(no subject)
Ok so today I had another meeting with Deborah (my counselor). I told her how I havn't been doing so well lately. I told her that I have been feeling depressed, for what seems like NO reason at all. She told me to get a notebook, and for everyday to write about how I am feeling...yeah let's see how that works. Then she brought up possibly medicating me. I don't know how I feel about that at all. I don't like the fact that I will have to rely on medication to get better instead of myself. I felt awful after I left too. I was crying while I was driving home listening to sad songs. Haa haa, it was pathetic...seriosly. It's funny thinking about it now I guess, but at the time I felt like shit. I hate this because I am not even excited for my party tomorrow. All I feel like doing is sitting in my room and watching movies all day. I don't know how to explain it but I guess I kind of feel embarassed to be around people. I don't know why, but I just do. I feel ashamed about myself. I don't understand. But I hate this...I really do. But I know as soon as I see my wonderful frineds tomorrow, I will feel better. Ok I will see most of you tomorrow.