Maybe One Day, But Not Yet
Title: Maybe One Day, But Not Yet
Fandom: iZombie
Characters: Peyton, Liv. Mentions of Ravi and Major.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for all aired episodes.
Summary: Peyton leaves town, unable to face Liv after finding out she is a zombie.
In different circumstances it might almost have made Peyton laugh, the fact that they’d been having that conversation about how much she and Liv knew about each other just that same day only for her then to find out that actually, Peyton knew nothing about Liv at all.
And she should have known, that was the ridiculous thing. Take that painting of Liv’s that they had on display in the apartment. Liv could barely draw a stick man when they were at college, and she’d never taken any interest in art as far as Peyton could remember. Now all of a sudden she was buying all this painting equipment and producing that so-called work of art out of nowhere? Peyton had even asked Liv once after that if she was thinking of painting anything else, only to be met with a blank look and some vague answer. She’d let it drop at the time, but now wondered whether she should have pursued it further. And that seizing the day behaviour right after Holly died in the parachuting incident? Again, Peyton had just attributed it to Liv grieving for their friend. But now she knew - had Liv actually eaten Holly’s brain? Holly was their friend, someone they studied with, went drinking with, and Liv had eaten her? Peyton couldn’t think about that, because somehow the fact that they had known Holly made it worse.
There had been so many things that Peyton had tried to explain away at the time, but which only now made sense. Post traumatic stress disorder had seemed to explain everything so well, Peyton had just gone with it. Liv had enjoyed her work at the hospital, it had been all she had ever wanted to do in the time Peyton had known her, and Peyton had never been able to understand why she had quit so close to the end of her internship to work at the morgue. Now, knowing that Liv was a zombie, she understood only too well.
Ravi. Working so closely with Liv at the morgue, it was obvious to Peyton that he had known for a while. In one way, that sounded stupid, since Peyton had lived with her for so long and had no idea. But at the same time, she knew that he had known. Was it that time when Liv had first set them up on a date when he had found out? Peyton remembered a time at the start of their relationship when he’d seemed really distracted and she’d never known why - was it about then that he’d found out Liv was a zombie? Or had he known longer than that? Did it even matter? The fact was that he had known and had kept it from her, and Peyton no longer felt she could trust him.
Who else had known? That guy she worked with at the police department? Not Major, that was for sure. Oh, damn, Major. When Liv had broken it off with him, it had been as big a shock to Peyton as it was to Major, because as far as she could tell they hadn’t been having problems. Major had even come to her, asked if she knew anything about why it had happened, and she’d had nothing to tell him. All those comments he’d made about zombies recently, which Peyton hadn’t taken seriously, could it be that he was starting to suspect about Liv? Or was he still completely in the dark? Part of Peyton wondered if she should be the one to tell him. Another part wanted to run away, far away, and never come back. Liv should be the one to tell him the truth, just as she should have told Peyton. And yet at the same time Peyton could also see that in Major’s fragile state, it would do him more harm than good to be told, and if she was around him right now, she couldn’t see how she could keep it from him.
Maybe one day she could go back, face Liv again, find out what had happened and why she hadn’t felt she could talk to her. But not yet. Not while every time she closed her eyes she could still see Liv going full on zombie on whoever the hell that guy had been. Because if it had happened once, it could happen again, and Peyton couldn’t put herself in danger in that way.
So she drove on, never looking back, determined to put as much distance between herself and Liv as possible. One day she would go home, back to her life.
But not yet.
Fandom: iZombie
Characters: Peyton, Liv. Mentions of Ravi and Major.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers for all aired episodes.
Summary: Peyton leaves town, unable to face Liv after finding out she is a zombie.
In different circumstances it might almost have made Peyton laugh, the fact that they’d been having that conversation about how much she and Liv knew about each other just that same day only for her then to find out that actually, Peyton knew nothing about Liv at all.
And she should have known, that was the ridiculous thing. Take that painting of Liv’s that they had on display in the apartment. Liv could barely draw a stick man when they were at college, and she’d never taken any interest in art as far as Peyton could remember. Now all of a sudden she was buying all this painting equipment and producing that so-called work of art out of nowhere? Peyton had even asked Liv once after that if she was thinking of painting anything else, only to be met with a blank look and some vague answer. She’d let it drop at the time, but now wondered whether she should have pursued it further. And that seizing the day behaviour right after Holly died in the parachuting incident? Again, Peyton had just attributed it to Liv grieving for their friend. But now she knew - had Liv actually eaten Holly’s brain? Holly was their friend, someone they studied with, went drinking with, and Liv had eaten her? Peyton couldn’t think about that, because somehow the fact that they had known Holly made it worse.
There had been so many things that Peyton had tried to explain away at the time, but which only now made sense. Post traumatic stress disorder had seemed to explain everything so well, Peyton had just gone with it. Liv had enjoyed her work at the hospital, it had been all she had ever wanted to do in the time Peyton had known her, and Peyton had never been able to understand why she had quit so close to the end of her internship to work at the morgue. Now, knowing that Liv was a zombie, she understood only too well.
Ravi. Working so closely with Liv at the morgue, it was obvious to Peyton that he had known for a while. In one way, that sounded stupid, since Peyton had lived with her for so long and had no idea. But at the same time, she knew that he had known. Was it that time when Liv had first set them up on a date when he had found out? Peyton remembered a time at the start of their relationship when he’d seemed really distracted and she’d never known why - was it about then that he’d found out Liv was a zombie? Or had he known longer than that? Did it even matter? The fact was that he had known and had kept it from her, and Peyton no longer felt she could trust him.
Who else had known? That guy she worked with at the police department? Not Major, that was for sure. Oh, damn, Major. When Liv had broken it off with him, it had been as big a shock to Peyton as it was to Major, because as far as she could tell they hadn’t been having problems. Major had even come to her, asked if she knew anything about why it had happened, and she’d had nothing to tell him. All those comments he’d made about zombies recently, which Peyton hadn’t taken seriously, could it be that he was starting to suspect about Liv? Or was he still completely in the dark? Part of Peyton wondered if she should be the one to tell him. Another part wanted to run away, far away, and never come back. Liv should be the one to tell him the truth, just as she should have told Peyton. And yet at the same time Peyton could also see that in Major’s fragile state, it would do him more harm than good to be told, and if she was around him right now, she couldn’t see how she could keep it from him.
Maybe one day she could go back, face Liv again, find out what had happened and why she hadn’t felt she could talk to her. But not yet. Not while every time she closed her eyes she could still see Liv going full on zombie on whoever the hell that guy had been. Because if it had happened once, it could happen again, and Peyton couldn’t put herself in danger in that way.
So she drove on, never looking back, determined to put as much distance between herself and Liv as possible. One day she would go home, back to her life.
But not yet.