(no subject)
I must look like crap all the time, since, beyond an occasional "Are you ok?", there is no reaction from across the desk. I started having full-fledged panic attacks on a regular basis, for all the reasons and without any at all. For the first time ever, a thought occured to me today... If I hurt myself, will I get time off, or will it just be more difficult to work? I had to call Naomi today to get her to come in for me, and I think I actually scared her a little. Then again, I don't remember what I said on the phone in the middle of tears and hyperventilating (if that was comprehensible at all), but she was at work within 30 minutes. I've been trying to go home for the last 3 or 4 hours. I guess I am not very convincing. Sorry to the people I called today. I am not on Vancouver Island. I was at work, fighting the urge to curl in a ball under the desk, and I just needed to know there was someone I could at least call. Thank you for your messages. I felt loved. I think I will go back into hiding for a little while, and hopefully things will be better when I come back.