The Family Man, Chapter 9
Donna and Lee didn’t stay for long after the Doctor’s whispered message to Rose, although they hadn’t overheard it. Instead, their children emerged from the pool with exhausted faces and stifled yawns, and Donna realized their bedtime had come and gone. She pulled Rose into a lazy hug before gathering their things and directing her family to the car, while Lee stayed behind to talk to the Doctor for a minute.
“So we’ll get t-together tomorrow and practice?” Lee asked hopefully. “I’m going to need all the help I can get before my poker party.”
The Doctor promised to do his best, shaking his friend’s hand before seeing him out the front door. When he turned around, Rose was eying him warily.
“I’m going to put the kids to bed,” she said softly. “Then we can talk if you want.”
“Sure,” the Doctor nodded. “Meet me in the TARDIS.”
He used the time to calibrate his instruments and get a better reading on the storm, now centered over Neptune. He studied the output flows cautiously, and was able to discern that the storm was moving at an exponential rate. It would be upon them in a few short days. He swallowed thickly before noticing that Rose had silently entered the ship.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
The Doctor shrugged and tried a lame joke to break the tension.
“It looks like I won’t be making Lee’s poker game,” he said. “The storm will be here by Wednesday.”
Rose frowned as she crossed over to the Time Rotor and examined the latest data.
“My god,” she gasped. “It’s tearing Neptune apart!”
The Doctor dropped his chin and cast his eyes to the floor.
“Is that what it’s going to do to us?” Rose demanded.
“No,” the Doctor answered tightly. “It won’t get to that point. I’m going to take the TARDIS out and get a closer look. If I can just…”
Rose planted herself before him and glared menacingly.
“You’ll do no such thing!” she interrupted. “I’m not going to let you fly into that chaos! You’ll be ripped to shreds or worse! We’re still not sure what it is, exactly!”
The Doctor’s expression softened when he noted her concern, and reached out to pull her closer.
“I actually have an idea about that,” he said uncertainly. “And I’m going to need you to be very open-minded about what I have to say, Rose.”
She twitched, but reigned in her surprise and nodded firmly.
“A few days ago I asked you about Third Venus and a similar electric storm we experienced right after, although you couldn’t recall that phenomenon,” he started.
Rose squinted. “Yes, I remember that conversation,” she assented.
“Well there’s a big problem with that,” the Doctor continued as he brushed a hand through his hair. “Because there was a storm…one that you couldn’t have possibly forgotten. It was shaking the entire ship, and even passed through the hull. We saw it slicing through the deck…right where we’re standing now.”
Rose shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“We had just left Third Venus,” the Doctor said urgently. “And the storm hit unexpectedly. I hardly knew what was happening before everything went black, and I woke up in our bedroom here on Earth. Apparently, many years had passed without my knowledge, although you didn’t seem to notice a thing. I walked through our house, or what I assumed was our house, and found evidence to confirm that we were married, that we had children, that we had been living this life together for a long time…but I didn’t remember any of it.”
Rose looked scared. “What are you saying, Doctor?” she asked in a low voice.
The Doctor cradled his head in his hands and sighed deeply before continuing.
“I’m saying that…as far as I know…we haven’t spent this life together at all Rose. I think this reality as it appears is false. We’ve been placed here by the storm somehow, through its ability to reorder time and space, ripping them apart and then putting them back together again.”
Rose went quiet for a long time, unwilling to look the Doctor in the eyes. When he tried to touch her arm, she pulled back, and shot him the angriest look he’d ever seen. Her eyes flashed dangerously.
“You’re saying that everything we’ve done here is a lie?” she asked vehemently. “That Wil and Sammy are fake? That our marriage is a sham? You think everything about us is just the endgame of some stupid storm, randomly moving us around like chess pieces? Is that what you think Doctor?”
The Doctor sucked in a breath, completely unprepared for her reaction.
“Rose, please!” he begged, holding up his hands in surrender.
“No!” Rose shouted. “You don’t get to pretend that everything we’ve made was for nothing! Please, Doctor! Tell me this is a joke! You’re having a Time Lord’s version of a mid-life crisis! You’ve dreamt this whole thing up! Anything! Just please, don’t destroy what we have!”
