rp log: Kabaji Munehiro, Kawamura Takashi
What: Kabaji and Kawamura have lunch and discuss something that's been bothering Kawamura.
Where: Cafeteria, then hiking trails
When: Friday, October 2
Rating: G
Kabaji walked into the cafeteria. After picking up his food, he paused, searching the area for Kawamura. He had met the other boy on Fridays in previous weeks. It was becoming a bit of a tradition for the two and Kabaji didn't mind it at all. Spotting the other boy, he made his way over and sat down. "Good afternoon, Kawamura."
Taka had gotten out from his last class a few minutes early, so he was quick to go to the cafeteria and pick out his lunch. He would be eating with Kabaji, an unspoken tradition that was born the first week Kabaji arrived, so the tall brunette made sure to grab a table that had plenty of extra space. As he saw his younger friend walk over, he offered him a big smile. "Good afternoon, Kabaji-kun. How are you? And, you know I've told you to call me Taka!" He replied, chuckling slightly.
Kabaji flushed slightly. "I know. It's just habit," he said. "I'm fine, though you seem to be on edge a little. Is everything okay?"
"It's alright. It's just a mouthful." He murmured with a grin, before sighing. "Am I that transparent, Kabaji-kun?" He asked, cocking his head to the side as he opened his bottle of tea.
Kabaji nodded, taking a drink of his tea. "Slightly, Taka," he said honestly, eying his friend. "You seem worried about something."
With a nod, he paused to take a bite of his food, before answering. "I guess so. A couple things, really." He admitted.
Kabaji put his fork down, concern marring his features. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Putting his own utensils down, Taka looked over at his friends. "Well...it's sort of confusing, even for me. I've got a couple different things going on, I guess."
"I hope it's nothing serious," Kabaji said. He took a few bites of food in the small span of silence. He was worried and hoped he would be able to help.
"I guess it depends on how you look at it. I...Well, I've been worried that I'm not in control." he said, before taking a bite of food.
"Oh. How do you mean?" Kabaji asked. He felt that Kawamura was normally in control. The power player sitting across from him was one of the most controlled people he had ever met. For the boy to be worried about something like that... well, Kabaji knew something seriously was wrong.
Sighing, he leaned in closer and whispered to the other. "Well...a couple weeks ago, I...got in a fight. And, well...It was like I was sitting on the bleachers, watching someone else in my body...It was one of the scariest feelings in the world." He finished slowly.
Kabaji frowned. He hadn't heard of any fights. At least, none that Keigo expressed clearly. "That doesn't sound good, Taka," he said. "How did it happen? If you don't mind my asking."
"Ah, well...it wasn't." He admitted, before nodding. "Oh. Well, have you had the misfortune of meeting Marui-kun, you might understand how it happened. He is really good at provoking someone....And I couldn't control himself anymore. I...Ah, told him if he didn't shut up, I'd shut his mouth for him." He paused, to sip his tea. "I....I did."
Kabaji hid the fact that he was shocked. He couldn't see the timid Kawamura hurting even a fly when not playing tennis. "I have not had the pleasure or displeasure of meeting Marui-kun," he said, finishing the rest of his drink and sliding his tray aside. "I never suspected anything like that would happen."
"To tell you the truth, I didn't either." Taka said, before sighing heavily. "But, it did, and...I feel sorry that I lost control, but not that I hurt him. He threw in a good punch, too. But I guess that doesn't really matter. Bottom line is...I'm afraid of losing control again. Maybe when someone who has done nothing."
Kabaji pondered for a moment. "I don't think that would happen," he started. "You have enough self control. And you admitted that he provoked you. In any case, it was probably justified."
"But don't you see? It doesn't matter if it was justified! It was wrong for me. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." He quoted. "And...I'm afraid for my friends safety...."
"I don't think you'll ever hurt your friends," Kabaji stated. Perhaps he had said the wrong thing. "Maybe we should continue our talk somewhere else, Taka. Though, in all seriousness, everyone has a snapping point. Myself included. Marui-kun must have said many things to get you to that point."
"Ah...I guess I'm not very hungry anyway." He murmured as he nodded and stood. "Where would you like to go?"
