Log: Despair
Who: Echizen Brothers
What: Ryoma gets some very bad news.
When: Today-ish (Tuesday the 24th)
Where: Ryoga's room
Rating: PG-13 for language and subject matter
WARNINGS: Mentions of HIV.
He stood outside the door that led to Ryoga's room. Stood, waited. They were back from their trip, had been for a few days, and he held a slip of paper in his hand. Said hand shook. His entire body shook. He had been crying, and Echizen Ryoma almost never cried. The traces were still evident in his face however, he couldn't be bothered to wash them away. Instead he reached out with his hand and heavily knocked on the door, his head spinning. "Aniki. Aniki, open up!"
Okay. That was most definitely Ryoma's voice... yet he'd never heard it taking on quite that desperate a tone. Not since he'd seen his brother dragging Dan out of the water. Immediately abandoning the book he'd been reading, Ryoga rushed to the door, throwing it open. "Okay, what's the matter?"
Mutely he handed Ryoga the note. It was an official letter from the local hospital, and the beginning read: Echizen-san. We're sorry to inform you that... Ryoma knew the rest by heart. Instead of waiting for Ryoga to read what it said - his death sentence - he walked into the room and allowed himself to fall down on his back onto Ryoga's bed, closing his eyes.
Okay. Ryoma's face alone was enough to tell him it was bad. Nevertheless, he forced him to read the actual letter, eyes flicking from line to line until suddenly, the letter fell from his hand.
"...Fuck."
"I have HIV." Just that. And it was so easy to say, which was morbid in its own way.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Ryoga hit his fist to the wall. It hurt, but he barely noticed the pain. It was nothing compared with what he felt inside.
He'd failed. He'd failed to keep his brother safe. And this... this was the result.
Ryoma rolled over on his side, back facing Ryoga, and he curled up, hugging the nearest pillow, hard. The raw pain in Ryoga's voice brought tears to his eyes again and he didn't even attempt to stop them.
Ryoga paused for a moment, gathering himself. Then he turned right around and rushed to his bed, arms reaching around his brother. "It'll be all right," he murmured, his own face ashen. "It'll be all right... somehow, it'll be all right..."
"How is it gonna be all right? I'm gonna die." Ryoma shuddered, words barely making it past his lips because of the sobs.
"Everyone'll die, eventually." Ryoga tightened his hold around Ryoma. "Hey, Chibisuke... it's not a right-out death sentence. Not nowadays. You'll just have to get on the right meds and with any luck, it'll be decades before you have to actually worry about it."
"But... But I'm soiled inside out now." He wiped his face, resting heavily against Ryoga's body. "I... I have to break up with Tai."
"I'm sure Taichi's going to have something to say about that, too." Call him overly trusting or not, but Ryoga was willing to guess Taichi wouldn't be entirely in favour of Ryoma's suggestion.
Ryoma looked up at his brother, eyes shining with tears and desperation, and maybe even a smidgen of rage. "I'm not killing him!"
"And you're not going to. Calm down." He knew that was a tall order. Hell, he was having trouble being anything resembling 'calm', himself, but for Ryoma's sake, he was going to pretend if nothing else. "Nobody's going to die, Chibisuke. And you're not going to kill anybody."
"Gonna rest... Then I'm gonna call Tai. Or get some air and then call him." Ryoma sighed. "But... Just wanna sleep for a bit first. Ani--- Oniisama. Can I sleep in your bed?"
"Sleep however long you wish." Ryoga patted his head. "I'm going to watch over you."
"... Mm. Thank you." He adjusted his position on the bed, snuggling down into the pillow and pulled the cover over him. But no matter how tired he was and how much he tried, sleep wouldn't come.
What: Ryoma gets some very bad news.
When: Today-ish (Tuesday the 24th)
Where: Ryoga's room
Rating: PG-13 for language and subject matter
WARNINGS: Mentions of HIV.
He stood outside the door that led to Ryoga's room. Stood, waited. They were back from their trip, had been for a few days, and he held a slip of paper in his hand. Said hand shook. His entire body shook. He had been crying, and Echizen Ryoma almost never cried. The traces were still evident in his face however, he couldn't be bothered to wash them away. Instead he reached out with his hand and heavily knocked on the door, his head spinning. "Aniki. Aniki, open up!"
Okay. That was most definitely Ryoma's voice... yet he'd never heard it taking on quite that desperate a tone. Not since he'd seen his brother dragging Dan out of the water. Immediately abandoning the book he'd been reading, Ryoga rushed to the door, throwing it open. "Okay, what's the matter?"
Mutely he handed Ryoga the note. It was an official letter from the local hospital, and the beginning read: Echizen-san. We're sorry to inform you that... Ryoma knew the rest by heart. Instead of waiting for Ryoga to read what it said - his death sentence - he walked into the room and allowed himself to fall down on his back onto Ryoga's bed, closing his eyes.
Okay. Ryoma's face alone was enough to tell him it was bad. Nevertheless, he forced him to read the actual letter, eyes flicking from line to line until suddenly, the letter fell from his hand.
"...Fuck."
"I have HIV." Just that. And it was so easy to say, which was morbid in its own way.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" Ryoga hit his fist to the wall. It hurt, but he barely noticed the pain. It was nothing compared with what he felt inside.
He'd failed. He'd failed to keep his brother safe. And this... this was the result.
Ryoma rolled over on his side, back facing Ryoga, and he curled up, hugging the nearest pillow, hard. The raw pain in Ryoga's voice brought tears to his eyes again and he didn't even attempt to stop them.
Ryoga paused for a moment, gathering himself. Then he turned right around and rushed to his bed, arms reaching around his brother. "It'll be all right," he murmured, his own face ashen. "It'll be all right... somehow, it'll be all right..."
"How is it gonna be all right? I'm gonna die." Ryoma shuddered, words barely making it past his lips because of the sobs.
"Everyone'll die, eventually." Ryoga tightened his hold around Ryoma. "Hey, Chibisuke... it's not a right-out death sentence. Not nowadays. You'll just have to get on the right meds and with any luck, it'll be decades before you have to actually worry about it."
"But... But I'm soiled inside out now." He wiped his face, resting heavily against Ryoga's body. "I... I have to break up with Tai."
"I'm sure Taichi's going to have something to say about that, too." Call him overly trusting or not, but Ryoga was willing to guess Taichi wouldn't be entirely in favour of Ryoma's suggestion.
Ryoma looked up at his brother, eyes shining with tears and desperation, and maybe even a smidgen of rage. "I'm not killing him!"
"And you're not going to. Calm down." He knew that was a tall order. Hell, he was having trouble being anything resembling 'calm', himself, but for Ryoma's sake, he was going to pretend if nothing else. "Nobody's going to die, Chibisuke. And you're not going to kill anybody."
"Gonna rest... Then I'm gonna call Tai. Or get some air and then call him." Ryoma sighed. "But... Just wanna sleep for a bit first. Ani--- Oniisama. Can I sleep in your bed?"
"Sleep however long you wish." Ryoga patted his head. "I'm going to watch over you."
"... Mm. Thank you." He adjusted his position on the bed, snuggling down into the pillow and pulled the cover over him. But no matter how tired he was and how much he tried, sleep wouldn't come.