Delusions...
Well, things don't seem to be going so good at the moment. I'm falling apart. I have no job, no future and nothing at all. Losing it and losing my humanity. Each day, it gets worse and I can't do much about it. I snap way too easily. My mother doesn't make it any better....she antagonizes me and gets in my face....I try to keep calm...but I can't. Today was the first time I ever put my hands on my "mother." She tried to slap me in the face but I dodged it, then I went to choke her, pressed her up against the wall with nearly full force. It's not healthy to think about killing my own mom, because I always think about doing it. Even when she is sober, I can't stand her half of the time. Even though it may sound cold and harsh....I just want her to die sometimes. Living in a world without my mom would make things so much easier. For my future, my lifestyle and most of all, my family. Every time there is irrational behavior, I always ask myself "what would Bruce Lee do?" I try to be calm and think about him, but then I lose my temper, and disappoint him as well. Because the thing is, I'm not Bruce Lee. It's hard to be like him and think of what he'd do in my situation or any other. I don't want anything to do with this woman that calls herself my mother.