"There are trails, correct? We could walk along those, if you're up for it." Kabaji stood and took his and Kawamura's trays to the trash cans.
"That sounds like a good idea. I haven't explored the trails very much yet." He replied, before blinking, and catching up to the other. "Kabaji-kun! I can take my own tray!"
Kabaji smiled a little as he threw their trash away. "It's fine, Taka," he said easily as they walked out of the cafeteria. "I don't mind."
Smiling back, he shook his head. "Still..." But, he knew when he wouldn't win, so he dropped it.
"Still, nothing," Kabaji said, laughing slightly. "I really don't think you have anything to worry excessively over. You are aware of the situation now and will be hyper-aware of it from now on. I think you are beating yourself up for no reason."
Taka thought about it as they walked out of the cafeteria, and finally opened his mouth when they were half way to the start of the trails. "Well...but does that matter? I mean...I lost control before. And it was only for....maybe two minutes. In that time, I had busted a lip and given him a black eye. Even when I got my control back...I knocked him out by pressure point because he wouldn't shut up...And that was just a few short minutes, you know? What if...I snap around someone else? But...Yamato-sensei told me it might not be tennis control I need..." Taka heaved a big sigh. "I just...feel so lost. I don't know where to turn, you know?"
Kabaji looked concerned again. "What exactly happened? This doesn't sound like you at all, Taka." He worried immensely for his friend, wondering if he should ask Keigo for advice on this matter.
The brunette took a deep breath, and moved over to a large rock, where he sat down. He looked at his hands as he told the story. "One night, I was a little restless, so I took a ran. On my way back to the dorm, there was Marui-kun, sitting on the bottom of the stairs. He started telling me horrible things. Private sexual things about my friends. E...Especially Fujiko-chan. I won't tell you what but...some of the stuff was bad. He saw how it made me react. I tried reasoning with him, but they kept on coming. Filthy words that no one should be able to use...He made another comment, and I...told him that if he didn't shut his trap, I'd shut it for him. But he just wouldn't stop. God, I can't even remember everything anymore...I snapped. Punched him in the mouth. Split his lip. He attacked, and I fought back. He got a good bruise on my cheek, and one to my gut. I landed the one in his eye. I finally got hold of myself, just as he sent a fist at me. I caught it with my hand, and squeezed a little, and told him it was enough....apparently, he hadn't thought so. But...I used an old Karate move I learned with Jin, and he fell unconscious. I brought him to one of his old team-mates, and went to my room..." He finished off, ashamed.
Kabaji put a firm hand on Kawamura's shoulder. "We'll work through this," Kabaji said confidently, taking a seat next to his friend. "Though, now that I've heard the story, I don't think you were in your 'burning mode'." By now, Kabaji was convinced that Kawamura's "Burning Mode" was limited to only when he had a racket in his hands and that the incident with Marui was simply because the other student couldn't keep his mouth shut. He sighed. That was the problem with some tennis players; they had to keep talking, provoking and prodding whomever was within a few feet of them.
"Thank you, Kabaji-kun." It made him feel better that he knew he could count on the younger boy. He listened to the other, but he wasn't sure...."It was the same feeling though...I mean. Burning mode is hard to explain. When I pick up my racket, all my focus is on that little green ball. Adrenaline starts pumping, and I start to feel like I'm outside, watching the match instead of playing it. I don't know if that makes any sense to you at all but...I'm not 100% in control. And for the first time...I felt that same feeling, with the same focus, only...it was on another human and not some little ball." Taka admitted slowly.
Similar, yet different, Kabaji thought, pondering the issue. "It makes sense." He paused again, trying to figure it all out. He still wasn't convinced that Kawamura was taking his tennis style and turning it on another human being. The Kawamura he knew had way too much self control for that, plus, the older man was too timid. "I think it quite possible that maybe this was an isolated incident."
"I've thought about that...but...it's haunting me. What if it isn't? And...I can't seem to break my tennis, though I've been trying for nearly three weeks now." Taka said, looking over at Kabaji with somewhat lost eyes.
Kabaji laughed. "You expected to break your tennis so quickly?" he asked. "Three weeks isn't enough time to let your mental state register a forced change." Kabaji, himself, was a little hesitant to try to break his technique for fear that he wouldn't really have any ability besides raw power left.
