Cruisin' Together
Sarah and I recently returned from cruising the Caribbean. That's right. Mr. Anti Disney/Dollywood/Cruise has now done all 3 (though the first 2 were GC-sponsored and funded) and lived (sort of) to tell about it.
We are not cruising people. We enjoy quiet vacations or experiencing new cities; not in-your-face entertainment and round-the-clock gluttony. I have an allergy for what I call Zero Imagination Vacations. In fact, hours before embarking on the cruise, I had a mini meltdown at our house. I knew I'd be out of my element. I feared that I wouldn't have my kind of fun and in doing so would unintentionally bring down my fellow cruisers. I didn't know if I'd packed the right items, if I'd packed too much, and generally had no clue what to expect. I also wasn't fond of leaving Atticus alone for 9 days and wanted to take him for a walk before he'd be banished to the interior.
The walk was just what both of us needed. Sarah and I left shortly after and headed to the Atlanta Airport Hilton for the night. We had sushi (the perfect Black Friday feast; so light and refreshing after all that food) and went to a nearby theater hoping to see Fantastic Mr. Fox. There, we were treated to another version of Black Friday, this one featuring us as the only white people at the movies. Our showtime was 7:35 and it was already 7:45. After weaving through the indoor ticket line (the times were only advertised behind the ticket counter), it would have been 8:00 and a good chunk of the already short movie would have lapsed. So, we headed back to the hotel, had some drinks at the sports bar (where I became temporarily confused watching a replay of last year's Ravens-Steelers game), and the next morning flew down to O-Town.
After a near hour-long transfer service, we met up with our good friends E.B. and Jeffery Hunter, and a good number of E.B.'s extended family, at the Port Canaveral Raddison. Acknowledging that we're not cruise people, we said that if we ever went on one, it would be with the Hunters. So, when E.B. called us early in the year to say that her mom, Debbie, was scheduling a big boat outing and wanted us to come along, we said "yes."
But before our friends arrived, while we were waiting for our room to be cleaned, we had a run-in with a hotel employee named Clark. We were parked on the sofas, reading our respective books, and couldn't help but notice Clark interacting with various hotel guests. From his chats, we learned that though he looked like a failed skinny porn star, he was actually a runner and former tutor. Hoping...no, praying that he would leave us alone, I was startled moments later by someone saying, "Michael Shay-bon?" It was Clark. I shook my head "no," thinking he was mistaking me for a cruiser by that name, and looked up to see him pointing at my book (Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon) and raving about the writings of what sounded like a French painter. I said that since Chabon is Jewish, I figured his last name was pronounced "Chay-bin," but wasn't sure. Clark countered by informing us that not only is he well-read, but also fluent in French and a poet! Finally, with enough silence on our part, he left us alone.
The Bell/Hunter/Burns crowd arrived and the next day we shuttled to the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas. Once aboard, we toured some of the ship and, after securing some drinks, parked ourselves on the upper deck for the bon voyage moment. We soon found that cruising is a great way to travel. Like an all-inclusive resort, all of your necessities are provided, but on a cruise you get to visit multiple places. (Duh, Edwin...) The room is small, but plenty big for sleeping, bathing, and dressing. Opening its door also reminded me of Hill 330, my freshman year dorm room, during the first few weeks, odors included. There's ample shade on the next-highest deck and it's not difficult to find a quiet spot (though yakking yankees are everywhere). No one is trying to sell you anything, except the bar employees hawking the Drink of the Day (with a cup that's yours to keep). The exercise room is excellent, especially the sweat towels and TVs on each elliptical machine, treadmill, and stationary bike, though there's a noticeable lack of fans.
But the main attraction was the food. The basic round-the-clock buffet at the Windjammer Cafe was excellent. Salads, fruit, vegetables, meats, pastas, world cuisine and more all tasted fresh (besides the pre-made omelets). We'd typically eat a good-sized breakfast around 9:30 and would have no need for lunch. Where Royal Caribbean truly shined was in the main dining hall at supper. Our fantastic waiters, Wayan and Courtney, served up equally fantastic meals (and inspired the cheer "Wayan is the man! Courtney, best at sea!). I typically had one appetizer and a salad (in addition to Caesar, there was an intriguing alternative each night), followed by the main course of my dreams. Over the week, I had shrimp ravioli, roasted duck, lamb, surf and turf, lobster tails. All of it was delicious. Afterward, Sarah and I split a desert, ranging from our beloved crème brûlée to chocolate ice cream. Eating sensibly and exercising nearly each day kept us from gaining the average daily pound, and we never felt hungry.
