Confessions..
I cant keep this in any longer. Hell its been stressin me for some time now..Even miz noticed it a couple days back on the phone from my voice.., how she did ill never know, just one of the many good traits she has. Its killin me that I didnt tell her right then as it stands.. In any case, this is tough for me to say..to be frank, homecoming is next saturday..with that said im excited to see my "sweetcheeks" haha, again. Quite frankly if it werent for this one thing.. i wouldnt even be worried..but this one thing..im afraid could screw this relationship up. I could be blowing this completely outta proportion like she did with the whole jehovah's witness thing, but still..this..just..i dunno.. , not something that you can be like "hey its all good youll make it just keep your head up!"
Anyway im gonna stop stalling and say that thing ive been somewhat stressed about. To be blunt..im not a great dancer..there i said it. Secrets outta the bag. Never actually said that to anyone either..mostly ive played it off, cause i mean, i was younger, not many guys danced anyway at the homecomings and back to school dances etc., but now, i have a girl who enjoys it and so do i, just that I cant do it well enough with rhythm. And no ladies and gents, i can dance somewhat, the "grind" and slow dance, but any fool can do that, its the other things i cant do. You might be a little confused but yea i just havent been able to do it yet. I swear, seriously, when they were passing out the notes on how to dance I was asleep or something. I feel..i donno..just nervous i guess, parnoid of what could happen, hell i might embarrass her, shes been talking of how great I am to all her friends and then id feel like i let her down. That her "boytoy"(mind you this is only time ill acknowledge that..ever.) just ain't up to par with others and she'll just move on..that would suck all cause I couldnt dance that well. Some would say just dont go and keep her in the dark..but I seriously cant do that, its not me without honesty i got nothin, but im not a coward, nor will i pass up the opportunity to see her in all her glory on that night,im willing to make that sacrafice. Even if she does look at me differently..though that would damber things considerably..I sound like some emotional idiot..but whatever, this is* my dam journal. I just..I dont even know. Im not a good dancer, and I really hate the fact that im not you know? Like ive been told it comes natural once you step on, wtf nah it def doesnt, maybe its all the people staring at me? Probably though i normally like crowds..when i know what im doing that is..heh. Or maybe its just me. Mind you of course, I wanna still go, but if she's not happy then..I donno heh. Stuff happens when you do stuff...Im feeling so much more than what im typing its not even funny, but thatll be expressed on the phone if there is a phone convo..looks like im joining the pessimistic club! WOOHOO! not..
Still, now that this is outta the bag, I wonder how shes going to react what would go through her mind. Disappointment? yep. Angered? Possibly. and it REALLY bugs me that I couldnt say this on the phone, well actually I could but I saw this as an easier route, but then again shes probably asleep right now and if i hadnt typed this, I wouldnt have gone to sleep heh. Lifes just dandy..cept for that dandy part..
Tempest
Side note: IN other news Rodney Dangerfield kicked the bucket. Also Pres debates went on again. yay...sigh..karole has taken over my mind as of late. Too many scenarious playin out in my head, and they are ALL bad. we'll see..
Anyway im gonna stop stalling and say that thing ive been somewhat stressed about. To be blunt..im not a great dancer..there i said it. Secrets outta the bag. Never actually said that to anyone either..mostly ive played it off, cause i mean, i was younger, not many guys danced anyway at the homecomings and back to school dances etc., but now, i have a girl who enjoys it and so do i, just that I cant do it well enough with rhythm. And no ladies and gents, i can dance somewhat, the "grind" and slow dance, but any fool can do that, its the other things i cant do. You might be a little confused but yea i just havent been able to do it yet. I swear, seriously, when they were passing out the notes on how to dance I was asleep or something. I feel..i donno..just nervous i guess, parnoid of what could happen, hell i might embarrass her, shes been talking of how great I am to all her friends and then id feel like i let her down. That her "boytoy"(mind you this is only time ill acknowledge that..ever.) just ain't up to par with others and she'll just move on..that would suck all cause I couldnt dance that well. Some would say just dont go and keep her in the dark..but I seriously cant do that, its not me without honesty i got nothin, but im not a coward, nor will i pass up the opportunity to see her in all her glory on that night,im willing to make that sacrafice. Even if she does look at me differently..though that would damber things considerably..I sound like some emotional idiot..but whatever, this is* my dam journal. I just..I dont even know. Im not a good dancer, and I really hate the fact that im not you know? Like ive been told it comes natural once you step on, wtf nah it def doesnt, maybe its all the people staring at me? Probably though i normally like crowds..when i know what im doing that is..heh. Or maybe its just me. Mind you of course, I wanna still go, but if she's not happy then..I donno heh. Stuff happens when you do stuff...Im feeling so much more than what im typing its not even funny, but thatll be expressed on the phone if there is a phone convo..looks like im joining the pessimistic club! WOOHOO! not..
Still, now that this is outta the bag, I wonder how shes going to react what would go through her mind. Disappointment? yep. Angered? Possibly. and it REALLY bugs me that I couldnt say this on the phone, well actually I could but I saw this as an easier route, but then again shes probably asleep right now and if i hadnt typed this, I wouldnt have gone to sleep heh. Lifes just dandy..cept for that dandy part..
Tempest
Side note: IN other news Rodney Dangerfield kicked the bucket. Also Pres debates went on again. yay...sigh..karole has taken over my mind as of late. Too many scenarious playin out in my head, and they are ALL bad. we'll see..