RP log - Eiji, Oishi
Date: Today (Wednesday evening)
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The bittersweet Golden Pair good-bye log. The song used is by "Last Kiss" by Tampopo, from the Mahoutsushi Orphen anime series - check it here. ETA: Changed the Youtube link for a download one with the full song. ;3
"I had a great time this afternoon... I can't thank you enough, Oishi-kun."
"It's no problem, Hirose-san," Oishi replied gently to the sweet-faced girl with glasses walking next to him and towards the closest train station. Shizuka Hirose was the niece of Mariko-sensei, and despite being a human she didn't seem to mind his mutancy, or that was his impression after their sort-of friendly date. They went to the famous Aquarium in Ikebukuro, ate ramen, stayed at the Observatory and generally had a good time...
Still, they seemed to tacitally aknowledge that this was just a one-time date and nothing else. They most likely would just call each other some times and maybe hang out as friends, but anything romantic would be out of the question. There was nothing wrong with it, though - Oishi and Shizuka just clicked better as good friends, and Oishi knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to...
Well, let's be honest - Oishi didn't want to use her to forget Eiji.
Oishi's eyes darkened slightly as he thought of the person he still wanted to see again, at least once. But what would he tell him? "I'm still sorry for not doing anything to save you from yourself...?" "What did you use my memories for during the times we've been apart...?" "Why did you just run away when I needed you the most after all I did for you...?"
"... Are you well, Oishi-kun?"
Oishi blinked at the sound of his date's voice. She was standing in front of him, looking at him with worry in her hazel eyes; Oishi felt guilty for being so selfish and forget that Shizuka didn't know anything and didn't have to feel burdened by his own sadness.
"I'm... I'm tired. Sorry, Hirose-san," he murmured, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "But don't worry. I'll be fine when I get home."
Shizuka didn't seem convinced, but she accepted the explanation for the time being. "I... I'll take your word for it, Oishi-kun. Please take care, and see you later..."
She smiled a little sadly and tiptoed to place a gentle, slightly sad kiss on Oishi's lips. He kissed her back briefly and smiled back when they parted.
"I will. And I'll call you later... Take care as well."
The girl nodded and turned, walking towards the station; Oishi looked at her retreating back until she disappeared among the crowd...
"I'm sorry, Hirose-san... Eiji... I..."
With a bittersweet smile on his lips, Oishi took off. Kite and Natsuki would most surely ask how it went, but he didn't really know what he'd say without making himself look foolish.
It wasn't like Eiji not to be looking where he was going, and he didn't usually make a habit of running into people. It was just that those kittens in the petshop window looked so cute! Eiji grinned, waving at them as they pawed the window. "Hoi, hoi, don't scratch the glass, nya, it's not good for your little claws!" he said, tapping the glass with a grin.
He backed away, eyes on the kittens, and almost collided into someone coming the other way. "Whoa!" Eiji said, managing to skirt the other person in the nick of time. "Sorry, nya, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay? Didn't hurt--"
His words cut off as he realized it was Oishi.
Oishi was so taken by surprise that he almost fell to the ground when, just after Shizuka had left, someone bumped into him. Well, he had been so out of it that even the smallest distraction could've been quite disastrous right then, but even then, it was something he couldn't really afford. Wasn't he already a grown up, and even if he was still a teen, didn't he go through stuff that lots of other teenagers had not lived?
He looked into the other person's eyes, trying to apologize for his distraction. But he recognized the boy, and simply couldn't bring himself to say anything but his name.
"... Eiji..."
"Oishi," Eiji said, backing up. This was awkward--he'd been avoiding Oishi so long it would be really difficult to run. So Eiji did the only other thing he knew how to do. He turned his powers on and grinned as he put his happiness on full blast.
"Hoi, Oishi! It's been so long--I haven't seen you forever! We need to go have some cake, nya. You should tell me about everything!"
Oishi attempted to resist the whole "fake happy feelings" blast that filled him when Eiji spoke, yet he knew such empathy was almost impossible to fight back. Not to mention, if he could play his cards well, maybe he could get at least he answers he wanted from Eiji...
"Well...," he said, smiling and managing to recover a little, "I don't think I have any reason to refuse, Eiji. Can't say I'm in the mood for cake, but maybe a good juice will do the trick."
"Okay," Eiji said, still grinning. He couldn't be sure if Oishi bought the act, but powers were good for something, right? "Here, there's a nice cafe down the street. They used to sell juice AND cake. Maybe they're open now, nya."