Chuckling embarrassingly to himself, he rubbed the back of his head with a hand. "Ah, I guess you're right...."
"I think you are a bit stressed, my friend," Kabaji said. "Things will work themselves out. Tennis, this issue, everything, but you need to be patient and stop trying to rush things and force the answers and solutions to come to you."
"Maybe...maybe you're right. I just....With that, and poor Fujiko-chan and Dan-kun getting attacked...I'll admit I'm using it as an excuse to try and wear myself out at night..."
"It won't help them if you are exhausted. Do you think your friends would like it if they knew you were doing this to yourself because of them? They would feel horrible," Kabaji admonished. Kawamura's heart was in the right place, but he was too emotionally involved to think rationally.
"I'm...doing it so I sleep at night. Otherwise, I lay awake at night and...my thoughts stray to the fight, or to the attack..." He felt so at ease with Kabaji, that he was letting things come out without thinking.
"Not getting enough sleep is going to be detrimental to your health. You're worried which, given the circumstances, is understandable, but if you want to be there for your friends, you can't do this to yourself," Kabaji explained, looking more worried than ever.
"But the nightmares...I have more sleep if I wear myself out." He rebutted softly.
"Are the nightmares there regardless of when you sleep?" Kabaji asked.
"No. If I can wear myself out, I don't remember my dreams, or at least, they don't effect me at all." Taka replied as he scratched his left sideburn.
"It's still not healthy," Kabaji said quietly, somewhat at a loss for how to help Kawamura. "I don't know what we can do to help you."
"I dunno, it's not like it hasn't help me get back in shape faster." He joked, rubbing the back of his head again, embarrassed. "Ah..."
"All positive things aside..." Kabaji looked at Kawamura and gave him a weak smile. "Everything will work out. I have faith in that."
Giving Kabaji a smile in return, he nodded his head. "They always seem to, I guess."
"Care for a tennis match? I haven't been able to play another power player since arriving," Kabaji asked standing up and looking toward the tennis courts.
"I think it's a great idea." Taka replied, grinning, and stood to follow the other.
Where: Cafeteria, then hiking trails
When: Friday, October 2
Rating: G
Kabaji walked into the cafeteria. After picking up his food, he paused, searching the area for Kawamura. He had met the other boy on Fridays in previous weeks. It was becoming a bit of a tradition for the two and Kabaji didn't mind it at all. Spotting the other boy, he made his way over and sat down. "Good afternoon, Kawamura."
Taka had gotten out from his last class a few minutes early, so he was quick to go to the cafeteria and pick out his lunch. He would be eating with Kabaji, an unspoken tradition that was born the first week Kabaji arrived, so the tall brunette made sure to grab a table that had plenty of extra space. As he saw his younger friend walk over, he offered him a big smile. "Good afternoon, Kabaji-kun. How are you? And, you know I've told you to call me Taka!" He replied, chuckling slightly.
Kabaji flushed slightly. "I know. It's just habit," he said. "I'm fine, though you seem to be on edge a little. Is everything okay?"
"It's alright. It's just a mouthful." He murmured with a grin, before sighing. "Am I that transparent, Kabaji-kun?" He asked, cocking his head to the side as he opened his bottle of tea.
Kabaji nodded, taking a drink of his tea. "Slightly, Taka," he said honestly, eying his friend. "You seem worried about something."
With a nod, he paused to take a bite of his food, before answering. "I guess so. A couple things, really." He admitted.
Kabaji put his fork down, concern marring his features. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Putting his own utensils down, Taka looked over at his friends. "Well...it's sort of confusing, even for me. I've got a couple different things going on, I guess."
"I hope it's nothing serious," Kabaji said. He took a few bites of food in the small span of silence. He was worried and hoped he would be able to help.
"I guess it depends on how you look at it. I...Well, I've been worried that I'm not in control." he said, before taking a bite of food.
"Oh. How do you mean?" Kabaji asked. He felt that Kawamura was normally in control. The power player sitting across from him was one of the most controlled people he had ever met. For the boy to be worried about something like that... well, Kabaji knew something seriously was wrong.
