naked juice is the only thing that keeps me living nowadays.

[tempa_temper]

awkward. awkward is the entity that always makes me feel so unnerved to come back. yesterday night could have been the death of me. you don't realize how awkward you make everything, so much more so. their eyes sends shivers down my spine, and the fact that you don't stand up to make everything so much more relaxed, but to just sit there dumbfounded gives me the urge to backhand you. how could you be like that especially if she was around?! she wanted nothing more but to be in company of you guys, and now she never wants to come back. and of course, look how the presence of marijuana was in the picture!! oh how i wanted to take the sack and flush it down the toilet. it would have made everything so much more inconvienient and uncomfortable, but at least that wouldn't had been the factor. and now look at the present me... not answering your calls just because i'm so enbarresed to have came over last night. i just feel so unwelcome all the time, even if you do appologize as do they. i can see it in their eyes, theyre so afraid of what i think... they don't know that i feel the exact same way. i wish i could vanish and all you could see was the remains of my pride. i always feel as if i have to shove it way down, so you don't see how embarressed i feel all the time.

these cold shoulders and giving me frost bite. i must warm up somehow.