It was indeed open, and they settled down after giving the waitress their orders. "Oishi looks a lot better," Eiji said, eyeing Oishi carefully. Indeed, the healer looked great. Though Eiji wasn't sure he could tell, considering how long it had been since he last saw him, and considering how they'd parted under less than auspicious circumstances last time.
"... Do I?" Oishi asked quietly, then smiled a little more brightly. "Maybe all the things of all kinds I've gone through have paid off, Eiji."
The scars on his back and arms marking the evolution of his powers and the payment of his debt with Kaidoh, how he had become stronger in the mental and emotional sense... well, that was quite the part of the process of becoming an adult, which was so special in his case. But he still felt there was a huge burden on him in what regarded his first love, Kikumaru Eiji, and maybe this was the chance to wrap all these loose ends.
If he knew what to tell Eiji and how to finish the deal properly, that is.
"Yeah," Eiji said. "You do." Oishi was getting quiet--was Eiji's power not working properly? He mentally checked, and boosted his mental levers as high as they would go. The people in the next booth straightened, bright smiles on their faces, and when the waitress set down their order, she had a radiant smile on her face too, but Eiji didn't notice--he was too busy watching Oishi's face. "Oishi," he said, "You grew up, nya." While Eiji was still stuck.
Stuck in the HFC, stuck in life, stuck in training ...
Nothing he was going to tell Oishi about, though. "Ne, Oishi," he said instead.
It was hard to concentrate, feeling the happiness practically being force-fed to him by Eiji. He desperately wanted to focus on what he wanted to say (Did I really grow up or you're just saying that to look better in front of me? , What happened to you when I was gone?, Do I still love you, or is it just guilt upon not being able to help you...?), but it was hard; everyone was laughing and beaming, Eiji was at the center of this red-fluffy-feeling that brought him a taste of saccarine to his mouth...
"... Eiji... is that true?," he managed to say, a smile coming to his lips (though he wasn't sure if it was a true smile or it came after all the happy feeling Eiji was pumping him with).
"Of course, Oishi," Eiji said. He grinned at Oishi, a big smile as wide as his face and as empty as his eyes. "I'm glad to see you're okay. It makes it easier for me to go away, nya!"
It makes it easier for me to go away, nya!
Oishi held on that phrase Eiji had just say, forcing himself to focus on what he thought the other *truly* intended and *not* on what he was trying to use as a shield. Because this might be his last chance *ever* to straighten things out, so he didn't want to lie at Eiji...
Oishi was seeing too much. Eiji looked away, breaking eye contact.
Oishi placed his hands at each side of Eiji's face, gently but firmly making him look back at him. "Eiji... Don't do that. Whether to you, to me, or both of us.
He stared at the other very seriously, eyes hard, but his voice sounding gentle and sad. "Don't look away. Don't lie. I've grown enough to see such things, it seems."
"Oishi ..." It was difficult to turn his head away when Oishi looked at him like that, and Eiji stared into Oishi's eyes. He closed his own. "Don't look at me with eyes like that, Oishi. Don't sound so sad. You should be happy, nya." Why weren't his powers working? He felt tired and strained--he wasn't used to putting his powers on full blast like this, and it was beginning to show.
"I..." Oishi was panting real hard now; keeping Eiji's empathy at bay was extremely hard, and certainly he would've have been able to do it if he didn't room with the empath for almost a year.
"Eiji, don't make me feel things I don't want to, please...," he murmured, feeling almost breathless with the physical strain and effort it meant for him. "They'll come back later and I'll feel worse. And the same will go to you."
"You shouldn't be thinking about things like that, Oishi," Eiji said. His grip on his power was fading fast--he was using too much too quickly, and it was beginning to hurt. If he kept this up he'd hurt both himself and Oishi--that thought, and nothing else, led him to finally pull the mental switch down.
"Fine," Eiji said, huffily. "No powers."
"Why shouldn't I?," Oishi murmured when Eiji pulled the empathy lever down and he was finally free to feel and think whatever he truly had in his mind and heart. There were still remains of fake sugar taste in his tongue and lips, but it was fading quickly.
"Eiji, I'm asking again," he continued, still kind yet determined to not lie. "Why don't I have right to feel that way? I've grown, you said, but it wasn't exactly a way paved with roses. And it's valid to not be all sunshine and hearts."
