The Feeling That I'm Losing Her Forever, And Without Really Entering Her World
Title: The Feeling That I'm Losing Her Forever, And Without Really Entering Her World
Fandom: Game of Thrones
Characters: Cersei. Mentions of the rest of her family.
Warnings: Spoilers through all aired episodes.
Rating: PG
Summary: Cersei tries to hold on to her memories of Myrcella.
As Cersei tried to stop herself from envisioning the breaking down into decay of Myrcella’s body, she tried to focus instead on the good memories of her daughter, to keep a picture in her mind of when she was well and happy, so she could remember Myrcella in a way she was never again able to remember her mother. Yet every time she tried to focus on a memory of Myrcella, she could focus on a tantalising glimpse before it slipped through her fingers, and Cersei realised how few real memories she truly had. She tried to think of what Myrcella’s likes and dislikes had been, and was unable to be certain of a single one. She had focused so hard on Joffrey, on getting him to the throne, that she had failed to notice Myrcella while she was right there under her nose, and now she was never going to get that chance to make things right.
And where was she now? Joffrey was gone, poisoned at his own wedding, and Cersei acknowledged now that he had not loved her as she had always believed, as she believed she loved him. Tommen sat on his throne now, the weak king who had not stood up for her when she had been forced into the walk of atonement. Although this behaviour had pleased her when he had allowed that woman Margaery Tyrell to remain imprisoned along with her brother, now that it was Cersei he was allowing to be treated this way, she now found herself despising him for it.
If Cersei had taken the prophecy seriously in the past, as she did now, would she have spent more time with Myrcella, built the relationship she had always insisted to others and herself that they already had? She liked to think that she would have done. And Jaime could talk of revenge all he liked, and once upon a time she might have said the same thing, but she knew that it would not bring Myrcella back.
Cersei would not picture Myrcella in the way that she had pictured her dead mother. Yet the images she held of her daughter faded before her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hold on.
Fandom: Game of Thrones
Characters: Cersei. Mentions of the rest of her family.
Warnings: Spoilers through all aired episodes.
Rating: PG
Summary: Cersei tries to hold on to her memories of Myrcella.
As Cersei tried to stop herself from envisioning the breaking down into decay of Myrcella’s body, she tried to focus instead on the good memories of her daughter, to keep a picture in her mind of when she was well and happy, so she could remember Myrcella in a way she was never again able to remember her mother. Yet every time she tried to focus on a memory of Myrcella, she could focus on a tantalising glimpse before it slipped through her fingers, and Cersei realised how few real memories she truly had. She tried to think of what Myrcella’s likes and dislikes had been, and was unable to be certain of a single one. She had focused so hard on Joffrey, on getting him to the throne, that she had failed to notice Myrcella while she was right there under her nose, and now she was never going to get that chance to make things right.
And where was she now? Joffrey was gone, poisoned at his own wedding, and Cersei acknowledged now that he had not loved her as she had always believed, as she believed she loved him. Tommen sat on his throne now, the weak king who had not stood up for her when she had been forced into the walk of atonement. Although this behaviour had pleased her when he had allowed that woman Margaery Tyrell to remain imprisoned along with her brother, now that it was Cersei he was allowing to be treated this way, she now found herself despising him for it.
If Cersei had taken the prophecy seriously in the past, as she did now, would she have spent more time with Myrcella, built the relationship she had always insisted to others and herself that they already had? She liked to think that she would have done. And Jaime could talk of revenge all he liked, and once upon a time she might have said the same thing, but she knew that it would not bring Myrcella back.
Cersei would not picture Myrcella in the way that she had pictured her dead mother. Yet the images she held of her daughter faded before her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to hold on.