second half of senior year
So now applying to college was finally over! Thank God!- now just waiting for the results. After the christmas season Best Buy hired me to keep working throughout the year so I started working during school days and on weekends. Sometimes it was boring, but I still enjoyed it. I enjoyed actually making money and It made me not feel lazy, especially because Lauren wasn't working so I felt like I was better than her. Haha. This was also when I stopped talking to Lauren for 3 months, explanation: So, there was this guy kevin who I worked with and he gave me his number because he wanted to hang out sometime. I had it for a while before I actually called him because I didn't think he was that hot, but he was kind of cute in a dork-ish way. One night my friends and I were all hanging out at my house in my basement, where we always hung out, and Kevin wanted to know what I was doing that night, so I invited him and his friend over. Lauren came over too. So, I thought that this kid liked me, but by the end of the night him and Lauren were flirting with each other, of course, no surprise there. And as he was leaving Lauren gave him her number, he didn't even ask for it, she just told him that he should call her and she gave him her number. He didn't even give me a hug good bye or anything. This was pretty much by breaking point. I had about a few good years of anger inside of me towards Lauren, mostly because anyone, guy or girl, that I talk to first and make friends with she has to butt in and give them her number and make sure they become friends with her. But she can't make friends on her own, like she only had 2 good friends from her high school, she just had to steal all of my friends. It was very annoying. So I finally had it and flipped out. I actually didn't tell her how mad I was though, I just stopped talking to her. Again, I had bad communication skills. Now I realized that every time she did something that annoyed me I should have told her instead of letting it build up inside of me and then finally explode after one little thing happened. But I was learning. At this same time I was also talking to another guy, Matt, at work. He worked in the geek squad and I first noticed him before we ever talked, I walked by the geek squad area a few times and thought he was really cute, but thought he would never actually talk to me or like me. However, one day he bought candy for lunch break and came to my register, I remember he tried to crack at a joke, I thought it was funny. I was really shy and didn't know what to say to him, so I didn't say much. He came back the next day and did this for about a week. Then for some reason I mentioned that there was something wrong with my dell DJ and he said to bring it in so he could look at it. So I did. While I was waiting there for him to fix it we kept talking about ourselves and gave a proper introduction and so on. We both admitted that we thought each other was cute, but was too shy to say something. This taught me to be more confident in myself because someone who I never thought would even notice me, thought I was really cute. After he realized he couldn't fix my dell Dj he asked for my number. We then started dating. So at the same I got mad at Lauren, I started dating Matt, so I really didn't care if I talked to her because I had Matt to hang out with. Since I didn't tell Lauren I was mad she actually didn't realize it for a while till someone else brought it up and then she tried calling for a while, but I just ignored the calls. I had a very good relationship with Matt in the beginning, we were a lot alike and I really liked him. He was also the nicest guy ever. When I met him, his mom was in the hospital though, and after about a week of officially going out, his mom passed away. I was in Vermont snowboarding with my parents and the Fishers when I got the call. I felt horrible and we left our trip early so I could be there for him. He appreciated it very much. It was probably the hardest thing I ever had to go through. Actually in the beginning of junior year Kasia's dad died and I helped her through that, so I had some experience with this. With Kasia I basically just tried to make her laugh whenever possible and not make her think about her dad. It worked pretty well. With Matt I just let him know I was there for him and that I really cared about him. After a week or so he told me he wouldn't have been able to get through the situation without me. I felt honored. I spent a lot of time with him. Basically everyday after school I either worked or I went over Matt's house. By this time I was so sick of school I really didn't care about my grades anymore, it was pretty bad senioritis. However I would have made honor roll all 4 years every quarter if it wasn't for that last semester my senior year- I got a D in english. I didn't realized how much I cared until I cried for a while, I worked so hard and at the end I gave up. I still regret that, but I don't regret working or hanging with Matt, I could have managed every thing fine, I just decided to be lazy. So besides that I made honor roll every quarter of high school, which I am very proud of. Acceptance letters started coming in and I said right from the beginning that I was not going to have a boyfriend going into college, so Matt knew this. He