"Because," Eiji said, "Oishi should be happy. Oishi deserves to be happy." He pouted, and pulled away from Oishi's hands. "Stop treating me like a child. I'm younger, but I'm not stupid, nya."
"And yet you're the one who wants me to be happy all the time, whether it's possible or not." Oishi let the other pull away, but his eyes were still fixed on Eiji's face. "Specially after how I wasn't able to be with you like I promised to, and how that still haunts all of us who cared for you."
"We're not talking about that," Eiji said promptly, giving Oishi a warning glare as he wagged his finger before Oishi's nose. "Or I'm leaving, hoi." He didn't want to talk about it at all. "Oishi's back, and that's it."
But Oishi's hand firmly grabbed Eiji's wrist, and a faint red glow surrounded it. He wasn't actually using his draining energy, but was ready to summon it if it was needed to keep Eiji from doing anything stupid.
"If you want to be treated as an adult, Eiji," he said softly, "please act like one. Running away won't work... It didn't for me."
"I'm not running away from anything," Eiji said hotly, glaring at Oishi. "I just don't want to talk about it. That's all, okay? And Oishi should be careful in public, nya," he added, glaring at the red glow. "People can't see mine, but they can see you."
The red light went away immediately, but Oishi kept his hand firmly wrapped around the other's wrist, looking at Eiji right in the eye. "You call 'this' not running away? Trying to make me feel things I don't through your powers and then attempting to shut me up when you're done?"
Oishi shook his head and noticed he was speaking louder, so he dropped his voice to almost a whisper. "I can't accept it, Eiji. I feel I'm being cheated on. Not in the romantic sense, of course, but on how I feel I'm trying to be sincere and honest, yet you're not."
"It's not," Eiji retorted angrily. "I'm trying to make things better, okay? Don't try to boss me around, Oishi. Oishi's not my mother. And I'm not lying." Just not telling the whole truth. As long as they didn't talk about certain things, everything would be fine.
"I'm not bossing you!" Oishi hissed, a flash of anger crossing his eyes and holding himself to not slap Eiji right then. "I'm only telling my own side of the story, how I see things, and how I... I..."
He breathed in deeply, noticing how his self-control was slipping. Thank God it wasn't enough to activate his draining powers or anything by those lines, biting his lip hard to not break down either in tears or in a fit of anger. Eiji didn't deserve that.
"... I don't feel it's making anything better," he whispered, his green eyes feeling a little watery. "Just like I couldn't and I still am paying for it, because I have so many things to say..."
"Oishi's angry," Eiji said, feeling troubled. It would be easy enough to turn on his powers, just a little, enough to take away the edge--he didn't like it when Oishi was mad. So Eiji flipped on his internal switch again, making sure it was a slow, gradual shift of power. He didn't want Oishi to find out. He frowned in concentration, but hopefully Oishi wouldn't notice.
"Don't be mad, Oishi," Eiji said. He reached out for Oishi's hands, holding them, feeling how tense Oishi was. "I never get to see Oishi. Don't ruin this moment, nya."
"Oishi knows." The other whispered, feeling slightly relieved as he took Eiji's hands and laced their fingers together. "I'm sorry. But I've gone through too many changes as a whole... I'm not the same. Whether for good or bad, I can't be the same. And neither are you..."
He lifted a hand to stroke Eiji's face a little more, no matter how much harsher and callused his hands surely felt against the other's cheek, or how the mild burn scars he had in his arms were more noticeable now that they were much closer.
If Eiji saw the scars, he made no mention of them--his eyes were closed and he was trying not to purr. Saeki and the others sometimes petted him, over at the Oshitari mansion, but none of them really knew how to do it like Oishi did. "Nya," Eiji said, only half-hiding his purr.
Then he opened his eyes to see someone at the next table staring and nudging. Eiji pulled away, cheeks flushing. Great--now there'd be people staring throughout their time there. He took a big bite of his strawberry cake, but it was difficult to taste anything.
Smiling a little bitterly to himself, Oishi just let Eiji do it and quietly sipped on his raspberry juice, finding it good yet a little sweet for his taste. He wondered if it was because of the remainings of Eiji's empathy, but it didn't matter anymore.
Eiji toyed with a runaway slice of strawberry. He wasn't sure when he was leaving, but then again, he wasn't sure when he was going to see Oishi again. He didn't want to run into the other any more--Oishi saw too much and asked too many painful questions. Besides, there was no time like the present to tell Oishi the news, was there?
