Do You Remember The First Time?
Title: Do You Remember The First Time?
Characters: Claire, Ana Lucia, Eko, Shannon, Miles, Juliet, Charlotte. Mentions of Christian, Yemi, Sayid, Pierre Chang, Daniel.
Pairings: very slight Shannon/Sayid, Charlotte/Daniel.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: spoilers up through S5
Summary: For gottalovev, who requested first times. The above characters reflect on the first times key events happened in their lives, but Charlotte realises that what she thought was the first time she met Daniel wasn't after all.
The first time Claire had asked about her father was not long after she'd started school, and she'd asked Carole why she didn't have a daddy like all her new friends. Carole had told her that her daddy had died when she was two years old, and the looks on Carole and Lindsey's faces had told Claire not to push it.
She never asked again. Instead, she created in her mind the person she would have liked her father to be, told her friends about the man she'd imagined every time the subject came up. But the first time Claire met her father, he was nothing like she'd imagined. This wasn't a man who'd loved and taken care of Claire and her mother, but a man who just thought to clear up his mess, who'd chosen to stay away all these years when he could have kept in contact.
She chose not to speak of it again, to carry on as though her father had never been a part of her life. But the day when Claire read in the Sydney papers about Christian Shephard's death, and realised she would never have the chance to get to know him, was the first time she really thought of Christian as her father.
The first time Ana Lucia truly felt that she wanted her baby was the day she realised it would never be born.
Danny had been excited the day she had broken the news. And Teresa's reaction had been exactly what Ana had dreaded, and the reason she'd put off telling her for as long as she could.
Teresa had immediately tried to take over, organising the nursery and baby clothes, suggesting that the baby be named Isabella after some relative Ana couldn't even remember (and this at a stage when it was too early to know the sex anyway).
Ana had grown to resent Teresa's interference, for placing her on desk duties instead of allowing her into the field, and she began to resent the baby for tying her to a relationship she wasn't even sure she still wanted to be in.
But as she lay injured, as the blood poured out of her, as she waited for the ambulance to arrive, for the first time Ana prayed for her baby to be spared, realised she wanted the child after all.
The man meant nothing to him, the first time Eko took a life.
He would have done exactly the same if he had the time over again. From the moment they had watched their father walk away from them, never to return, Eko had vowed to do whatever it took to protect Yemi. That was why he shot the man, to prevent the guerillas from forcing Yemi to take the life himself.
Yemi was good, in a way Eko always knew he could never be. It would have tainted his life forever if Eko had not stepped in.
He'd killed since then, the Moroccan drug dealers, the warlord Emeka who sought to undermine all of Yemi's achievements for his village. Eko had felt no remorse, he had always done what he had to do. He could no longer protect Yemi; his brother was beyond his reach now. But by putting an end to Emeka's reign of terror, Eko could protect Yemi's work for his people.
The first time Eko ever felt remorse for taking a life was when he killed the Others on his first night on the island. The Malkin girl had spoken of Yemi that day, of how Yemi believed Eko was a good man, how he had faith in his brother. And Eko's one act could have destroyed Yemi's faith in him.
It had seemed so easy, the first time Shannon had conned Boone.
She'd known he'd fall for it. Boone always had believed everything anyone told him. Shannon remembered how it had all started. They had seen something about domestic violence on the television, and Boone had been talking about how those people should be shot (and this from a man who hated guns). The idea had grown from there.
It had gone just like she'd planned it. Boone had come up with the money, Shannon had taken half, and she'd never seen her boyfriend again.
She could live with that. She hadn't really loved him anyway. It was only after he'd gone that it hit home to Shannon that if she was to continue with this lifestyle, her relationships were always going to have a short shelf life until Boone paid up, then would come to an end without Shannon ever seeing her boyfriends again.
Still, she tried not to care. She had to live. And in the moments when she felt guilt about Boone, she kept telling herself that she was only getting what was hers by rights (conveniently forgetting that Boone had offered it to her in the first place.)
With Sayid, on the island, it had been the first time Shannon had ever been able to have a proper relationship, with none of the games she'd always played.
Until Ana Lucia pulled the trigger. As Shannon clung to Sayid, she reflected on how this may have been the first time she felt truly loved.
It wasn't what he'd expected, the first time Miles heard his father's voice.
For one thing, he'd thought he'd be communicating with the dead. But when Miles first encounters Pierre Chang, he's very much alive.
When the Naomi chick had first approached Miles, told him about the deceased people who might be able to help track down Linus, he'd suspected his father might be one of them. After all, it made sense, considering what Lara had said about Pierre's death "somewhere he could never go".
As it turned out, he never actually spoke to Pierre as a ghost. And the first time he saw his father alive, he hadn't known straight away who he was. He'd never seen a picture, so he didn't recognise the man who was processing them all, grumbling about being pulled out of his lab because Amy was still out sick following her husband's death.
It wasn't until his third day there, when Miles encountered the man again with a young Lara Straume Chang, that he knew who he was.
