Never doing Hospitals again....

[tennis_no_ko]

Fuck. That was such a bad decision. I’m never visiting childrens’ wards again in public

Comments

[kobanemperor]

It wasn't a horrible idea. It was very selfless of you. Those kids are probably overjoyed that you're there.

And there is nothing wrong with crying.

[tennis_no_ko]

I just....I feel so helpless. I feel like I'm back there in that bed hooked up to those damned UV lines again. Maybe it was selfless, but I feel like crap. I feel so useless, because there wasn't even some miracle cure for me that might help them. It was just sheer luck that I got better.

Maybe there isn't...but it makes me feel weak.

[kobanemperor]

You are not weak, Seiichi. Far from it.

[tennis_no_ko]

...it sure feels like it, sometimes....

[kobanemperor]

And even if you are sometimes, there is nothing wrong with that.

[tennis_no_ko]

...I suppose you're right.

[Screened]
How...how did you deal with it? It's all very well when you're ill yourself, but how did you keep somewhat optimistic from the outside? It's so difficult....

[kobanemperor]

[Screened]

As if you don't remember me crying at your bedside, Seiichi.

I just have faith. Faith in my own strength and will to hold it in until I'm in a place I know I can vent. Give yourself a place you can vent in afterwards, and you can face the rest of the day.

[Screened]

[tennis_no_ko]

Only once though. Much to my happiness. You have no idea how panicked I got when that happened.

....this is stupid of me, sitting here and wallowing in the supplies closet. I'm sorry for being a burden. I'll...do my best to keep smiling until I can get home.

[Screened]

[kobanemperor]

I cried more away from you.

You aren't stupid, Seiichi, and you aren't a burden. I just know you want to seem strong.

[Screened]

[tennis_no_ko]

...that doesn't make me feel much better :/

And I am pretty stupid for wallowing for so long. After I told you not to do it a while back. And...I don't want to seem strong. I want to be strong.