"Ne, Oishi," Eiji said, "I'm going away, nya."
"Eh?" Oishi looked at Eiji again, breathing in deeply again to not lose his temper or leap into conclusions.
"Don't worry, Oishi," Eiji said. When Oishi breathed like that, he was going to get mad unless Eiji explained everything. "I'm just taking a trip."
Oishi nodded quietly. "Are you coming back? I'm not even asking you when or antyhing by those lines... I just want to know if you'll be returning"
"Hoi," Eiji said, grinning. He flashed Oishi a V sign. "Of course, nya. Wouldn't leave Oishi forever, hehe." He wasn't sure when, but he'd be back.
Oishi smiled at that. "I'm not only talking about you coming back to me, Eiji. I think you know who am I referring to as well..." He brifly thought of the last time he had visited the Kikumaru family, some months ago; the sight of Eiji's mother crying and Ayu giving him a Valentines chocolate in hopes he'd give it to Eiji someday, never ever left his memories.
Oh. Eiji's face sombered a little, but he nodded. "Hoi, I know, I know." Maybe he'd go to see them someday.
Oishi's eyes hardened a little more. "Make sure it's not too late when you go for it it...," but then he noticed he was bossing the other around, which would surely bring disaster.
So, he attempted to smile at Eiji. "Sorry about that. Old habits are hard to part ways with... and maybe we should go. You need to get ready and I've got to work tomorrow early."
Eiji was only too happy to agree to that suggestion as he swallowed the last of his cake. "Okay," he said, standing. "Come on, Oishi." He headed outside quickly, waiting at the doorway merely to be polite. Inside, he was itching to leave.
He followed the other promptly and silently, grabbing him by the wrist, waling towards the nearest alley - but in a rather loose grip, which Eiji could break if he wanted to. Telling truths, after the incident with Eiji's powers and his burst of temper, Oishi also was itching to get away.
Eiji looked back, first at Oishi's hand on his wrist, then up at Oishi's face. "Oishi?" he asked uncertainly. Was Oishi going to zap him or something now?
But Oishi didn't do anything like that. He just stood there at the alley for a moment, looking at the younger man, and then he wrapped his arms around Eiji, holding him. Who knew if he'd get another chance to do it - and even if he did, he didn't want to let this one go.
Instead of speaking, he brought his hand up and scratched him behind his nape.
"Oishi ..." He hadn't been held like this--or scritched like this--for ages, and Eiji didn't care if they were in public at the moment. Being publicly gay was safer than being publicly exposed as a mutant, anyway. So Eiji hugged back, pressing close. "I'm going to miss you, Oishi," he mumbled into Oishi's shoulder.
Oishi was almost sure Eiji understood at least the core of what he was trying to tell (You were my first love, Eiji, so I'll always remember you - Please take care of yourself and be fine - I will go on, trust me, I will be strong and not only for you...), so he nuzzled his friend a little, holding him a little tighter in his arms, rubbing his back gently.
"I will, too..."
He then placed his hand behind Eiji's nape and pressed his lips against the other's.
One moment Eiji was being hugged and his nape scractched. The next, Oishi was kissing him. It had been so long since Oishi'd kissed him Eiji couldn't respond, his brain taking a while to process it. Then he kissed back, lingering a moment before pulling away. His hand covered his mouth, though Eiji wasn't sure why. Did he want to make sure no one could see his mouth now that Oishi had kissed him? Was he just protecting it for as long as possible?
He had to go before he changed his mind about leaving. "Bye, Oishi," Eiji said, backing away, eyes wide.
When this happened, Oishi thought for a second that he could cry, or complain, or attempt to stop Eiji again. But nothing came. His eyes were dry, his hands didn't shake even a little bit, and his heartbeat was barely a notch quicker than normal...
He wasn't too sure if Eiji would effectively return. He didn't say half the things he had in his mind for the other, either! But somehow, he didn't feel like he would die of pain after that. It would be useless, after all, and Oishi wanted to go on - whether it was with or without Eiji.
//Only on my lips, stop it
Your warmth stayed forever on my lips
The tender you...//
"Good-bye, Eiji," he murmured, and humming the lyrics of the old pop song that he could hear as a sort-of background music coming from the nearby music store, Oishi stretched and quietly walked back home.
// But why, only on my lips...?
