(no subject)
sometimes i wish everything was all black and white ♥
These past few days have been emotional for me. i am moving away again..this time for the last time, but still an hour away from everything. away from everything one more time is still too much. But still apart of me is focused on the positive...more than would seem and i think that is what is scaring me the most. I am not upset about Brian.. i moved away from someone i loved once and i found a new love...i can do it again. An hour is nothing, i know, but I want to look at it as an opportunity to find something new and exciting. I want to go to a new school and meet new people. I feel bad because the reason makes me feel like i am two-faced. I tell my "friends" that i love them, and i do..but somehow i know they wont last...i am starving for something REAL. and i haven't found it yet. so am i a bitch for wanting to leave someone i share something so strong with. is it wrong? i don't think so..not anymore at least. i will admit that it won't be hard for me, and i am sorry for being so blunt. maybe i just know that you will never read this and so my thoughts aren't censored. and they shouldn't be. i have no regrets. i live for the moment..well at least i try. Around you i try but you won't let me. i am too much for you to handle and that's too bad.
Sometimes i wonder if i ever really loved you. I have never written anything for you. I have never thought of something beautiful to say when i look in your eyes... why not? What is it about you that dulls my creativity but still keeps me wanting more...it is lust i suppose. or possibly bordem. Never the less there are only two people in this world (besides my cat) that have truely l♥ved...and you are one of them.
These past few days have been emotional for me. i am moving away again..this time for the last time, but still an hour away from everything. away from everything one more time is still too much. But still apart of me is focused on the positive...more than would seem and i think that is what is scaring me the most. I am not upset about Brian.. i moved away from someone i loved once and i found a new love...i can do it again. An hour is nothing, i know, but I want to look at it as an opportunity to find something new and exciting. I want to go to a new school and meet new people. I feel bad because the reason makes me feel like i am two-faced. I tell my "friends" that i love them, and i do..but somehow i know they wont last...i am starving for something REAL. and i haven't found it yet. so am i a bitch for wanting to leave someone i share something so strong with. is it wrong? i don't think so..not anymore at least. i will admit that it won't be hard for me, and i am sorry for being so blunt. maybe i just know that you will never read this and so my thoughts aren't censored. and they shouldn't be. i have no regrets. i live for the moment..well at least i try. Around you i try but you won't let me. i am too much for you to handle and that's too bad.
Sometimes i wonder if i ever really loved you. I have never written anything for you. I have never thought of something beautiful to say when i look in your eyes... why not? What is it about you that dulls my creativity but still keeps me wanting more...it is lust i suppose. or possibly bordem. Never the less there are only two people in this world (besides my cat) that have truely l♥ved...and you are one of them.