said that was fine as long as we had an awesome summer together. So we had this agreement. I got into every school, so my best options were Boson University, The College of New Jersey, and Villanova. I didn't want to go to Villanova because my brother went there and the only reason I thought about TCNJ was because I was going out with Matt, so wanted to be close to him. I told myself over and over again that I did not want a boy to influence my decision about college because I heard so many stories about girls and guys following their significant others to college and then they would break up and hate the school. I did not want that to happen to me. I chose Boston University because that's where I always wanted to go, especially for snowboarding... Then we had our senior trip in Disney World! Where dreams really do come true. The trip was really a great time. I loved those four days so much. It was an amazing time for me. I roomed with Jen, Liz, and Danielle. We also usually hung out with Caitie Car and sometimes Rachel, Shane or Kasia. It was just a great time to bond with everyone and made some friendships stronger. Moorestown's high school was also there, but this was when I was still mad at Lauren. She came over to talk to some of the guys from my school, who I introduced her to, which just proved how boy crazy she was and how she had to be better friends with my friends. It wasn't that she actually liked the guys, she just had to prove that she could get them to like her and prove she was cuter. I guess that made her feel better or something. It was like she was always competing with me, but I didn't know about the competition. I was not a very competitive person, I just wanted to have my own friends. Soon after the trip she did it again. My boss, Chris, was having a party but I couldn't go for some reason and I told her about it, so she went into the store and gave him her number because she wanted to get invited. I was so freaking mad! Luckily, he said that he wouldn't have invited her without me going, which I thanked him for. That's what a good friend would do. You just don't invite yourself to things. After this I finally called and explained why I was so mad. We talked and I got the courage to apologize for not telling her in the beginning. It took me a while because again I didn't have good communication skills. I said I was sorry and explained my reasoning because she didn't even fully understand. She apologized too and said she would stop flirting so much. She basically had to stop flirting though because at this time she started to become more serious with Glenn and they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Then we hung out and acted like nothing was wrong. We were back to our normal friendship... So with Matt, things started to get boring. He didn't drink because he got really sick one time and never wanted to do it again, however, I just started drinking the year before and I didn't do it that often, so I was just getting into the whole thing so it was exciting to me. Chris, my boss, kept having parties at his apartment and Matt would let me go and I promised I wasn't cheating. I never did cheat on him. They were really fun and I wanted to keep hanging out with him. I knew Chris wasn't interested that much in me as a girlfriend, but we were good friends. We would all go to those 7am Best Buy meetings hung over together. Those were good times. Then I finally met his roommate Shane after about a few months of hanging out at his apartment. That first night I met him we were beer pong partners by random chance and I thought he was really cool. I think that night made me realize how bored I was with Matt. Before I even knew Shane liked me, I broke up with Matt because I explained I was too bored and I wanted to experience the party life some more without having to cheat on him. I broke up with him 2 days before prom and he was devastated, I felt really bad but I didn't want my prom to be boring. I invited Chris because I knew he would make it fun. It was the first time I did something for myself and told my feelings and communicated clearly with someone. I wasn't ready for that serious of a relationship with Matt, he just didn't have that much fun and I needed someone to entertain me. My mom explained that it was probably because his mom died and he was still recovering, I don't know if that's selfish of me, but I didn't want that to bring me down also. I realized that two quiet people don't work well together. I always did what other people wanted me to do and even If I didn't want to do that I would give in because I felt bad, so I was proud of myself for saying how I truly felt and doing exactly what I wanted to do. The prom ended up being really fun and I'm glad Chris came on such last minute notice. After that Shane started working at the geek squad( Matt quit a while go) so we talked at work too and I found out he had a little crush on me. I kind of liked him too. So we started hanging out, but I always kept that I was going to college soon in the back of my head. This was right at the end of the school year now. That pretty much sums up the second half of senior year: going out with matt, senior trip, working at best buy (not playing lacrosse), prom with chris, and then meeting shane, teaching Gill's class, and hanging in the court yard.