No matter how hard I try to forget
The last of you remains on my lips//
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The bittersweet Golden Pair good-bye log. The song used is by "Last Kiss" by Tampopo, from the Mahoutsushi Orphen anime series - check it here. ETA: Changed the Youtube link for a download one with the full song. ;3
"I had a great time this afternoon... I can't thank you enough, Oishi-kun."
"It's no problem, Hirose-san," Oishi replied gently to the sweet-faced girl with glasses walking next to him and towards the closest train station. Shizuka Hirose was the niece of Mariko-sensei, and despite being a human she didn't seem to mind his mutancy, or that was his impression after their sort-of friendly date. They went to the famous Aquarium in Ikebukuro, ate ramen, stayed at the Observatory and generally had a good time...
Still, they seemed to tacitally aknowledge that this was just a one-time date and nothing else. They most likely would just call each other some times and maybe hang out as friends, but anything romantic would be out of the question. There was nothing wrong with it, though - Oishi and Shizuka just clicked better as good friends, and Oishi knew he wouldn't be able to bring himself to...
Well, let's be honest - Oishi didn't want to use her to forget Eiji.
Oishi's eyes darkened slightly as he thought of the person he still wanted to see again, at least once. But what would he tell him? "I'm still sorry for not doing anything to save you from yourself...?" "What did you use my memories for during the times we've been apart...?" "Why did you just run away when I needed you the most after all I did for you...?"
"... Are you well, Oishi-kun?"
Oishi blinked at the sound of his date's voice. She was standing in front of him, looking at him with worry in her hazel eyes; Oishi felt guilty for being so selfish and forget that Shizuka didn't know anything and didn't have to feel burdened by his own sadness.
"I'm... I'm tired. Sorry, Hirose-san," he murmured, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "But don't worry. I'll be fine when I get home."
Shizuka didn't seem convinced, but she accepted the explanation for the time being. "I... I'll take your word for it, Oishi-kun. Please take care, and see you later..."
She smiled a little sadly and tiptoed to place a gentle, slightly sad kiss on Oishi's lips. He kissed her back briefly and smiled back when they parted.
"I will. And I'll call you later... Take care as well."
The girl nodded and turned, walking towards the station; Oishi looked at her retreating back until she disappeared among the crowd...
"I'm sorry, Hirose-san... Eiji... I..."
With a bittersweet smile on his lips, Oishi took off. Kite and Natsuki would most surely ask how it went, but he didn't really know what he'd say without making himself look foolish.
It wasn't like Eiji not to be looking where he was going, and he didn't usually make a habit of running into people. It was just that those kittens in the petshop window looked so cute! Eiji grinned, waving at them as they pawed the window. "Hoi, hoi, don't scratch the glass, nya, it's not good for your little claws!" he said, tapping the glass with a grin.
He backed away, eyes on the kittens, and almost collided into someone coming the other way. "Whoa!" Eiji said, managing to skirt the other person in the nick of time. "Sorry, nya, I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you okay? Didn't hurt--"
His words cut off as he realized it was Oishi.
Oishi was so taken by surprise that he almost fell to the ground when, just after Shizuka had left, someone bumped into him. Well, he had been so out of it that even the smallest distraction could've been quite disastrous right then, but even then, it was something he couldn't really afford. Wasn't he already a grown up, and even if he was still a teen, didn't he go through stuff that lots of other teenagers had not lived?
He looked into the other person's eyes, trying to apologize for his distraction. But he recognized the boy, and simply couldn't bring himself to say anything but his name.
"... Eiji..."
"Oishi," Eiji said, backing up. This was awkward--he'd been avoiding Oishi so long it would be really difficult to run. So Eiji did the only other thing he knew how to do. He turned his powers on and grinned as he put his happiness on full blast.
"Hoi, Oishi! It's been so long--I haven't seen you forever! We need to go have some cake, nya. You should tell me about everything!"
Oishi attempted to resist the whole "fake happy feelings" blast that filled him when Eiji spoke, yet he knew such empathy was almost impossible to fight back. Not to mention, if he could play his cards well, maybe he could get at least he answers he wanted from Eiji...
"Well...," he said, smiling and managing to recover a little, "I don't think I have any reason to refuse, Eiji. Can't say I'm in the mood for cake, but maybe a good juice will do the trick."
"Okay," Eiji said, still grinning. He couldn't be sure if Oishi bought the act, but powers were good for something, right? "Here, there's a nice cafe down the street. They used to sell juice AND cake. Maybe they're open now, nya."
