wow its late
i think i may have been abducted by aliens. or maybe jsut preoccupied. boys are dumb. i feel dumb right now though. this is kind of nice to write. even though i know people are gonna read this, oh well.
i apparently offended pat. :( i feel retarded. i apologized. he said its okay. hes a liar, but i cant really blame him. i originally got pissed because he was mad at me- but how rediculous is that? so what if i dont agree with his reasons, he still felt that way, and that alone made it valid. *sigh* i was mostly mad because he got so upset, and said i was dumb. which isnt cool, but whatever, i can get over it. anyways- he got upset, and i was so obviously kidding. and i put up with his stupid sexist shit all the time. and i think hes only kidding sometimes. i dont know how to explain, and of course i may be wrong, but sometimes it really is offensive, im just a tad soft spoken and dont know what is gonna make him mad. which is really dumb, i guess. cause i really shouldnt care if its really how i feel. but those kind of things dont matter that much to me, maybe if he was an asshole about it, and just outright said women are stupid and inferior. actually, he has said that, but in a cute, psuedo-joking manner. commercials are dumb. and i wrote poetry tonight. thats something i havent done in a long ass time. its was mind clearing, but it had broken thoughts, i dont usually right like that. and it was a little pathetic. oh well. here it is.
So cold
This is the coldest room in the house
Theres a vent
Wheres the heat
Do I draw it away
Horoscopes are my religion
My crutch
Tear-away logic
My mind tends to numb
Though my heart compensates
Always warm
Never closed
My glitch
Maybe I should fix my hearts hinges
Wait a little
Keep it to myself
At least close my blinds
And my legs
Maybe
Maybe
Positive momentum
Romantic partnership
Reexamine
Good advice
Bad execution
Shine
Im more so dull tonight
Oh, tonight
These words are broken
As is my thought
This song sucks
Not quite a useful muse
-im 18 an’ live a crazy life-
suck balls
blur is better
although sad songs tend to aid
in my self pity
sometimes its healthy
I think
I think
I should stop
Thinking
I have a dumb mouth
He was right
Actually I have dumb hands
Seeing as ive been speechless all night
With the exception of laughter
Of course
No more of that
I suppose
I should stop
Before I regret more
Wallowing in self pity
No more
Used my out
Pixilated emotions
For lack of pen
Paper
And use of frozen hands
Shaking too much to hold
A pen, anyways
and that took forever...
im done. im sick of typing.
bye.
"i yell because i care"
i apparently offended pat. :( i feel retarded. i apologized. he said its okay. hes a liar, but i cant really blame him. i originally got pissed because he was mad at me- but how rediculous is that? so what if i dont agree with his reasons, he still felt that way, and that alone made it valid. *sigh* i was mostly mad because he got so upset, and said i was dumb. which isnt cool, but whatever, i can get over it. anyways- he got upset, and i was so obviously kidding. and i put up with his stupid sexist shit all the time. and i think hes only kidding sometimes. i dont know how to explain, and of course i may be wrong, but sometimes it really is offensive, im just a tad soft spoken and dont know what is gonna make him mad. which is really dumb, i guess. cause i really shouldnt care if its really how i feel. but those kind of things dont matter that much to me, maybe if he was an asshole about it, and just outright said women are stupid and inferior. actually, he has said that, but in a cute, psuedo-joking manner. commercials are dumb. and i wrote poetry tonight. thats something i havent done in a long ass time. its was mind clearing, but it had broken thoughts, i dont usually right like that. and it was a little pathetic. oh well. here it is.
So cold
This is the coldest room in the house
Theres a vent
Wheres the heat
Do I draw it away
Horoscopes are my religion
My crutch
Tear-away logic
My mind tends to numb
Though my heart compensates
Always warm
Never closed
My glitch
Maybe I should fix my hearts hinges
Wait a little
Keep it to myself
At least close my blinds
And my legs
Maybe
Maybe
Positive momentum
Romantic partnership
Reexamine
Good advice
Bad execution
Shine
Im more so dull tonight
Oh, tonight
These words are broken
As is my thought
This song sucks
Not quite a useful muse
-im 18 an’ live a crazy life-
suck balls
blur is better
although sad songs tend to aid
in my self pity
sometimes its healthy
I think
I think
I should stop
Thinking
I have a dumb mouth
He was right
Actually I have dumb hands
Seeing as ive been speechless all night
With the exception of laughter
Of course
No more of that
I suppose
I should stop
Before I regret more
Wallowing in self pity
No more
Used my out
Pixilated emotions
For lack of pen
Paper
And use of frozen hands
Shaking too much to hold
A pen, anyways
and that took forever...
im done. im sick of typing.
bye.
"i yell because i care"