Rose was shaking and hyperventilating, and the Doctor barely had time to catch her before she hit the grated floor. He grabbed her possessively, and cradled her in his arms while pressing light kisses to her forehead, allowing her to cry until she couldn’t do it anymore.
“Rose,” he whispered gently. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Rose sobbed a dry, racking sob and pressed her face into his collar weakly.
“I have to go into the storm,” the Doctor said quietly. “I only have hypotheses at this point, and I have to know what can be done to fix all this.”
“Fix it?” Rose asked with a heartbreakingly betrayed look on her face. “You think we need fixing? You want everything to go back to how it was before? All the way back to Third Venus?”
The Doctor pulled Rose up into his arms and set her on the jump seat, as carefully as he could. He moved away from her, just far enough to look her in the eyes as he spoke.
“I didn’t say that,” he answered. “Rose, the last several days have been incredible. I’ve learned more about what I could be…what we could be, and it’s more than I ever thought possible. But it isn’t right. I can feel the misalignment of the timelines, and there will be consequences if we can’t correct them.
“Bugger the timelines!” Rose shouted emotionally. “I’m happy here! We have our friends and family. I’ve got my dad back! My parents are happy. Wil and Sammy are happy. I thought you were too.”
The Doctor tried to keep the tears from forming in his eyes, but they fell anyways. He couldn’t pretend to be unaffected by what she was saying.
“Rose,” he said unsteadily. “I never would have told you any of this, but you are my wife and partner. I want you to understand what that means to me. I don’t want you to be hurt and I don’t want to steal your happiness, that isn’t why I’m sharing all of this with you.”
“Then why?” Rose asked, rubbing her eyes.
“Because you of all people should know what it means to be married to a Time Lord,” he answered harshly. “It’s one of the reasons I resisted romantic attachment to you for so long. Bad things follow me wherever I go, and I knew one day…sooner or later, you’d get caught up in them too. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted, but inevitably, it’s what I always knew I would do.”
He turned his back on her, cursing himself as he gazed out at the interior of his ship. He stared darkly at the monitor depicting the oncoming storm, and felt an uncanny sympathy toward it. Were they such different entities? Didn't the Doctor sweep through the universe, uprooting and demolishing everything in his path? His shoulders sagged in defeat at the thought.
He was surprised when he felt a timid hand on his shoulder, and slowly, he turned around to look into Rose’s eyes. They were intense and determined, as if she’d gained just a little bit of that fire unique to her back already. He felt a flash of admiration as he observed her. He’d always known she was the stronger one of them.
“That’s not all you meant to say,” Rose stated with a tender smile. “I’ve known you for too long now, Doctor. Beyond your self-doubt and your god complex, there are feelings buried there. Tell me why you really wanted to share all this with me. What do I mean to you?”
The Doctor couldn’t stifle a half-hearted laugh. She saw right through him.
“I meant to say that…I may not have chosen this life, Rose…not in the way that one normally does. I wasn’t aware of our first kiss or our wedding, and I’ve only caught bits and pieces through the photos and videos around the house, or through other people’s memories. But if I was given the ability to choose, I would do it just like this."
The Doctor blinked, and felt a fresh tear make its way down his cheek. Rose reached up to brush it aside, and kissed him tenderly.
The Doctor smiled and bit his lower lip as he gazed down into her eyes.
“I told you all of this because you’re the one person I can trust no matter the circumstances. You’ve always believed in me, especially when I haven’t. What you mean to me is this. I’ve spent my whole life running away, partly because I was afraid and partly because I was searching for something. Both of those things changed when I met you, Rose. I wasn’t afraid anymore because I found someone who filled all my doubt with absolute love and grace. And I wasn’t searching for anything because I’d found all I ever needed to look for. That inscription on your wedding band is no empty sentiment Rose. My hearts are in yours because they find respite there. Everything else can fall apart, for all I care. Of course, the way things are looking now...they might just."
The Doctor stopped speaking and licked his lips, hoping that what he said was enough. Rose brought his hand up and kissed it tenderly before resting it on the side of her face.
