(no subject)
I'm putting all my kids on hiatus. I don't know...I've hit my limit I think.
This marks 10 years of RPG for me...and I've finally decided that I'm sick of it. I'm a 20 year old that sits in her parents' basement, roleplaying with people I don't even know, writing the weirdest stuff...when I could be out in the world, getting my life started. Doing what I should be doing. I've been saying all my life that I'm going to be a musician, whether it be famous or not...I want to perform. Have I? No. Time that should've been spent in rehearsal and getting connections and practicing with other people was instead spent writing fictional scenes about celebrities...people that I wish I was. People I could be, if I just quit right now. I always thought that it'd be really creepy if I became famous and someone wrote an RPG journal as me, but it never really struck me that I'm just pretending to be someone else. It has now.
This doesn't necessarily mean the end of RPG right now for me, because I might change my mind in a week and come back. I might not. For my sake, I hope I don't. I love you all, and I'm very grateful for the friendships I've gained through RPG, but lately it's been boring. I've actually dreaded logging in my OOC screen name, because I knew that at least two or three people would ask if I wanted to write another scene tonight, or finish one that we had started the previous night. I'm tired of having things like that expected of me...sometimes I just don't feel like RPing, y'know? Sometimes it'll hit me how weird the concept really is, to pretend to be someone else.
So yeah. To all of you who are in RPG communities with me, and saw my message...that's pretty much the explaination. If you know someone in the group who is wondering about me and doesn't know, please fill them in. I don't want to leave people hanging. Thanks.
This marks 10 years of RPG for me...and I've finally decided that I'm sick of it. I'm a 20 year old that sits in her parents' basement, roleplaying with people I don't even know, writing the weirdest stuff...when I could be out in the world, getting my life started. Doing what I should be doing. I've been saying all my life that I'm going to be a musician, whether it be famous or not...I want to perform. Have I? No. Time that should've been spent in rehearsal and getting connections and practicing with other people was instead spent writing fictional scenes about celebrities...people that I wish I was. People I could be, if I just quit right now. I always thought that it'd be really creepy if I became famous and someone wrote an RPG journal as me, but it never really struck me that I'm just pretending to be someone else. It has now.
This doesn't necessarily mean the end of RPG right now for me, because I might change my mind in a week and come back. I might not. For my sake, I hope I don't. I love you all, and I'm very grateful for the friendships I've gained through RPG, but lately it's been boring. I've actually dreaded logging in my OOC screen name, because I knew that at least two or three people would ask if I wanted to write another scene tonight, or finish one that we had started the previous night. I'm tired of having things like that expected of me...sometimes I just don't feel like RPing, y'know? Sometimes it'll hit me how weird the concept really is, to pretend to be someone else.
So yeah. To all of you who are in RPG communities with me, and saw my message...that's pretty much the explaination. If you know someone in the group who is wondering about me and doesn't know, please fill them in. I don't want to leave people hanging. Thanks.