At an impasse
I feel I am stuck at an impasse and im not sure why. This is mainly a writing therapy exercise as I don't have anyone to confide in at the moment. Everyone is out this weekend for the holiday. Well everyone save for my roommate and myself.
I have every reason to be happy at the moment so why am I feeling this way? Lacking anything else to do im just going to write down my thoughts until I come across something.
Lets start with reasons I have to be happy.
- I'm seeing Erin tomorrow.
- AMRE ends in less than a week
- By this time next week I'll be living at home in Maryland
- For once im not stressed about my IS
- Monetarily I have little to worry about, AMRE has done me well.
- I am going into what should be an amazing semester at school.
- Circle K, The Gallows and working at the Theatre are all things to look forward to.
- After seven roommates I will have that single I've been after since freshman year.
- I have rediscovered who I am and what it is I want to become.
If I look back about three years and think about where I wanted to be in life, this is it.
Signs that somethings up
- For the past month and a half my hormones have been out of whack
- Lately I have been unable to concentrate on tasks
- I have been having mood swings from day to day
- Generally lost motivation to plan things out
I know it's not dietary, I've been eating balanced meals and a good amount of fruit. I have been fighting off a mild somethingorother but I don't think the way I am feeling now is related.
Perhaps it's just that I'm longing for companionship, not in terms of being in a relationship but in terms of just having friends to talk to and hang out with. Lisa B's hasn't been around, Jeff just got here and is out this weekend, Lisa May should be around but I haven't been able to get in touch with her. Josh is busy with all his reslife stuff. The only time I can see Erin is during brief visits over the weekend.
Yes I think this does have a lot to do with it, it's beginning to make sense now. These past few weekends I have been out with various people. In fact nearly every weekend I have been out doing something, with the exception of this weekend. It's a Saturday night and im sitting in my room with one else around save for a roommate who's personality I can barely tolerate.
The weekends have been my escape and this weekend I have nowhere to run to. So whats the resolution? Simply, to wait. Tomorrow night im taking the bus into Columbus, crashing at a friends place and spending Monday with Erin. Yet one more crazy adventure before I head home.
Life isn't so bad, like I said I have ever reason to be happy right now. In the short term things will only get better, and in the long run - well who could ask for anything more.
I have every reason to be happy at the moment so why am I feeling this way? Lacking anything else to do im just going to write down my thoughts until I come across something.
Lets start with reasons I have to be happy.
- I'm seeing Erin tomorrow.
- AMRE ends in less than a week
- By this time next week I'll be living at home in Maryland
- For once im not stressed about my IS
- Monetarily I have little to worry about, AMRE has done me well.
- I am going into what should be an amazing semester at school.
- Circle K, The Gallows and working at the Theatre are all things to look forward to.
- After seven roommates I will have that single I've been after since freshman year.
- I have rediscovered who I am and what it is I want to become.
If I look back about three years and think about where I wanted to be in life, this is it.
Signs that somethings up
- For the past month and a half my hormones have been out of whack
- Lately I have been unable to concentrate on tasks
- I have been having mood swings from day to day
- Generally lost motivation to plan things out
I know it's not dietary, I've been eating balanced meals and a good amount of fruit. I have been fighting off a mild somethingorother but I don't think the way I am feeling now is related.
Perhaps it's just that I'm longing for companionship, not in terms of being in a relationship but in terms of just having friends to talk to and hang out with. Lisa B's hasn't been around, Jeff just got here and is out this weekend, Lisa May should be around but I haven't been able to get in touch with her. Josh is busy with all his reslife stuff. The only time I can see Erin is during brief visits over the weekend.
Yes I think this does have a lot to do with it, it's beginning to make sense now. These past few weekends I have been out with various people. In fact nearly every weekend I have been out doing something, with the exception of this weekend. It's a Saturday night and im sitting in my room with one else around save for a roommate who's personality I can barely tolerate.
The weekends have been my escape and this weekend I have nowhere to run to. So whats the resolution? Simply, to wait. Tomorrow night im taking the bus into Columbus, crashing at a friends place and spending Monday with Erin. Yet one more crazy adventure before I head home.
Life isn't so bad, like I said I have ever reason to be happy right now. In the short term things will only get better, and in the long run - well who could ask for anything more.