“If it does fall apart, I’ll be right here beside you,” Rose answered.
The Doctor pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately. She pulled back just enough to make him sway toward her and groan, frustrated at her loss. But Rose found his hand and pulled him after her, leaving the TARDIS behind as they went into the darkened house and down the long hallway. Rose paused outside of their bedroom door and peered up at him meaningfully. The Doctor cleared his throat nervously, but nodded, and pushed the door open with his hands on her hips.
"If this is our last night together, I'm going to make the most of it," Rose whispered.
The Doctor grunted softly as her lips trailed down his neck and secured the door behind them. She pushed him away from her, and he fell heavily against their bed in the darkness.
The Doctor couldn’t speak as Rose drew near, her mouth set and eyes determined on what she claimed as her own. She didn’t have to ask because it wasn’t a question anymore. She didn’t have to wonder because she saw the hunger in his eyes and it made her feel alive.
Her hand brushed over his cheek and trailed fingertips down his throat, while her lips parted and brushed a hot tongue over a spot on his collarbone he quickly decided was his favorite. Rose’s mouth moved haphazardly as it passed down over his shirt, lips whispering against the fabric as she sank lower and bent to her knees at the edge of the bed. Her hands pulled at his belt and scratched deliciously down his thighs as she pulled his pants off. The Doctor was left flushed and stuttering silently, too scared to stop her and wholly uncertain if he wanted to. It was no small piece of him that urged her on, wordlessly begging for her to touch him fully and take what was hers.
Rose started to work her way back up, kissing his hard shaft over his boxer-briefs and eliciting a strangled gasp from the Doctor. Her fingers moved to the waistband, and dragged it down as she rolled her chest over his lower body. Rose licked her lips and pushed off of him to shrug out of her dress with lightning-quick ease, eager to join with him back on the bed as soon as possible. But the Doctor sat up and grabbed her hips to hold her steady, unwilling to let her move for a moment. His eyes scanned over her body in the dim moonlight appreciatively.
Rose blushed under his scrutiny, but didn’t look away.
“You are so beautiful,” he swore breathlessly as he savored the feeling of the heat between their bodies.
“Doctor…” Rose whispered back lovingly.
“I mean it,” the Doctor continued. “I’ve been to countless worlds and seen the most beautiful women the galaxy has to offer…and none of them…not one compares to you.”
Rose faltered, her hands bracing on his forearms as she sank down beside him on the bed.
The Doctor swept his hands over her shoulders and reveled in the feeling of her blonde hair playing over the back of his fingers. As he stared into her hazel eyes, an overwhelming feeling hit him like a storm breaking over the desert.
“All this time,” he said achingly. “And I never knew. How foolish I've been. This could be real Rose. This could be the two of us, building this life together…”
“This is real,” Rose answered urgently as she interlaced her fingers with his and eased him onto his back. She straddled his naked waist and settled her warm center over his length, gently swaying back and forth. “We’re real.”
“I love you,” he exhaled as he entered her, feeling her tighten around him. “I love you Rose Tyler. I love you and I love our life and I love our children…”
“And I love you,” Rose answered, replacing his litany with a series of soft moans.
He rocked up and into her, breathing in the scent of her lotion like an exotic perfume. He turned so that he could hold her against him on their sides, trading the easy thrusts of sex into lovemaking of the most intimate kind.
“I don’t want to go, Rose,” he confessed, suddenly needy as her head tilted back in pleasure. “I want to stay here with you. Forever.”
“Forever,” Rose agreed as her pleasure mounted, as the Doctor lost himself in the rocking motion of their bodies.
He knew he was crying but he didn’t care. He only wanted this moment with Rose, with his wife, and he wanted it to last forever. And suddenly she was climaxing, and her throaty gasps were sending him over the edge too, tightening his hands around the soft curves of her hips and pressing in deeper.
“I love you, I love you,” he whispered. “Stay with me.”
His words drifted off into her hair as Rose smiled back at him, feeling for the beats of his two hearts as she kissed his brow.
“Always,” she sighed back.
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