Our 4 days on land were pretty spiffy as well. We added Haiti, Grand Cayman, and Mexico to our world travel maps and revisited Jamaica. RC's private beach of Labadee offered calm waters and just enough shade. Ocho Rios, Jamaica, provided the memorable climb of Dunn's River Falls with a bunch of crazy white people. The sidewalks of Georgetown, Grand Cayman, were only designed for 1 person at a time and the locals have no word for "shade," so there is little available in town. But Cozumel, Mexico, was the most fun of all. Ice cold $1 cervesas were available all over the town and we found the most perfectly-timed Mexican food of my life at Poncho's Backyard. Jeffery also provided some quality entertainment in his quest for mucho cervesas, including an incident with customs while trying to sneak a bottle of Corona onto the boat that provided the quote of the cruise: "Check it? Check it for what? It's beer!"
One night, we made our way to the Schooner Bar to play "Name That Tune" with the piano lounge stylings of Australia's own Paul O'Shea. Sarah and I correctly identified 18 out of 20 songs, but since not all of our titles were exactly correct (i.e. "September '63" is not technically "Oh What A Night"), our official score was 14. Post-contest, we stayed around and made a few requests, and in the process fulfilled one of Sarah's lifelong dreams: being a back-up singer. We let loose our falsettos, most notably on the "la la la la la" chorus from "Crocodile Rock" and the end of "Benny and the Jets," much to the fellow attendees' delight. Once E.B. and Jeffery joined us, the girls formed a 2-person chorus line for the end of "New York, New York," followed by a duet of Sandy's part on "Summer Lovin'." It was faaantastic.
When we'd drunk our last BBC and played our final game of ERS, we docked back in Port Canaveral and departed RCI for MCO and then to ATL. Cruising ended up being a wonderful experience. I don't think the Caribbean is the best destination for us (being a shade-seeking people), but cruising the Mediterranean and Alaska are now high-ranking future vacations. Now that I've got my land legs back (which took a week of dizziness, though only while at work...), I'm glad to be back on stable ground, though the trip has definitely changed my opinion on cruising, though Gwyneth Paltrow was helpful as well.
We are not cruising people. We enjoy quiet vacations or experiencing new cities; not in-your-face entertainment and round-the-clock gluttony. I have an allergy for what I call Zero Imagination Vacations. In fact, hours before embarking on the cruise, I had a mini meltdown at our house. I knew I'd be out of my element. I feared that I wouldn't have my kind of fun and in doing so would unintentionally bring down my fellow cruisers. I didn't know if I'd packed the right items, if I'd packed too much, and generally had no clue what to expect. I also wasn't fond of leaving Atticus alone for 9 days and wanted to take him for a walk before he'd be banished to the interior.
The walk was just what both of us needed. Sarah and I left shortly after and headed to the Atlanta Airport Hilton for the night. We had sushi (the perfect Black Friday feast; so light and refreshing after all that food) and went to a nearby theater hoping to see Fantastic Mr. Fox. There, we were treated to another version of Black Friday, this one featuring us as the only white people at the movies. Our showtime was 7:35 and it was already 7:45. After weaving through the indoor ticket line (the times were only advertised behind the ticket counter), it would have been 8:00 and a good chunk of the already short movie would have lapsed. So, we headed back to the hotel, had some drinks at the sports bar (where I became temporarily confused watching a replay of last year's Ravens-Steelers game), and the next morning flew down to O-Town.
After a near hour-long transfer service, we met up with our good friends E.B. and Jeffery Hunter, and a good number of E.B.'s extended family, at the Port Canaveral Raddison. Acknowledging that we're not cruise people, we said that if we ever went on one, it would be with the Hunters. So, when E.B. called us early in the year to say that her mom, Debbie, was scheduling a big boat outing and wanted us to come along, we said "yes."
But before our friends arrived, while we were waiting for our room to be cleaned, we had a run-in with a hotel employee named Clark. We were parked on the sofas, reading our respective books, and couldn't help but notice Clark interacting with various hotel guests. From his chats, we learned that though he looked like a failed skinny porn star, he was actually a runner and former tutor. Hoping...no, praying that he would leave us alone, I was startled moments later by someone saying, "Michael Shay-bon?" It was Clark. I shook my head "no," thinking he was mistaking me for a cruiser by that name, and looked up to see him pointing at my book (Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon) and raving about the writings of what sounded like a French painter. I said that since Chabon is Jewish, I figured his last name was pronounced "Chay-bin," but wasn't sure. Clark countered by informing us that not only is he well-read, but also fluent in French and a poet! Finally, with enough silence on our part, he left us alone.
