Log: Talking in the Twilight~

[purple_nfu]

Who: Fuji Syuusuke, Mizuki Hajime
What: Watch Twilight, discuss serious issues, snark, laugh, and realize they just might be friends. Includes cookies, sparkles and revelations.
When: Tuesday, 7th of September
Where: Fuji's room
WARNINGS: PG-13/R for language and subject matter(s). Mentions of sparkling vampires, self-destructiveness, disturbing imagery, Stephanie Meyer, bullying, paedophilia, vampire baseball, violence, traumas, Fuji-Mizuki friendship, and rainbow-farting unicorns.
Note: Our sinceremost apologies for flooding the comm and your friends pages. We're done for a while now, promise.


In the end, he had decided on green tea, two flavors. One plain, one Chai. He had rented all the movies that were out so far and while waiting for Mizuki, he entertained himself with trying to trace the covers, replacing Bella's face with Tezuka's, and Edward's with Ryuuzaki-sensei. Just because he could.

Mizuki had taken over a corner in the kitchens and made some lovely chocolate treats. Of course they were lovely; after all, he had made them. He now had two bowls in tow, one rather precariously balanced atop the other, one hiding cookies, the other some muffins. Taking one last glance at the bowls to make sure they weren't about to fall on him, he reached his other hand to knock on Fuji's door.

Fuji looked up from his artistic adventures and smiled. "Come in~"

Mizuki tried the door, finding it unlocked. Pushing it open, he walked into the room carrying his precious load, then used his foot to shut the door behind himself so as to have two hands to secure the bowls with. "...What are you doing?" he asked, more amused than anything.

"Drawing~" Fuji held up the traces proudly, an amused glint in his eyes. "What do you think?" He got up, starting to clean up a place for Mizuki to sit in front of the TV.

Mizuki's lips twitched. "There is a certain... inspiredness to them," he admitted. "Though I have to admit they rather scare me."

Fuji giggled and put the drawing away. "I was wondering if I should print it up... But that wouldn't be fair to Sensei." What about Tezuka then?

"Indeed." A solemn nod. "She could do so much better than Tezuka."

"Any candidates?" Smile~

"This camp has Echizen dating a data player and Atobe dating into slums. I won't even try to understand the way people's minds work anymore."

Fuji's face told quite clearly that he didn't believe a word of what Mizuki said. He chuckled, opening the DVD case and pulled out the Twilight DVD. "Lets start with this, shall we? Oh... How've you been, by the way?" Small talk, small talk.

"Good enough. Trying to gather data about this place. The results have been... varying." He shrugged as he settled the bowls on the tabletop and took off the plates shielding them, then picked up a cookie and bit into it.

"Oh, these look lovely," Fuji cooed, making starry eyes at the delights. "Now, what have you found out?"
"Beyond the obvious points like locations and rules? Not much. There have apparently been some tournaments, but nobody seems to recall the results. There was also some talk about a pro program, and about some violent incident last year, but nobody seems very forthcoming with the details. It's really quite frustrating..."

Fuji had his back turned, as he was busy feeding the DVD to the player, but as Mizuki mentioned the 'violent incident', his shoudlers stiffened and he paused for maybe a second or more. "Oh, really? Too bad."

"...You were involved." Sadly, Fuji, when talking with a data player, you should always assume they are watching. And take notice.

He turned, only so much that he could glance over his shoulder and focus on Mizuki, giving a ghost of a smile. "Yes."

"...What happened?"

"Are you sure we should talk about it? Fun night, fun night, nee?"

"...Will you talk about it later?"

"Why would you want to know? Simply because of the data, or something else?" He might as well tell, at least his part of it all. Wasn't his place to expose Dan's secrets to another data player.

"Don't want to have you jumping out of a window because I mention dogs and didn't know someone drowned your puppy, or something."

"Oh, but I never had a puppy." Missing the point. On purpose, yes. "... Namase, my ex boyfriend, showed up. He was happy to see me. I wasn't." One way of retelling what had happened.

"I... see." Mizuki frowned. He got the feeling there was more to it -- more than what he could readily conclude -- but he wasn't about to prod right now. Fuji had been right, they were supposed to have a fun night.