It was indeed open, and they settled down after giving the waitress their orders. "Oishi looks a lot better," Eiji said, eyeing Oishi carefully. Indeed, the healer looked great. Though Eiji wasn't sure he could tell, considering how long it had been since he last saw him, and considering how they'd parted under less than auspicious circumstances last time.
"... Do I?" Oishi asked quietly, then smiled a little more brightly. "Maybe all the things of all kinds I've gone through have paid off, Eiji."
The scars on his back and arms marking the evolution of his powers and the payment of his debt with Kaidoh, how he had become stronger in the mental and emotional sense... well, that was quite the part of the process of becoming an adult, which was so special in his case. But he still felt there was a huge burden on him in what regarded his first love, Kikumaru Eiji, and maybe this was the chance to wrap all these loose ends.
If he knew what to tell Eiji and how to finish the deal properly, that is.
"Yeah," Eiji said. "You do." Oishi was getting quiet--was Eiji's power not working properly? He mentally checked, and boosted his mental levers as high as they would go. The people in the next booth straightened, bright smiles on their faces, and when the waitress set down their order, she had a radiant smile on her face too, but Eiji didn't notice--he was too busy watching Oishi's face. "Oishi," he said, "You grew up, nya." While Eiji was still stuck.
Stuck in the HFC, stuck in life, stuck in training ...
Nothing he was going to tell Oishi about, though. "Ne, Oishi," he said instead.
It was hard to concentrate, feeling the happiness practically being force-fed to him by Eiji. He desperately wanted to focus on what he wanted to say (Did I really grow up or you're just saying that to look better in front of me? , What happened to you when I was gone?, Do I still love you, or is it just guilt upon not being able to help you...?), but it was hard; everyone was laughing and beaming, Eiji was at the center of this red-fluffy-feeling that brought him a taste of saccarine to his mouth...
"... Eiji... is that true?," he managed to say, a smile coming to his lips (though he wasn't sure if it was a true smile or it came after all the happy feeling Eiji was pumping him with).
"Of course, Oishi," Eiji said. He grinned at Oishi, a big smile as wide as his face and as empty as his eyes. "I'm glad to see you're okay. It makes it easier for me to go away, nya!"
It makes it easier for me to go away, nya!
Oishi held on that phrase Eiji had just say, forcing himself to focus on what he thought the other *truly* intended and *not* on what he was trying to use as a shield. Because this might be his last chance *ever* to straighten things out, so he didn't want to lie at Eiji...
Oishi was seeing too much. Eiji looked away, breaking eye contact.
Oishi placed his hands at each side of Eiji's face, gently but firmly making him look back at him. "Eiji... Don't do that. Whether to you, to me, or both of us.
He stared at the other very seriously, eyes hard, but his voice sounding gentle and sad. "Don't look away. Don't lie. I've grown enough to see such things, it seems."
"Oishi ..." It was difficult to turn his head away when Oishi looked at him like that, and Eiji stared into Oishi's eyes. He closed his own. "Don't look at me with eyes like that, Oishi. Don't sound so sad. You should be happy, nya." Why weren't his powers working? He felt tired and strained--he wasn't used to putting his powers on full blast like this, and it was beginning to show.
"I..." Oishi was panting real hard now; keeping Eiji's empathy at bay was extremely hard, and certainly he would've have been able to do it if he didn't room with the empath for almost a year.
"Eiji, don't make me feel things I don't want to, please...," he murmured, feeling almost breathless with the physical strain and effort it meant for him. "They'll come back later and I'll feel worse. And the same will go to you."
"You shouldn't be thinking about things like that, Oishi," Eiji said. His grip on his power was fading fast--he was using too much too quickly, and it was beginning to hurt. If he kept this up he'd hurt both himself and Oishi--that thought, and nothing else, led him to finally pull the mental switch down.
"Fine," Eiji said, huffily. "No powers."
"Why shouldn't I?," Oishi murmured when Eiji pulled the empathy lever down and he was finally free to feel and think whatever he truly had in his mind and heart. There were still remains of fake sugar taste in his tongue and lips, but it was fading quickly.
"Eiji, I'm asking again," he continued, still kind yet determined to not lie. "Why don't I have right to feel that way? I've grown, you said, but it wasn't exactly a way paved with roses. And it's valid to not be all sunshine and hearts."