The first time they encountered each other in the full knowledge that they were father and son was likely to be the last. Miles didn't know what would happen if Faraday's plan to change the past actually worked. But he knew there was every chance he wouldn't see his father again.
And it was the first time Miles understood why Pierre had sent them away, that he had cared after all.
The first time Juliet had told a woman she was pregnant, it had been the best news she could possibly have given.
Juliet can't remember the woman's name now, but she can still picture the radiant smile on her face as the woman talked of how she would tell her husband. And she remembers how one day, she'd dreamed of breaking the news to Rachel.
The first time Juliet broke the news to a woman on the island, she'd forgotten herself for a minute, broken the news in the old congratulatory way. And as Grace's face had crumpled, Juliet realised what she had done. But both women had immediately plastered on brave faces, hoped that this would be the first time it worked at last.
The first time Juliet realised there was no hope was the day Sabine died. She'd tried everything she could think of, but there was nothing she could do, not here. And she had to admit Ben was right; if she did take someone off the island, she wouldn't come back, at least not to live. And he'd told her that if she stayed, Jacob could cure Rachel's cancer, while if she left, they'd be spending Rachel's last days together. Either way, Juliet had to say goodbye to Rachel.
The first time Juliet had given good news to a woman on the island was Sun. The crazy thing was, the news she had given was exactly the news most women dreaded. The baby was conceived on the island; Sun had about two months left. Yet she was happy with the news, because it meant the baby was Jin's.
For the first time, Juliet felt she had a real friend on the island, that hope was possible. But as she watched the smoke from the freighter, she realised there was no hope after all.
The first time Charlotte met Daniel, she hadn't taken much notice at first. It wasn't about getting to know anyone else on board, not for her. It was about finding the place where she had been born, proving to herself that the island had existed after all. The man called Matthew Abaddon had filled in some of the blanks, but Charlotte needed to see it for herself.
Charlotte hadn't been on board long when some man had come up to her and made some remark about the view. She didn't normally like small talk, but there had been something about this man that had made her focus on him properly, realise that there was something familiar about him, as though she'd met him before.
"You seem very familiar," she'd said. "Have we met?" Could he have been one of her people, someone else on their way to find out what had happened to DHARMA?
"I, uh, I don't think so." Daniel had stammered awkwardly.
"He wouldn't remember even if you had," a sarcastic voice had snorted from behind Charlotte.
"It's true," Daniel had admitted. "I've, uh, had some problems with my memory. But Mr. uh, Widmore, he says that where we're going, it can heal me."
Charlotte had held out her hand. "So it is the first time we've met then. I'm Charlotte, Charlotte Lewis."
"I'm Daniel Faraday," Daniel had replied, shaking her hand.
Daniel, Charlotte had repeated to herself. There it was again, that sense of familiarity - no, it was gone. Maybe I'll remember later why I recognise him, she thought.
Regina had laughed when Charlotte mentioned this as they lay in their bunks, rolled her eyes and made some comment about fate. "I don't believe in all that, Regina," Charlotte had scoffed. But secretly she wasn't so sure Regina was wrong.
It wasn't until the time shifts began that Charlotte realised why Daniel seemed so familiar to her.
She couldn't keep hold of any memories, like what her mother's maiden name was. But she remembered exactly where and when she had met Daniel Faraday before.
I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner.
It's okay, sweetie. I won't tell.
She remembered the man who had scared her in her childhood, the man she'd called "the bad man". But she realised now that he wasn't a bad man, that he had been trying to protect her. The first time she'd met Daniel hadn't been the first time after all.
Characters: Claire, Ana Lucia, Eko, Shannon, Miles, Juliet, Charlotte. Mentions of Christian, Yemi, Sayid, Pierre Chang, Daniel.
Pairings: very slight Shannon/Sayid, Charlotte/Daniel.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: spoilers up through S5
Summary: For gottalovev, who requested first times. The above characters reflect on the first times key events happened in their lives, but Charlotte realises that what she thought was the first time she met Daniel wasn't after all.
The first time Claire had asked about her father was not long after she'd started school, and she'd asked Carole why she didn't have a daddy like all her new friends. Carole had told her that her daddy had died when she was two years old, and the looks on Carole and Lindsey's faces had told Claire not to push it.
She never asked again. Instead, she created in her mind the person she would have liked her father to be, told her friends about the man she'd imagined every time the subject came up. But the first time Claire met her father, he was nothing like she'd imagined. This wasn't a man who'd loved and taken care of Claire and her mother, but a man who just thought to clear up his mess, who'd chosen to stay away all these years when he could have kept in contact.
She chose not to speak of it again, to carry on as though her father had never been a part of her life. But the day when Claire read in the Sydney papers about Christian Shephard's death, and realised she would never have the chance to get to know him, was the first time she really thought of Christian as her father.
The first time Ana Lucia truly felt that she wanted her baby was the day she realised it would never be born.
Danny had been excited the day she had broken the news. And Teresa's reaction had been exactly what Ana had dreaded, and the reason she'd put off telling her for as long as she could.
