(no subject)
i should know that going home for extended periods of time is a bad idea, it only takes a week or so to feel that one is missing out on all this life and opportunity back in london, especially with the internet. in my life i constantly find myself wanting more, envying everyone around me and their seemingly more interesting lives, always wanting things to go the way they plan in my head. is it so much to ask for a little serendipity? for things to suddenly, you know, go really really right? i tire so quickly of trying to see the good. i want obvious good. the kind of good which makes you think, "life is good".
of course, there is obvious good happening, and happening soon. i've moved out of malpas rd and the wheels are in motion for me to move in with sara and alex, and apparently fil now, and that is of course really really exciting. i'm hoping this move will get my life, stagnant for a year now, to flow again, and i can put all the shit that i went through over the last year behind me and move again, and live with great people.
i have a massive box of books arriving for me tomorrow which is fucking exciting. book buying day is my favourite day of the year, the one thing i'm going to miss most when i finish my degree. BUT loads of the books which i wanted to read on my course lists have been changed! no swann's way, no tender is the night, fuckin jealousy and the great gatsby instead. and i have to read crime and punishment now and i don't really want to.reading raymond carver properly for the first time and i really wish life was like that really. except you know, not so sad. just, with people constantly seeming like they're walking through life in a daze with peacocks appearing out of nowhere and old men inviting you to have a drink with them on their front lawn which has been turned into a living room.
of course, there is obvious good happening, and happening soon. i've moved out of malpas rd and the wheels are in motion for me to move in with sara and alex, and apparently fil now, and that is of course really really exciting. i'm hoping this move will get my life, stagnant for a year now, to flow again, and i can put all the shit that i went through over the last year behind me and move again, and live with great people.
i have a massive box of books arriving for me tomorrow which is fucking exciting. book buying day is my favourite day of the year, the one thing i'm going to miss most when i finish my degree. BUT loads of the books which i wanted to read on my course lists have been changed! no swann's way, no tender is the night, fuckin jealousy and the great gatsby instead. and i have to read crime and punishment now and i don't really want to.reading raymond carver properly for the first time and i really wish life was like that really. except you know, not so sad. just, with people constantly seeming like they're walking through life in a daze with peacocks appearing out of nowhere and old men inviting you to have a drink with them on their front lawn which has been turned into a living room.