"Because," Eiji said, "Oishi should be happy. Oishi deserves to be happy." He pouted, and pulled away from Oishi's hands. "Stop treating me like a child. I'm younger, but I'm not stupid, nya."
"And yet you're the one who wants me to be happy all the time, whether it's possible or not." Oishi let the other pull away, but his eyes were still fixed on Eiji's face. "Specially after how I wasn't able to be with you like I promised to, and how that still haunts all of us who cared for you."
"We're not talking about that," Eiji said promptly, giving Oishi a warning glare as he wagged his finger before Oishi's nose. "Or I'm leaving, hoi." He didn't want to talk about it at all. "Oishi's back, and that's it."
But Oishi's hand firmly grabbed Eiji's wrist, and a faint red glow surrounded it. He wasn't actually using his draining energy, but was ready to summon it if it was needed to keep Eiji from doing anything stupid.
"If you want to be treated as an adult, Eiji," he said softly, "please act like one. Running away won't work... It didn't for me."
"I'm not running away from anything," Eiji said hotly, glaring at Oishi. "I just don't want to talk about it. That's all, okay? And Oishi should be careful in public, nya," he added, glaring at the red glow. "People can't see mine, but they can see you."
The red light went away immediately, but Oishi kept his hand firmly wrapped around the other's wrist, looking at Eiji right in the eye. "You call 'this' not running away? Trying to make me feel things I don't through your powers and then attempting to shut me up when you're done?"
Oishi shook his head and noticed he was speaking louder, so he dropped his voice to almost a whisper. "I can't accept it, Eiji. I feel I'm being cheated on. Not in the romantic sense, of course, but on how I feel I'm trying to be sincere and honest, yet you're not."
"It's not," Eiji retorted angrily. "I'm trying to make things better, okay? Don't try to boss me around, Oishi. Oishi's not my mother. And I'm not lying." Just not telling the whole truth. As long as they didn't talk about certain things, everything would be fine.
"I'm not bossing you!" Oishi hissed, a flash of anger crossing his eyes and holding himself to not slap Eiji right then. "I'm only telling my own side of the story, how I see things, and how I... I..."
He breathed in deeply, noticing how his self-control was slipping. Thank God it wasn't enough to activate his draining powers or anything by those lines, biting his lip hard to not break down either in tears or in a fit of anger. Eiji didn't deserve that.
"... I don't feel it's making anything better," he whispered, his green eyes feeling a little watery. "Just like I couldn't and I still am paying for it, because I have so many things to say..."
"Oishi's angry," Eiji said, feeling troubled. It would be easy enough to turn on his powers, just a little, enough to take away the edge--he didn't like it when Oishi was mad. So Eiji flipped on his internal switch again, making sure it was a slow, gradual shift of power. He didn't want Oishi to find out. He frowned in concentration, but hopefully Oishi wouldn't notice.
"Don't be mad, Oishi," Eiji said. He reached out for Oishi's hands, holding them, feeling how tense Oishi was. "I never get to see Oishi. Don't ruin this moment, nya."
"Oishi knows." The other whispered, feeling slightly relieved as he took Eiji's hands and laced their fingers together. "I'm sorry. But I've gone through too many changes as a whole... I'm not the same. Whether for good or bad, I can't be the same. And neither are you..."
He lifted a hand to stroke Eiji's face a little more, no matter how much harsher and callused his hands surely felt against the other's cheek, or how the mild burn scars he had in his arms were more noticeable now that they were much closer.
If Eiji saw the scars, he made no mention of them--his eyes were closed and he was trying not to purr. Saeki and the others sometimes petted him, over at the Oshitari mansion, but none of them really knew how to do it like Oishi did. "Nya," Eiji said, only half-hiding his purr.
Then he opened his eyes to see someone at the next table staring and nudging. Eiji pulled away, cheeks flushing. Great--now there'd be people staring throughout their time there. He took a big bite of his strawberry cake, but it was difficult to taste anything.
Smiling a little bitterly to himself, Oishi just let Eiji do it and quietly sipped on his raspberry juice, finding it good yet a little sweet for his taste. He wondered if it was because of the remainings of Eiji's empathy, but it didn't matter anymore.
Eiji toyed with a runaway slice of strawberry. He wasn't sure when he was leaving, but then again, he wasn't sure when he was going to see Oishi again. He didn't want to run into the other any more--Oishi saw too much and asked too many painful questions. Besides, there was no time like the present to tell Oishi the news, was there?
