#041 (Day...eh...) [Automatically filtered from Joshua, Aion and Jenai]
...I guess there's no reason to count the days now, is there? There's nothing I'm counting down to, trying to delay. Mm...yeah. It will just make the time seem longer if I keep track of it.
I think I'm doing better lately...I'm certainly sleeping better. I thought for sure the nightmares would never stop, but...I think I'm still having them, but they're better lately. I'm not waking up in the middle of the night. It's probably because of Rosette being there, isn't it? Something about having her next to me when I sleep...even though she isn't warm anymore, having that contact with her for so long is comforting. Having my arms around her...it's the only time I know, really know, that she's completely safe. That she won't go anywhere as long as I keep a hold on her. ...I wish it was that easy, to protect her...it's stupid that the only time I feel that way is when we're sleeping together. I should be able to protect her all the time.
I shouldn't...still feel like this. I really don't deserve it, after all I've done. I really shouldn't love her so much. I need to help her and watch over her. I can't let any feelings get in the way.
Rosette, I'm sorry. I really am an idiot sometimes.
But I'm glad you're still here to call me that.
Man...I've been feeling so tired lately. I forgot how draining it felt, not having a contractor. Not that I'd tell Rosette that. I don't want her to worry. If I'm careful I should have enough energy for a while. I'll protect her as long as I can. ...Honestly, dying might not be so bad, in the end. I've lived a really long time already, compared to humans. And if I die, I'll be able to stay here with Rosette, right?
Unless I make a trade...by rights....I've lived so much longer than her, I should. But what do I have to trade? My life, maybe? Ah, but...no, she wouldn't be happy unless Joshua was alive, too. So I need to give something else. My abilities? Would that be enough if I couldn't use them anyway? M-maybe...my braid? It's sort of important to me, since it's something Rosette and I do, so it might be worth enough. Or..........maybe my memories of something...they'd probably ask for memories of Mary. That would hurt, but...I could do it. For her.
I guess I should make an entry that isn't private, right? Let's see....what should I...I guess I should let everyone know we're okay....
W-Wait. This isn't private. Oh gosh, that was close! I could've let everyone see this! Let's see, how do I make this private...if I hit this button, then type in this code to make it unhackable...
I-it's not working?! Wait--WHAT, NO, DON'T POST--
((OOC: Obviously very affected. XD And yes...Rosette and Chrono have been sleeping together the last few days. But not in that way, it's actually more innocent that it sounds.))
I think I'm doing better lately...I'm certainly sleeping better. I thought for sure the nightmares would never stop, but...I think I'm still having them, but they're better lately. I'm not waking up in the middle of the night. It's probably because of Rosette being there, isn't it? Something about having her next to me when I sleep...even though she isn't warm anymore, having that contact with her for so long is comforting. Having my arms around her...it's the only time I know, really know, that she's completely safe. That she won't go anywhere as long as I keep a hold on her. ...I wish it was that easy, to protect her...it's stupid that the only time I feel that way is when we're sleeping together. I should be able to protect her all the time.
I shouldn't...still feel like this. I really don't deserve it, after all I've done. I really shouldn't love her so much. I need to help her and watch over her. I can't let any feelings get in the way.
Rosette, I'm sorry. I really am an idiot sometimes.
But I'm glad you're still here to call me that.
Man...I've been feeling so tired lately. I forgot how draining it felt, not having a contractor. Not that I'd tell Rosette that. I don't want her to worry. If I'm careful I should have enough energy for a while. I'll protect her as long as I can. ...Honestly, dying might not be so bad, in the end. I've lived a really long time already, compared to humans. And if I die, I'll be able to stay here with Rosette, right?
Unless I make a trade...by rights....I've lived so much longer than her, I should. But what do I have to trade? My life, maybe? Ah, but...no, she wouldn't be happy unless Joshua was alive, too. So I need to give something else. My abilities? Would that be enough if I couldn't use them anyway? M-maybe...my braid? It's sort of important to me, since it's something Rosette and I do, so it might be worth enough. Or..........maybe my memories of something...they'd probably ask for memories of Mary. That would hurt, but...I could do it. For her.
I guess I should make an entry that isn't private, right? Let's see....what should I...I guess I should let everyone know we're okay....
W-Wait. This isn't private. Oh gosh, that was close! I could've let everyone see this! Let's see, how do I make this private...if I hit this button, then type in this code to make it unhackable...
I-it's not working?! Wait--WHAT, NO, DON'T POST--
((OOC: Obviously very affected. XD And yes...Rosette and Chrono have been sleeping together the last few days. But not in that way, it's actually more innocent that it sounds.))