Everybody's high on consolation
Everything seems to be changing at once. This year seems so different from last year, I don't know why yet. Maybe it's the classes I'm taking, they are so odd and not connected to each other. In the morning I have Mr. Miller talking about art and meaning and the way we learn and the way we are taught, how he thinks art class is the hardest class in the school, and even though I'm not very good at art, to be surrounded by it every morning just makes me so happy, the way he seems to love it so much, the way he talks to us and with us, it's so natural and unforced learning. Then I go to AP English to hear Mrs. Speece tell me how to write a sentence and read a book, it's so structured and motionless. Then I have McCracken, a teacher whom I feel so connected with, a teacher that constantly tells me how I inspire her. I can tell that I'm learning more with her than I ever have before because she doesn't force it on anyone, she knows how to connect with everyone. Then Madame Irish who is like Mrs. Speece and tries so hard to teach and structure, there's no room to learn spontaneously.
I think a lot of things are going to change this year. I constantly replay a conversation I had with my dad about friends in High School. He met his best friend, my uncle Jack, junior year. They stayed friends until he died this year from cancer, my dad said how it's so hard to maintain that sort of friendship and that not many people can. He told me something I didn't want to hear, that my friendship with Kate might not make it after high school or college. That even though we may stay in touch, it will never be the same as it was when we were younger. That change is right around the corner. I keep thinking about my dad and uncle Jack, the way they had to say goodbye, it makes me incredibly sad to hear him talk about it. Whenever he mentions Jack I just don't know what to do, I miss him a lot but I can't imagine how much my dad misses him.
I think a lot of things are going to change this year. I constantly replay a conversation I had with my dad about friends in High School. He met his best friend, my uncle Jack, junior year. They stayed friends until he died this year from cancer, my dad said how it's so hard to maintain that sort of friendship and that not many people can. He told me something I didn't want to hear, that my friendship with Kate might not make it after high school or college. That even though we may stay in touch, it will never be the same as it was when we were younger. That change is right around the corner. I keep thinking about my dad and uncle Jack, the way they had to say goodbye, it makes me incredibly sad to hear him talk about it. Whenever he mentions Jack I just don't know what to do, I miss him a lot but I can't imagine how much my dad misses him.