The Bell/Hunter/Burns crowd arrived and the next day we shuttled to the Royal Caribbean Freedom of the Seas. Once aboard, we toured some of the ship and, after securing some drinks, parked ourselves on the upper deck for the bon voyage moment. We soon found that cruising is a great way to travel. Like an all-inclusive resort, all of your necessities are provided, but on a cruise you get to visit multiple places. (Duh, Edwin...) The room is small, but plenty big for sleeping, bathing, and dressing. Opening its door also reminded me of Hill 330, my freshman year dorm room, during the first few weeks, odors included. There's ample shade on the next-highest deck and it's not difficult to find a quiet spot (though yakking yankees are everywhere). No one is trying to sell you anything, except the bar employees hawking the Drink of the Day (with a cup that's yours to keep). The exercise room is excellent, especially the sweat towels and TVs on each elliptical machine, treadmill, and stationary bike, though there's a noticeable lack of fans.
But the main attraction was the food. The basic round-the-clock buffet at the Windjammer Cafe was excellent. Salads, fruit, vegetables, meats, pastas, world cuisine and more all tasted fresh (besides the pre-made omelets). We'd typically eat a good-sized breakfast around 9:30 and would have no need for lunch. Where Royal Caribbean truly shined was in the main dining hall at supper. Our fantastic waiters, Wayan and Courtney, served up equally fantastic meals (and inspired the cheer "Wayan is the man! Courtney, best at sea!). I typically had one appetizer and a salad (in addition to Caesar, there was an intriguing alternative each night), followed by the main course of my dreams. Over the week, I had shrimp ravioli, roasted duck, lamb, surf and turf, lobster tails. All of it was delicious. Afterward, Sarah and I split a desert, ranging from our beloved crème brûlée to chocolate ice cream. Eating sensibly and exercising nearly each day kept us from gaining the average daily pound, and we never felt hungry.
Our 4 days on land were pretty spiffy as well. We added Haiti, Grand Cayman, and Mexico to our world travel maps and revisited Jamaica. RC's private beach of Labadee offered calm waters and just enough shade. Ocho Rios, Jamaica, provided the memorable climb of Dunn's River Falls with a bunch of crazy white people. The sidewalks of Georgetown, Grand Cayman, were only designed for 1 person at a time and the locals have no word for "shade," so there is little available in town. But Cozumel, Mexico, was the most fun of all. Ice cold $1 cervesas were available all over the town and we found the most perfectly-timed Mexican food of my life at Poncho's Backyard. Jeffery also provided some quality entertainment in his quest for mucho cervesas, including an incident with customs while trying to sneak a bottle of Corona onto the boat that provided the quote of the cruise: "Check it? Check it for what? It's beer!"
One night, we made our way to the Schooner Bar to play "Name That Tune" with the piano lounge stylings of Australia's own Paul O'Shea. Sarah and I correctly identified 18 out of 20 songs, but since not all of our titles were exactly correct (i.e. "September '63" is not technically "Oh What A Night"), our official score was 14. Post-contest, we stayed around and made a few requests, and in the process fulfilled one of Sarah's lifelong dreams: being a back-up singer. We let loose our falsettos, most notably on the "la la la la la" chorus from "Crocodile Rock" and the end of "Benny and the Jets," much to the fellow attendees' delight. Once E.B. and Jeffery joined us, the girls formed a 2-person chorus line for the end of "New York, New York," followed by a duet of Sandy's part on "Summer Lovin'." It was faaantastic.
When we'd drunk our last BBC and played our final game of ERS, we docked back in Port Canaveral and departed RCI for MCO and then to ATL. Cruising ended up being a wonderful experience. I don't think the Caribbean is the best destination for us (being a shade-seeking people), but cruising the Mediterranean and Alaska are now high-ranking future vacations. Now that I've got my land legs back (which took a week of dizziness, though only while at work...), I'm glad to be back on stable ground, though the trip has definitely changed my opinion on cruising, though Gwyneth Paltrow was helpful as well.