"He's in prison now, for rape and attempted murder. I don't know who got him for that... He had a knife, and that's illegal possession, and he did cut me. Never really had the time to try and kill me though." He probably would have. It was funny how he could talk about it now, without feeling how his entire chest clenched up. He guessed that was good. "Anyway... Don't have any cool beverages, is that okay?" Subject change, subject change... Because thinking too much made him think of Echizen, and what he had figured out from reading the meme results the night before.

Oookay. Definitely not poking any deeper into that. "That's quite okay," he murmured. "Warm tea goes better with freshly baked stuff, anyway."

"Great~ Want to watch the commercials or skip straight to the movie?" He got up to get the tea.

"Straight to the movie, I'd say." Mizuki smirked. "With bad luck the commercial might actually be good, and that'd ruin the whole evening."

"We wouldn't want that." Fuji chuckled, placing a cup in front of Mizuki and another in front of himself. He clicked a few buttons and the movie began to play. "Japanese dub or English?"

"Whichever you'd prefer." Mizuki shrugged. He could manage English, if need be. He'd already seen the movies once, anyway.

In the end, Fuji decided on the Japanese dub, just to be able to relax properly while they watched. It was only a few minutes into the movie when he started to drop comments here and there, while munching away on a muffin.

Mizuki was throwing comments as well. It was surprisingly fun to watch the movie a second time, since now he knew what to expect and could pay more attention to the details. It was a nice movie, he decided, if one took it as a comedy.

Half way through the movie, Fuji pressed pause. "Toilet." Bothersome enough, but there you had it. "Feel free to look around, if you get bored~"

"Dangerous words, Fuji-kun~" Few would have told such a thing to anyone, never mind an infamously nosy data player. Fuji least of all. Which obviously meant he was scheming something.

Well, sadly for Fuji, Mizuki had actually grown up a bit in the last few years. Fighting his curiousity into submission, he refrained from poking through anything more personal than a book he found on Fuji's night table, skimming over the text on the back.

When returning from the bathroom, Fuji stopped just outside the room, peeking inside through the slightly ajar door, a calm smile on his face. Well, how about that. Mizuki really had gained some sense of... Well, something. Of course, it could be a plan from his side, he could have predicted that Fuji would be checking up on him and therefore decided not to do anything suspicious, but still... Fuji opened the door and slipped inside. "Do you like Dennis Lehane too?" Pointing at the book.

"Haven't tried." Mizuki shrugged, looking up. "Any good?"

"Very. You should try Mystic River." The book he was reading right now was Shutter Island however.

"...Fantasy, thriller, or weird?"

"Thriller." Fuji gave a wry smile. "It's about three childhood friends. As they grow up, the daughter of one of them is murdered. Another one of them is a police and the third one is the main suspect."

"Sounds... intriguing." Mizuki chuckled. "I'll give it a try. But. Back to sparkles?"

"Most definitely. Back to sparkles~" Very much, since the main suspect in the book had been kidnapped by paedophiles when he was eleven and kept there for days. Not something he wanted to dwell on right now. How do I manage to find books like that anyway?

"Sparkles and blood and stalkery~" Honestly. How could someone think that was romantic?

"She has a Stockholm Syndrome bigger than the entire country of Sweden." Nod nod.

"And her parents are insane."

"Well, how about that cozy little vampire collective? Creepy much?"

"Calling someone your sibling when it's damn clear you're dating?"

"I know. Hello~ Oh, if only I had Yuuta here, I'd be all..." Making smoochy sounds.

"I'd steal him from you." Teasing. Hopefully.

"Oh, you could try~" Hopefully they're both teasing.

"Or maybe I'd just steal you from him." Smirk.

"..." Blink. "Now, that would be a challenge." Smirk. "I don't think Kippei would approve."

"All the more challenge, indeed~" Mizuki chuckled. "Though if you were making out with your brother, one should hope that Tachibana is the last of your issues."

"What, you think I have issues?" He gave a completely innocent smile. "Yuuta's just precious, you know?"

"Oh, believe me, I do know."

"..." Smiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile. "You're quite precious yourself. In this awkward kind of way."

"Oh, of course I'm adorable. Nfu." His eyes caught something on the screen. "What, we're at vampire baseball already?"

