Open Letter to the Shrubya
Why can't I own Canadians?
Thank you for reminding us to obey God's Law..
I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you support a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage..
As you said, "In the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman..
I try to share your knowledge with as many people as I can..
When someone tries to defend homosexual relationships, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination..
End of debate..
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Law and how to follow them...
1
Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations..
A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians..
Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2..
I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7
In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3..
I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev 15:19-24
The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense..
4..
When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev 1:9 The problem is with my neighbors.. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them..
Should I smite them?
5..
I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death.. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6..
A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree..
Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7..
Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight.. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses.. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8..
Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27
How should they die?
9..
I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10.
My uncle has a farm.. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend).. He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot..
Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole neighborhood together to stone them as per Lev24:10-16 Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev 20:14)
11..
I would like to take on a second wife and maybe a few concubines, if I can scrape enough money together.. Are you proposing an amendment to ban compulsory monogamy?
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus possess considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help..
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging, and that our constitution and laws ought to enforce it..