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god okay so the other day i looked at my old livejournal and even went back as far as my old BLURTY lol and honestly i couldn't recommend it to anyone, instead of cringing and lolling about it to myself like i expected i found the whole thing an incredibly depressing experience, see-sawing between being disgusted at myself ("i love good pop - not chart pop, indie pop") and being really disgusted at myself for being such a fucking drama queen, all i ever did was mope. it was mostly really sad, reading about things ridiculously angsty that i can barely remember happening, written in a way that i can't believe i actually wrote like so recently (srsly phase 1 up until god maybe late 2003?), i was writing so frequently that my teen angst my so-called life years are really accurately documented, and in real life they aren't nearly so eloquent or poignant. instead, the angst fucking smashes you over the head again and again until you don't give a shit, hell even i was reading it hoping i would fucking kill myself already. tbh my heart went out to the kid who wrote it who was so desperate that he was making matters worse, but if it had been any other kid i probably wouldn't have. which was why it was so depressing.
moving on, i cannot express how important i feel it is that same difference win the x factor. after their performance of never had a dream come true this week, i realised that no matter who wins the x factor, or how good their voice is (leona lewis excluded), they're going to be given a bland, mediocre pop song to sing. same difference can sing those songs with an earnestness and genuine emotional honesty that's pretty hard to fault through all the peculiar circus/pillow fight/christmas scene choreography. i mean, regardless of how chirpy a song was before they got their hands on it, it will be once they're done with it, in such a way that if they were depressives they would probably turn every song into a dreary dirge that would make even the x factor audience (who would frankly give a standing ovation to Ian Huntley if he could sing a couple of lines of you'll never walk alone out of tune) sinking down into lethargy and penning tearful notes about who gets their meat loaf cds. probably. in some ways it's almost a new kind of honesty: no one has ever sung wake me up before you go-go and really MEANT it before. oh, and also they dress like they're in hi-5 WHEN THEY'RE NOT PERFORMING and jump and dance around a lot. and the girl was bullied or something.
i don't know why i said all that when really sharon osborne's reaction says it all
moving on, i cannot express how important i feel it is that same difference win the x factor. after their performance of never had a dream come true this week, i realised that no matter who wins the x factor, or how good their voice is (leona lewis excluded), they're going to be given a bland, mediocre pop song to sing. same difference can sing those songs with an earnestness and genuine emotional honesty that's pretty hard to fault through all the peculiar circus/pillow fight/christmas scene choreography. i mean, regardless of how chirpy a song was before they got their hands on it, it will be once they're done with it, in such a way that if they were depressives they would probably turn every song into a dreary dirge that would make even the x factor audience (who would frankly give a standing ovation to Ian Huntley if he could sing a couple of lines of you'll never walk alone out of tune) sinking down into lethargy and penning tearful notes about who gets their meat loaf cds. probably. in some ways it's almost a new kind of honesty: no one has ever sung wake me up before you go-go and really MEANT it before. oh, and also they dress like they're in hi-5 WHEN THEY'RE NOT PERFORMING and jump and dance around a lot. and the girl was bullied or something.
i don't know why i said all that when really sharon osborne's reaction says it all
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