Sighing, he leaned in closer and whispered to the other. "Well...a couple weeks ago, I...got in a fight. And, well...It was like I was sitting on the bleachers, watching someone else in my body...It was one of the scariest feelings in the world." He finished slowly.
Kabaji frowned. He hadn't heard of any fights. At least, none that Keigo expressed clearly. "That doesn't sound good, Taka," he said. "How did it happen? If you don't mind my asking."
"Ah, well...it wasn't." He admitted, before nodding. "Oh. Well, have you had the misfortune of meeting Marui-kun, you might understand how it happened. He is really good at provoking someone....And I couldn't control himself anymore. I...Ah, told him if he didn't shut up, I'd shut his mouth for him." He paused, to sip his tea. "I....I did."
Kabaji hid the fact that he was shocked. He couldn't see the timid Kawamura hurting even a fly when not playing tennis. "I have not had the pleasure or displeasure of meeting Marui-kun," he said, finishing the rest of his drink and sliding his tray aside. "I never suspected anything like that would happen."
"To tell you the truth, I didn't either." Taka said, before sighing heavily. "But, it did, and...I feel sorry that I lost control, but not that I hurt him. He threw in a good punch, too. But I guess that doesn't really matter. Bottom line is...I'm afraid of losing control again. Maybe when someone who has done nothing."
Kabaji pondered for a moment. "I don't think that would happen," he started. "You have enough self control. And you admitted that he provoked you. In any case, it was probably justified."
"But don't you see? It doesn't matter if it was justified! It was wrong for me. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." He quoted. "And...I'm afraid for my friends safety...."
"I don't think you'll ever hurt your friends," Kabaji stated. Perhaps he had said the wrong thing. "Maybe we should continue our talk somewhere else, Taka. Though, in all seriousness, everyone has a snapping point. Myself included. Marui-kun must have said many things to get you to that point."
"Ah...I guess I'm not very hungry anyway." He murmured as he nodded and stood. "Where would you like to go?"
"There are trails, correct? We could walk along those, if you're up for it." Kabaji stood and took his and Kawamura's trays to the trash cans.
"That sounds like a good idea. I haven't explored the trails very much yet." He replied, before blinking, and catching up to the other. "Kabaji-kun! I can take my own tray!"
Kabaji smiled a little as he threw their trash away. "It's fine, Taka," he said easily as they walked out of the cafeteria. "I don't mind."
Smiling back, he shook his head. "Still..." But, he knew when he wouldn't win, so he dropped it.
"Still, nothing," Kabaji said, laughing slightly. "I really don't think you have anything to worry excessively over. You are aware of the situation now and will be hyper-aware of it from now on. I think you are beating yourself up for no reason."
Taka thought about it as they walked out of the cafeteria, and finally opened his mouth when they were half way to the start of the trails. "Well...but does that matter? I mean...I lost control before. And it was only for....maybe two minutes. In that time, I had busted a lip and given him a black eye. Even when I got my control back...I knocked him out by pressure point because he wouldn't shut up...And that was just a few short minutes, you know? What if...I snap around someone else? But...Yamato-sensei told me it might not be tennis control I need..." Taka heaved a big sigh. "I just...feel so lost. I don't know where to turn, you know?"
Kabaji looked concerned again. "What exactly happened? This doesn't sound like you at all, Taka." He worried immensely for his friend, wondering if he should ask Keigo for advice on this matter.
The brunette took a deep breath, and moved over to a large rock, where he sat down. He looked at his hands as he told the story. "One night, I was a little restless, so I took a ran. On my way back to the dorm, there was Marui-kun, sitting on the bottom of the stairs. He started telling me horrible things. Private sexual things about my friends. E...Especially Fujiko-chan. I won't tell you what but...some of the stuff was bad. He saw how it made me react. I tried reasoning with him, but they kept on coming. Filthy words that no one should be able to use...He made another comment, and I...told him that if he didn't shut his trap, I'd shut it for him. But he just wouldn't stop. God, I can't even remember everything anymore...I snapped. Punched him in the mouth. Split his lip. He attacked, and I fought back. He got a good bruise on my cheek, and one to my gut. I landed the one in his eye. I finally got hold of myself, just as he sent a fist at me. I caught it with my hand, and squeezed a little, and told him it was enough....apparently, he hadn't thought so. But...I used an old Karate move I learned with Jin, and he fell unconscious. I brought him to one of his old team-mates, and went to my room..." He finished off, ashamed.
