(no subject)
I'm in a funk.
I haven't had a good night of sleep in over two years.
Two years is a very long time.
My brain is rebelling against...well, itself.
My body is suffering as a casualty.
I feel like this will never end, and it may not.
I've tried everything.
I never feel rested.
I never feel quite as happy as I'd like to.
I can be happy, just, I never feel fulfilled.
I have a plan for the next couple years, I don't know if it is the right plan.
I want someone to fix me.
I don't want to be damaged goods.
I don't want to feel like I'm fucking with other people's lives because I can't get my own life straight.
I want the old times back.
The memories are foggy in my mind, but what I remember is good.
I want my memory to work.
I don't want to be confused of what happened, what I think happened, and what is really happening.
What goes up must go down, but must what went down come back up?
I don't think it works that way.
I wish it did.
Well, I should just keep telling myself, shit happens.
Maybe I'll start to believe it.