"... That's fast." Fuji shook his head. "How can they not realize that they're seriously bad news? And of course they zoom in on Bella the first thing they do."

"The whole idea of the game is just ridiculous," Mizuki complained. "And how were they thinking for her to take part, anyway? Gasp and cheer in awe at their prowess? Honestly, Atobe is less aggravating."

"Bella could make even the most patient one... Say, Dan-kun or Sakuno-chan... Lose their temper."

Mizuki nodded sagely. "And the patient ones are always the worst when they lose it."

"That is true." He doubted Dan would ever lose his temper unless it had something to do with people he cared deeply about however. Same with Sakuno-chan. Probably.

"...So I guess we're very fortunate indeed that Miss Swan doesn't actually exist."

"If she did, I'd probably call social services on her parents." Frown.

"I mean, honestly. She runs to the other side of the country and ends up in hospital and they don't ask questions?"

"They can't even excuse it with her being an adult, because... Hello. She clearly isn't."

"She acts like a spoiled four-year-old," Mizuki agreed.

"She does." Sigh. She was pretty, Fuji could admit that. Either she was, or the actress was. but according to the book, she was supposed to be pretty, right?

"Makes one really wonder why Meyer didn't even think twice about giving her own description as Bella's appearance."

"Meyer is one rather peculiar woman, isn't she?" Imprinting, indeed...

"Indeed. Probably has something to do with her background." Mizuki rolled his eyes. "And I thought I was brought up fundamental..."

"I don't know about her background." Not an interesting enough author for him to check up on.

"She's Mormon. I read this essay once about all the links between her books and Mormon values. Most insightful."

"I should read that eventually. If I can be bothered. It's scary that Rowling produce more quality writing than she does..." Fuji sighed. Ah, the slow genocide of literature...

"Almost makes you feel hopeful about getting published if you so wish, ne? If they publish this, they'll publish anything, surely."

"I think I do want to be published one day. Maybe I should write a children's story."

"Why not? Throw in some sparkles and a self-insert hero and you're an instant success."

"The bad thing, I guess, is that if I wrote a self insert, he'd never be the hero." He gave a small, almost apologetic shrug. "If I wrote a Yuuta-insert though..."

"Someone's got a brother complex~"

"You didn't know?" Smile~

"Oh, I've had this data ages ago." Mizuki smirked. He fell silent for a while as he watched the movie, before sighing and throwing his hands in the air. "Oh, honestly! They could have had a climatic battle, and this is what we get? Oh, sorry, I passed out? It was a cop-out in the book, and this is even worse!"

"Honestly." Fuji shook his head and nibbled on a cookie. "I don't think I have the energy to go to the second movie straight after this. ... I can't believe they just did that."

"...You read the fourth book yet?"

"Yes, sadly enough." He made a small face.

"That's even worse." Mizuki grimaced. "Let's gather all our allies! Let's make one last heroic stand for justice! We have all the strength on our side, the wolves will fight, our dear heroine is strong and vicious and... what? You decide to talk?"

Fuji couldn't help himself; he started to laugh. Softly at first, but it quickly grew louder and he had to cover his mouth to keep from spraying cookie crumbs everywhere. "... Don't... Say that! Not when my mouth's full!"

"...Sorry." Mizuki sighed. "At least you didn't read that part while two sisters were squealing about how wise and mature Bella is."

"That probably would have broken my brain," Fuji gasped, trying to catch some air. Oh, hello there, tea.

"And I'm like... I'm a gay guy, as bad as they go, and even I thought that was a sissy move."

"If something's more gay than you, what would one call it?" He looked curiously at Mizuki, a few stray cookie crumbs still clinging to the corners of his mouth.

"A purple ball of glitter having anal sex with a rainbow-farting unicorn."

"..." This resulted in another laugh explosion.

"In the middle of pink roses, of course. ...Triangular pink roses. Do they make triangular roses?"

"They should. If you grow them in a mould or something, I don't see how you couldn't make ones~"

"That would be absolutely fabulous." Mizuki nodded approvingly.

"We should try it, come spring~"

"That could be fun~" Mizuki paused. "...Is it just me, or is this all really weird somehow?"

