Yes. This is a quote from my adult psychopathology prof. I should have probably explained this. Basically, if you think that someone mistreated you and "scarred" you, it's really not them. You chose to be scarred by them, you chose to stay with them and be jealous, or hurt, or whatever. Since you chose to stay with them, or endure this and feel this emotion, you are ready to feel a certain way.
If someone rejects you, it is up to you to feel hurt. If it hurts your self-esteem ("oh my god, I'm terrible with women. I'll never talk to women again!"), then you set up your self-esteem to get hurt, rather than just experienceing dissappointment ("wow, well that sucks. oh well, I wouldn't want to be with someone who so rudely rejects people anyways"). Therefore, the rejection reinforces the lack of self-esteem in you.
This says that you are responsible for your emotional experience, not those who "cause" it. No one is perfect in the sense that they have nothing "messed up" inside of them, so inevitably, people that you love will bring out your self-confidence issues, or people will provoke anger, etc. No one is perfect.
This does not place the blame from people who do mean things. They are still choosing to do an action that is likely to trigger anger or lack of confidence or whatever in you. This is just saying that you choose to feel a certain way based on how you take your experiences and what it evokes in you.
Basically, if you think that someone mistreated you and "scarred" you, it's really not them. You chose to be scarred by them, you chose to stay with them and be jealous, or hurt, or whatever. Since you chose to stay with them, or endure this and feel this emotion, you are ready to feel a certain way.
If someone rejects you, it is up to you to feel hurt. If it hurts your self-esteem ("oh my god, I'm terrible with women. I'll never talk to women again!"), then you set up your self-esteem to get hurt, rather than just experienceing dissappointment ("wow, well that sucks. oh well, I wouldn't want to be with someone who so rudely rejects people anyways"). Therefore, the rejection reinforces the lack of self-esteem in you.
This says that you are responsible for your emotional experience, not those who "cause" it. No one is perfect in the sense that they have nothing "messed up" inside of them, so inevitably, people that you love will bring out your self-confidence issues, or people will provoke anger, etc. No one is perfect.
This does not place the blame from people who do mean things. They are still choosing to do an action that is likely to trigger anger or lack of confidence or whatever in you. This is just saying that you choose to feel a certain way based on how you take your experiences and what it evokes in you.
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