when she comes home. However, mom is extremely shy and has a tendency to reserve herself around others. She is also stubborn as hell, and very vague in nature when she says things.
I've picked up mom's humor and "hustle" and a bit of her quirkiness as well. However, I've also picked up her shyness and vague tendencies.
I have three sisters: Lorie, Ginny, and Sammi, who are 28, 25, and 21, respectively. Lorie is extremely intelligent, very musically inclined, and overall a chill, fun person. Ginny is also smart and musically inclined, and has a wide variety of tastes when it comes to many things. Sammi is smart, extremely well versed in pop culture-esque things, and is extremely funny. Lorie also has a tendency to overthink things, can be very impatient, and picks her lips. Ginny has a tendency to shy away from personal things, like hugs and whatnot, and can be very sensitive. Sammi has the tendency to take everything the wrong way, and is constantly 'misunderstood'.
I have picked up every single thing from my sisters, just not as strongly as they have it. I'm smart, I adore music, singing AND hearing, I know a lot of things dealing with older pop culture, I love all sorts of clothes, foods, music, movies, books, etc., and I'm generally chill with a good sense of humor. I also overthink things, take things the wrong way, shy away from personal things [though I do love hugs so I don't have it as bad], pick my lips, and am constantly misunderstood. And, in a combination of their [my whole family] 5 political views, I find myself to be of moderate persuasion.
I am the youngest child.
Even with all these influences in my life, the ones I named, anyway, I am still my own person.
I have my OWN views, standards, affinities, loves, hates, wants, and needs. I'm a proud person. I'm open-minded. I love having several close friends, but it is hard for me to take the first step. I can be extremely sensitive if I overthink what someone says and take it the wrong way.
This train of thought stemmed from me stumbling across my old diaryland page, and a lot of my older LJ entries, even ones within the previous two years. I was a STUPID little kid [little being 13I went through a phase where I wanted to make LJ icons, but received little feedback to go along with the staunch rudeness, and tried to be a different type of person to make LJ friends. I went through a phase where I applied to 'rating communities' to see if I was pretty and cool enough for a bunch of rude bitches' standards. I went through a phase where I was obsessed with magic, though not to the point where I was growing my own herbs in my bedroom and dressing in flowy outfits. I had trouble telling my parents minor things for fear of the anger or misunderstanding, and was constantly in trouble because of it, because they always found out. I mouthed off a lot, due to my stubbornness, resulting in more trouble. I often fought with my sisters because I was a lot like them, whether they realized it or not, and that resulted in them becoming annoyed with me, or me being annoyed with them. I had and still have poor self-confidence, because I hadn't and haven't realized something until now, that I am and was a beautiful person with a good heart, sense of humor, and most importantly, a good head on my shoulders. I say things that are sometimes pretty dumb, but I make up for it with many more meaningful things. I have a odd body with some pudge, but that doesn't make me any less pretty or genial or unworthy. I'm sometimes overly abrasive, which has led me to say unkind things or judge my friends, and I'm sorry for that, but it happened. I'm also overly trusting and forgiving, which resulted in me once having and still having friends who don't really deserve the title, but has also resulted in me having some friends that will remain close to me and serve as fond memories for the future. My family is loud, quirky, and sometimes obnoxious, but I'm proud of it and I wouldn't trade any of them in a million years. I'm decent at most things I try, and I'm very thankful to be able to do the things that I do, because as of right now I'm healthy and functioning.
I deleted all of those Diaryland entries. I couldn't spell that great all of the time, my entries were things dealing with stupid poems, what I ate for lunch, and words like 'hooker biotch.' Bitch. Bitch. I can say that and realize that I'm not flawless and sometimes someone is going to be a bitch, and it's ok to say that and type that without being like "OMG I'M SUCHHH A BAD PERSON!!111!!!" Sure, I should've kept the entries for posterity or something like that, but just reading them today and purging them helped me a lot.
I'm just Jamie. I come with baggage, just like anyone else.
And you can go to hell if you can't be mature enough to accept that.