"... I kind of feel like I'm on an LSD trip, actually," Fuji admitted with a small laugh. "But a good one."

"I meant talking and laughing with you, not the rainbow-farting unicorns. ...Though those are weird, too."

"... I kind of meant all of this." He pulled up his legs to his chest, hugging them as he peered curiously at Mizuki. "We really are friends, aren't we? How did that happen?"

"I grew up and you forgave me for being an ass when I was younger, would be my guess." Mizuki stuck out his tongue. "Not that I wasn't already great and glorious back then."

"In your very delusional dreams, my dear. And only there." He smiled sweetly.

"Great and glorious enough to have an entire tennis team under my thumb."

"... Well, there's that." He stretched his legs out before him.

"...I wasn't just using Yuuta, you know," Mizuki said after a small silence. "I was aware of the risks, yes... but he himself wanted to win."

"I realize that. Well... I didn't right then and there, but with time, I did realize it. I think I was mostly mad at you because you didn't try and stop him." Fuji looked down at his hands, a dry grin passing over his face. "Well, I should have been more angry at me for trying to stop him, I suppose."

"You're his brother. I was his manager," Mizuki said, shrugging. "I'd be worried if you weren't the more protective one."

"Yes, of course... But there's protective and there's suffocating."

"Especially when his greatest wish was to get away from your shadow."

"... Yes." His shoulders slumped, ever so slightly.

"...You are rather hard to surpass, o tensai of Seigaku."

"I think we've had this conversation before, or something akin to it, haven't we?"

"...Possible." Mizuki reached for yet another cookie. "Ugh, this is getting depressing."

"The movie, the company or the topic?" Fuji quirked an eyebrow.

"The topic."

"Yes... Oh well." He sighed. "While we're at it... Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?"

"None I think you'd like to answer."

"Try me." He would have liked something stronger than tea, but...

"...The incident." Better take advantage of an opportunity when it was so graciously offered. "I think there's more to it than you're telling me."

Fuji nodded. "Yes... There is. Namase... My ex... Well, he had a cousin, or whatever, right? Went to the same class as Echizen here in camp. And apparently had a thing for him. So naturally he thought of Dan as a rival. Which probably would have been all well and good, save for the fact that the kid was mental. He tried to drown Dan, and nearly succeeded." He paused. "And... Well, I started dating Namase when I was thirteen. Or you know, going on thirteen. First year, junior high. He's... a lot older. Make of it what you want."

"...Psychopath and a paedophile." Mizuki shook his head. "A fun crowd you have around here." He frowned. What exactly happened? You told me your ex is in prison, but...)

"... They caught us. That kid dragged Dan away, and I really don't know the details after that... And Namase raped me. Guess he didn't like that I walked out on him." He gave a wry chuckle. "He cut me."

"That's just... sick." Mizuki shook his head. His last -- and only, really -- relationship had ended rather badly, but this was in another order of magnitude altogether. "Guess I shouldn't wonder how you ended so messed up." It wasn't an insult. An insult wouldn't have had such a tone of worry to it.

"... The real kicker? When I was thirteen... That wasn't the first time I had sex." Weak smile.

"...It wasn't?"

Fuji shook his head. "Far from it."

"...How young?" He wasn't sure he wanted the details, data be damned, but there was a sort of a morbid fascination that demanded he know at least this much.

Fuji sighed, then glanced over at him, a plastic smile on his lips. "Seven years earlier."

"...Six." Mizuki stared at him. "You were fucking six?!" Language be damned. That was just... wrong.

"Hadn't turned six yet," he corrected. "But... yes."

There was suddenly a very, very pleasant smile on Mizuki's face. "...Who do I need to kill?"

"My neighbour. But... Don't bother. He's already dead."

"I... see." A pity. He was feeling particularly murderous right now.

"I threatened to turn him in when I was ten... I had enough. But... he didn't take it very well." He stared down at his hands.

"He... killed himself?" ...Well. How about that, then.

"He did. I..." I still feel guilty about it.

"...It wasn't your fault." Mizuki shook his head. "He was sick to begin with. It wasn't your fault, and if you dare blame yourself, I swear to God I'll -- I'll hit you."

Fuji looked up and blinked. "Hit me?"

