having "the talk"

Sep 26, 2011 17:34

I somehow stumbled today from reading Autostraddle's NSFW Sunday to reading an advice article for mums who are trying to have "the talk" with their daughters ( Read more... )

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halfbloodme September 26 2011, 10:05:20 UTC
Followed the link on tumblr (realjerseyboi on there just so you can connect the dots).

Sex education for me was mainly the PSE lessons at school. Oh and human reproduction in Biology. We were taught the mechanics, made to put condoms on boiler tubes and basically informed "Sex before marriage is bad" by a teacher who, as much as I love her, had a daughter who was known as the biggest slut that had ever gone through the school. So yeah, most of the girls at my all girls secondary took no notice of her.

My mother didn't feel able to give me the talk, and my sperm donor handed me a pile of porn mags when I was 13 and said "Everything you need to know is in there." In fact he did the same to my younger brother and I had to take on the parental role of giving the talk. I was 21 at the time. Yeah adults in my life weren't great on telling me about much more than the mechanics and none of them applied to me. I mean whilst I hadn't fully accepted my queerness I knew from the moment Sex Ed started at school that I would never use a condom, I knew that I would never sleep with a man.

By contrast, I spent the last two years working in a primary school. The first year I was with Year 5 (9 and 10 year olds) and at that age I had been shown a video of robots that was extremely confusing. The DVD they were shown however, explained periods, the mechanics, what a clitoris is and how it creates pleasure, that boys get wet dreams, and a lot more than I ever learnt. But still no discussion of LGBTQ sex at all.

Sex ed has moved forward in the UK but still there isn't enough talk about what sex means for those that go against the heteronormative. It's made me determined that if I have kids, I'm going to make sure they know about ALL forms of sex and protection.

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tendre_posion September 26 2011, 10:14:33 UTC
Thanks for coming on over :)

I think the 'no sex before marriage' thing is pretty much universal in school sex ed, without it being said. "when a mummy and a daddy", which to any 8, 9, 10 or 11 year old really means "when you're married"

LGBTQ sex ed being missing from every sex ed program makes me really disappointed. I have this inkling that one of my cousins, who is not even 13 yet, might be gay, and he's at a Catholic All-Boys school, and I can bet that he'll get no support, or be told where he can find support if he is gay.

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halfbloodme September 26 2011, 10:20:08 UTC
They say one in every ten people is Queer. If that's the case, on average in every UK classroom, three students are missing out on the education they need. Probably the same in other countries as well. It's disgusting.

And as for single sex religious schools, they're about as much help with sex ed as a chocolate teapot sadly.

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