Kabaji put a firm hand on Kawamura's shoulder. "We'll work through this," Kabaji said confidently, taking a seat next to his friend. "Though, now that I've heard the story, I don't think you were in your 'burning mode'." By now, Kabaji was convinced that Kawamura's "Burning Mode" was limited to only when he had a racket in his hands and that the incident with Marui was simply because the other student couldn't keep his mouth shut. He sighed. That was the problem with some tennis players; they had to keep talking, provoking and prodding whomever was within a few feet of them.
"Thank you, Kabaji-kun." It made him feel better that he knew he could count on the younger boy. He listened to the other, but he wasn't sure...."It was the same feeling though...I mean. Burning mode is hard to explain. When I pick up my racket, all my focus is on that little green ball. Adrenaline starts pumping, and I start to feel like I'm outside, watching the match instead of playing it. I don't know if that makes any sense to you at all but...I'm not 100% in control. And for the first time...I felt that same feeling, with the same focus, only...it was on another human and not some little ball." Taka admitted slowly.
Similar, yet different, Kabaji thought, pondering the issue. "It makes sense." He paused again, trying to figure it all out. He still wasn't convinced that Kawamura was taking his tennis style and turning it on another human being. The Kawamura he knew had way too much self control for that, plus, the older man was too timid. "I think it quite possible that maybe this was an isolated incident."
"I've thought about that...but...it's haunting me. What if it isn't? And...I can't seem to break my tennis, though I've been trying for nearly three weeks now." Taka said, looking over at Kabaji with somewhat lost eyes.
Kabaji laughed. "You expected to break your tennis so quickly?" he asked. "Three weeks isn't enough time to let your mental state register a forced change." Kabaji, himself, was a little hesitant to try to break his technique for fear that he wouldn't really have any ability besides raw power left.
Chuckling embarrassingly to himself, he rubbed the back of his head with a hand. "Ah, I guess you're right...."
"I think you are a bit stressed, my friend," Kabaji said. "Things will work themselves out. Tennis, this issue, everything, but you need to be patient and stop trying to rush things and force the answers and solutions to come to you."
"Maybe...maybe you're right. I just....With that, and poor Fujiko-chan and Dan-kun getting attacked...I'll admit I'm using it as an excuse to try and wear myself out at night..."
"It won't help them if you are exhausted. Do you think your friends would like it if they knew you were doing this to yourself because of them? They would feel horrible," Kabaji admonished. Kawamura's heart was in the right place, but he was too emotionally involved to think rationally.
"I'm...doing it so I sleep at night. Otherwise, I lay awake at night and...my thoughts stray to the fight, or to the attack..." He felt so at ease with Kabaji, that he was letting things come out without thinking.
"Not getting enough sleep is going to be detrimental to your health. You're worried which, given the circumstances, is understandable, but if you want to be there for your friends, you can't do this to yourself," Kabaji explained, looking more worried than ever.
"But the nightmares...I have more sleep if I wear myself out." He rebutted softly.
"Are the nightmares there regardless of when you sleep?" Kabaji asked.
"No. If I can wear myself out, I don't remember my dreams, or at least, they don't effect me at all." Taka replied as he scratched his left sideburn.
"It's still not healthy," Kabaji said quietly, somewhat at a loss for how to help Kawamura. "I don't know what we can do to help you."
"I dunno, it's not like it hasn't help me get back in shape faster." He joked, rubbing the back of his head again, embarrassed. "Ah..."
"All positive things aside..." Kabaji looked at Kawamura and gave him a weak smile. "Everything will work out. I have faith in that."
Giving Kabaji a smile in return, he nodded his head. "They always seem to, I guess."
"Care for a tennis match? I haven't been able to play another power player since arriving," Kabaji asked standing up and looking toward the tennis courts.
"I think it's a great idea." Taka replied, grinning, and stood to follow the other.