Mizuki nodded sagely. "Hit you. For being an idiot. So don't blame yourself if you know what's best for you."

"Demanding, aren't you?" Fuji chuckled dryly, reaching for yet another cookie. "At least I don't have daddy issues."

"That seems to be just about the only issue you've managed to avoid."

The blond nodded. "I'm sure I'll live."

"So very courageous of you." ...Something had to be seriously wrong... since Mizuki wanted to hug Fuji.

"I know, I..." He paused, glancing over at Mizuki. "... How are you?"

"...What do you mean by that?" Well, that was a rather clumsy attempt at changing subjects from Fuji.

"I... Well, I'm not telling you about rainbows and daisies here, right? Are you sure you're all right?"

"...I'll live." Mizuki shook his head. "You've lived through it. I can hear it." He'd had his own share of bad experiences, but this... this was just wrong.

"It could have been worse." Not much, but it could have been worse.

"Not by much." Mizuki made a face.

"Probably not, but..." He shrugged. "At least I'm getting help."

"You are?" Mizuki asked. "What kind of help?"

"I'm seeing a psychiatrist." He smiled bashfully. "Once a week."

"Good for you." Mizuki nodded. "Too many people never do." People like himself, one might have said, except obviously he didn't need the help so it didn't count.

"Well, it took me... what, over ten years?"

"...Ten years, and a lot of other stuff." Like a relationship with an older man and... whatever it was that had resulted with the scars on Fuji's arms.

Fuji nodded. His right hand almost unconsciously rubbed over the left arm, eyes downcast.

"Still. Very sensible of you." Mizuki sighed. "...Scars will fade over time." At least so he'd been told.

"Some will." He nodded slowly.

"And the ones that don't will tell a story." Or more. "...Not that we'll ever forget where they lay."

"Do you... have any significant scars?"

A smirk. "Maybe."

Fuji smirked back and pushed himself to his feet. "It's getting late..."

Mizuki hesitated a bit. On one hand, he really didn't want to let anyone see... on the other hand, Fuji had bared much more than just some scars for him, today. He felt like he owed the tensai some honesty in return. ...Besides, if anyone, he somehow felt Fuji wouldn't be disgusted. "...Wait."

Fuji paused and turned around, frowning. "... Yes?"

"...Do you want to see?" Just a few simple words, but they were difficult to get out. Nobody'd seen them for a while now, nobody but his mother and some doctors and nurses. He still felt a bit iffy at the thought, but... he owed Fuji that much, didn't he?

"If you want to show me."

"...Think I owe you that much data at least." Mizuki stood up as well, starting to open the buttons on his shirt. "...I probably don't have to tell you not to tell anyone."

Fuji sat down again, and waited, silently.

Opening the last button, Mizuki let the shirt fall from his shoulders down to his elbows, hesitating one last bit. Then, he drew a deep breath and turned around.

His back was pale and smooth, just like all the rest of his body. Smooth, except for the slightly raised lines carved directly into his skin, spelling out a word that indeed told a story all in itself.

FAG.

"You know how children are," he said, trying for a wry tone but unable to stop his voice from trembling a bit. "When they learn a neat new word, they just have to scribble it on everything they get their hands on."

Fuji closed his eyes for a moment, hands locked in front of him on the table. The word did indeed tell a story, a story far too familiar, but he figured he hadn't read this chapter yet. Wasn't sure he wanted. "I am so sorry, Mizuki," he said, his eyes dark.

"Not like you're at fault." Mizuki pulled the shirt back up, starting to button it up with slightly trembling fingers as he, too, sat down again. He wasn't sure his legs would carry him much longer. "I've had it easier than you."

"You can't compare pain, it doesn't work that way." Fuji sighed. "Do you know why I came to camp? ... They didn't scribble any nifty words on me, but... I had to get away."

"I just needed somewhere to go," Mizuki shrugged. "Mother took me out of the school when she found out. The teachers just wanted to keep it quiet lest there be a scandal. ...At least some of them believed I was just doing it for the attention."

"Of course. Because it's your fault for stirring up trouble." His voice was bitter.

