it been a bad day again.....
*its been a bad day again... she said i would not understand... she left a note and said im sry i... i had a bad day again...*
wow that shit about things bein better took a total fuckin turn.... last night things were not good at all... and today when i got home from school i freaked the fuck out! my stupid bitch ass mom!ugh i just can't deal with her nemore... im gettin to the point where i just have to get the hell out of this fuckin house all the time... or have people here to like prtect me so i don't freak out!!! lately ive mostly been locked up in my room or at school or at cheerleading last week and just busy or im just like being down and in the dark and crap. and its mostly cause i don't feel like dealin with people... like theres certain people i just don't feel like talkin to lately. and like everyday i just feel like i wanna cry all day and the tears never come... its like anger and resentment takes the place of the tears.
i have this feelin like i wanna tel people exactly what is goin on with me and why im upset and all that stuff. like i don't excatly know why im upset... i just no i realy need a break from school and the drama and all... but like i wanna tell people things that have been goin on in my life... and i just can't... i almost do... and then i just stop... alot of time other things come up... but alot of times i just can't bring my self to do it... its one of those things that you just need someone to sit with you in silence and know something is wrong and they comfort you with out words... just with their presences... ya know what i mean??? and thats what i need but i dunno... im just lost right now... and not sure if i want to be found or who can find me or nething like that.... i dunno things just hurt... everything just hurts so bad... and like i don't wanna deal with this world nemore... i really really don't.... and i wish there were a way out....
wow that shit about things bein better took a total fuckin turn.... last night things were not good at all... and today when i got home from school i freaked the fuck out! my stupid bitch ass mom!ugh i just can't deal with her nemore... im gettin to the point where i just have to get the hell out of this fuckin house all the time... or have people here to like prtect me so i don't freak out!!! lately ive mostly been locked up in my room or at school or at cheerleading last week and just busy or im just like being down and in the dark and crap. and its mostly cause i don't feel like dealin with people... like theres certain people i just don't feel like talkin to lately. and like everyday i just feel like i wanna cry all day and the tears never come... its like anger and resentment takes the place of the tears.
i have this feelin like i wanna tel people exactly what is goin on with me and why im upset and all that stuff. like i don't excatly know why im upset... i just no i realy need a break from school and the drama and all... but like i wanna tell people things that have been goin on in my life... and i just can't... i almost do... and then i just stop... alot of time other things come up... but alot of times i just can't bring my self to do it... its one of those things that you just need someone to sit with you in silence and know something is wrong and they comfort you with out words... just with their presences... ya know what i mean??? and thats what i need but i dunno... im just lost right now... and not sure if i want to be found or who can find me or nething like that.... i dunno things just hurt... everything just hurts so bad... and like i don't wanna deal with this world nemore... i really really don't.... and i wish there were a way out....