"Ne, Oishi," Eiji said, "I'm going away, nya."
"Eh?" Oishi looked at Eiji again, breathing in deeply again to not lose his temper or leap into conclusions.
"Don't worry, Oishi," Eiji said. When Oishi breathed like that, he was going to get mad unless Eiji explained everything. "I'm just taking a trip."
Oishi nodded quietly. "Are you coming back? I'm not even asking you when or antyhing by those lines... I just want to know if you'll be returning"
"Hoi," Eiji said, grinning. He flashed Oishi a V sign. "Of course, nya. Wouldn't leave Oishi forever, hehe." He wasn't sure when, but he'd be back.
Oishi smiled at that. "I'm not only talking about you coming back to me, Eiji. I think you know who am I referring to as well..." He brifly thought of the last time he had visited the Kikumaru family, some months ago; the sight of Eiji's mother crying and Ayu giving him a Valentines chocolate in hopes he'd give it to Eiji someday, never ever left his memories.
Oh. Eiji's face sombered a little, but he nodded. "Hoi, I know, I know." Maybe he'd go to see them someday.
Oishi's eyes hardened a little more. "Make sure it's not too late when you go for it it...," but then he noticed he was bossing the other around, which would surely bring disaster.
So, he attempted to smile at Eiji. "Sorry about that. Old habits are hard to part ways with... and maybe we should go. You need to get ready and I've got to work tomorrow early."
Eiji was only too happy to agree to that suggestion as he swallowed the last of his cake. "Okay," he said, standing. "Come on, Oishi." He headed outside quickly, waiting at the doorway merely to be polite. Inside, he was itching to leave.
He followed the other promptly and silently, grabbing him by the wrist, waling towards the nearest alley - but in a rather loose grip, which Eiji could break if he wanted to. Telling truths, after the incident with Eiji's powers and his burst of temper, Oishi also was itching to get away.
Eiji looked back, first at Oishi's hand on his wrist, then up at Oishi's face. "Oishi?" he asked uncertainly. Was Oishi going to zap him or something now?
But Oishi didn't do anything like that. He just stood there at the alley for a moment, looking at the younger man, and then he wrapped his arms around Eiji, holding him. Who knew if he'd get another chance to do it - and even if he did, he didn't want to let this one go.
Instead of speaking, he brought his hand up and scratched him behind his nape.
"Oishi ..." He hadn't been held like this--or scritched like this--for ages, and Eiji didn't care if they were in public at the moment. Being publicly gay was safer than being publicly exposed as a mutant, anyway. So Eiji hugged back, pressing close. "I'm going to miss you, Oishi," he mumbled into Oishi's shoulder.
Oishi was almost sure Eiji understood at least the core of what he was trying to tell (You were my first love, Eiji, so I'll always remember you - Please take care of yourself and be fine - I will go on, trust me, I will be strong and not only for you...), so he nuzzled his friend a little, holding him a little tighter in his arms, rubbing his back gently.
"I will, too..."
He then placed his hand behind Eiji's nape and pressed his lips against the other's.
One moment Eiji was being hugged and his nape scractched. The next, Oishi was kissing him. It had been so long since Oishi'd kissed him Eiji couldn't respond, his brain taking a while to process it. Then he kissed back, lingering a moment before pulling away. His hand covered his mouth, though Eiji wasn't sure why. Did he want to make sure no one could see his mouth now that Oishi had kissed him? Was he just protecting it for as long as possible?
He had to go before he changed his mind about leaving. "Bye, Oishi," Eiji said, backing away, eyes wide.
When this happened, Oishi thought for a second that he could cry, or complain, or attempt to stop Eiji again. But nothing came. His eyes were dry, his hands didn't shake even a little bit, and his heartbeat was barely a notch quicker than normal...
He wasn't too sure if Eiji would effectively return. He didn't say half the things he had in his mind for the other, either! But somehow, he didn't feel like he would die of pain after that. It would be useless, after all, and Oishi wanted to go on - whether it was with or without Eiji.
//Only on my lips, stop it
Your warmth stayed forever on my lips
The tender you...//
"Good-bye, Eiji," he murmured, and humming the lyrics of the old pop song that he could hear as a sort-of background music coming from the nearby music store, Oishi stretched and quietly walked back home.
// But why, only on my lips...?
No matter how hard I try to forget
The last of you remains on my lips//