"You know the first thing one of the teachers asked when they heard about the scars?" Mizuki chuckled humourlessly. "Whether it was true. Because my sexual orientation was so much more important than the fact some psychos took a knife to me. But, hey, the boys were right after all, they shouldn't have been forced to share changing rooms and showers with a dirty freak in the first place."

"So... Who do I have to kill?" He smiled bleakly.

"They're back in Tokyo. They don't matter anymore."

Fuji nodded. "Yeah... They don't." Talking about both the guys who messed with Mizuki and the ones that had messed with him.

"...I probably owe you a thanks, anyway."

He looked slowly at him. "Oh? Why?"

"...Sometimes, I thought it might be easier to just die." Mizuki gave him a small, humourless smirk. "I always decided I couldn't do that before I'd managed to beat you."

He was silent for a long time. Unmoving. Then, slowly, he got to his feet, walking over to Mizuki and pulling him into a hug.

Mizuki flinched a bit; he really didn't like people touching his back. Nevertheless, he found himself returning the hug. "So... thanks for being a tensai," he murmured. "I'd hate to have given the bastards that satisfaction."

He was very careful not to touch the scars, and true enough, the hug made him feel somewhat uncomfortable as well, for a moment, but he held on tight. "Thank yourself for finding something to hold on to." He pulled back. "I tried to kill myself the first time when I was eight, you know. In spite of my family. In spite of Yumiko-nee, in spite of Yuuta."

"I'm glad you didn't," Mizuki murmured. "Without you, I wouldn't have had a goal, either." That, and he really didn't want to think of Fuji dying.

"I... might agree." Might. He wasn't entirely sure, but living was what he did now, and he wasn't actively trying to change that.

"Shut up." Mizuki smirked. "I'm your bitter enemy, remember? If I say you should be alive and well and whatnot, you have no right to disagree. Nfu."

"Until the day you manage to pay me back, I take it?" He smirked. "But seeing as that will probably never happen, I guess I'm going to have to go immortal on you, hm?"

"You're the one who said tennis might not be for you," Mizuki reminded. "Well, I'm not going to stop working. I'll surpass you one day." Smiiirk. "That day might be closer than you think~"

"Careful. Provide me with enough thrills, and I might just get back to tennis, you know." He didn't think that he would, but it was almost fun to toy with the thought.

"I'll leave you choking on my dust as I run past, Syuu-su-ke~"

"In your..." He had to pause, yawning. "...Your dreams."

"Which apparently at least you will be seeing pretty soon." Mizuki gave him a quirky smirk. "...I suppose it would be the best for us to get to sleep."

"I suppose so," he admitted with a quirky smile. "Long day..."

"Lots to think about." Mizuki looked at him seriously, now. "...I'm not telling anyone." His tone was absolutely sincere.

Fuji nodded and smiled. "Likewise. You have my word."

"...Thank you." Mizuki chuckled a bit. "Oh, God. We really are becoming friends, aren't we?"

"... Good lord, yes." He chuckled. "Who would have thought?" He decided he'd clean up in the morning; far too sleepy, or rather, worn out, right now.

"It is a frightening notion, ne?" Mizuki shook his head. "...We have to watch New Moon soon, you know. Hopefully without the weighty conversation to go with the laughs."

"I think we have the weighty conversation out of the way now." He smiled and then yawned again.

"One would hope so." Mizuki sighed. "...And now I'll be polite and let you sleep."

"I'm sorry," he said, walking up to the door and opening it. "It was an... interesting evening, Mizuki."

"In more ways than one." Mizuki nodded. "...I'd thank you for confiding in me, but that would just feel strange."

"Yes, I guess so." He paused. "I hope you'll be able to sleep well, regardless."

"Oh, I will." Mizuki smirked. "I'll just be looking forward to Jacob's bare chest~"

"... Jacob? Oh please. Sprakly vampires, Mizuki. That's all you ever need."

"I'll take my tanned little Indian wolf over your cold marble any day~" And, with one final show of his tongue, Mizuki left.

Fuji chuckled, but even so, his eyes were sad when he closed the door after him, and as he got to bed, he still couldn't fall asleep.

Mizuki, for his part, spent most of the night clutching onto his pyjama shirt, pulling it taut over his back as though hoping that'd help with the lingering feeling of cold metal sliding into him even when he knew it was long since gone.