Teresa had immediately tried to take over, organising the nursery and baby clothes, suggesting that the baby be named Isabella after some relative Ana couldn't even remember (and this at a stage when it was too early to know the sex anyway).
Ana had grown to resent Teresa's interference, for placing her on desk duties instead of allowing her into the field, and she began to resent the baby for tying her to a relationship she wasn't even sure she still wanted to be in.
But as she lay injured, as the blood poured out of her, as she waited for the ambulance to arrive, for the first time Ana prayed for her baby to be spared, realised she wanted the child after all.
The man meant nothing to him, the first time Eko took a life.
He would have done exactly the same if he had the time over again. From the moment they had watched their father walk away from them, never to return, Eko had vowed to do whatever it took to protect Yemi. That was why he shot the man, to prevent the guerillas from forcing Yemi to take the life himself.
Yemi was good, in a way Eko always knew he could never be. It would have tainted his life forever if Eko had not stepped in.
He'd killed since then, the Moroccan drug dealers, the warlord Emeka who sought to undermine all of Yemi's achievements for his village. Eko had felt no remorse, he had always done what he had to do. He could no longer protect Yemi; his brother was beyond his reach now. But by putting an end to Emeka's reign of terror, Eko could protect Yemi's work for his people.
The first time Eko ever felt remorse for taking a life was when he killed the Others on his first night on the island. The Malkin girl had spoken of Yemi that day, of how Yemi believed Eko was a good man, how he had faith in his brother. And Eko's one act could have destroyed Yemi's faith in him.
It had seemed so easy, the first time Shannon had conned Boone.
She'd known he'd fall for it. Boone always had believed everything anyone told him. Shannon remembered how it had all started. They had seen something about domestic violence on the television, and Boone had been talking about how those people should be shot (and this from a man who hated guns). The idea had grown from there.
It had gone just like she'd planned it. Boone had come up with the money, Shannon had taken half, and she'd never seen her boyfriend again.
She could live with that. She hadn't really loved him anyway. It was only after he'd gone that it hit home to Shannon that if she was to continue with this lifestyle, her relationships were always going to have a short shelf life until Boone paid up, then would come to an end without Shannon ever seeing her boyfriends again.
Still, she tried not to care. She had to live. And in the moments when she felt guilt about Boone, she kept telling herself that she was only getting what was hers by rights (conveniently forgetting that Boone had offered it to her in the first place.)
With Sayid, on the island, it had been the first time Shannon had ever been able to have a proper relationship, with none of the games she'd always played.
Until Ana Lucia pulled the trigger. As Shannon clung to Sayid, she reflected on how this may have been the first time she felt truly loved.
It wasn't what he'd expected, the first time Miles heard his father's voice.
For one thing, he'd thought he'd be communicating with the dead. But when Miles first encounters Pierre Chang, he's very much alive.
When the Naomi chick had first approached Miles, told him about the deceased people who might be able to help track down Linus, he'd suspected his father might be one of them. After all, it made sense, considering what Lara had said about Pierre's death "somewhere he could never go".
As it turned out, he never actually spoke to Pierre as a ghost. And the first time he saw his father alive, he hadn't known straight away who he was. He'd never seen a picture, so he didn't recognise the man who was processing them all, grumbling about being pulled out of his lab because Amy was still out sick following her husband's death.
It wasn't until his third day there, when Miles encountered the man again with a young Lara Straume Chang, that he knew who he was.
The first time they encountered each other in the full knowledge that they were father and son was likely to be the last. Miles didn't know what would happen if Faraday's plan to change the past actually worked. But he knew there was every chance he wouldn't see his father again.
And it was the first time Miles understood why Pierre had sent them away, that he had cared after all.
The first time Juliet had told a woman she was pregnant, it had been the best news she could possibly have given.
Juliet can't remember the woman's name now, but she can still picture the radiant smile on her face as the woman talked of how she would tell her husband. And she remembers how one day, she'd dreamed of breaking the news to Rachel.
The first time Juliet broke the news to a woman on the island, she'd forgotten herself for a minute, broken the news in the old congratulatory way. And as Grace's face had crumpled, Juliet realised what she had done. But both women had immediately plastered on brave faces, hoped that this would be the first time it worked at last.
The first time Juliet realised there was no hope was the day Sabine died. She'd tried everything she could think of, but there was nothing she could do, not here. And she had to admit Ben was right; if she did take someone off the island, she wouldn't come back, at least not to live. And he'd told her that if she stayed, Jacob could cure Rachel's cancer, while if she left, they'd be spending Rachel's last days together. Either way, Juliet had to say goodbye to Rachel.
The first time Juliet had given good news to a woman on the island was Sun. The crazy thing was, the news she had given was exactly the news most women dreaded. The baby was conceived on the island; Sun had about two months left. Yet she was happy with the news, because it meant the baby was Jin's.
For the first time, Juliet felt she had a real friend on the island, that hope was possible. But as she watched the smoke from the freighter, she realised there was no hope after all.
The first time Charlotte met Daniel, she hadn't taken much notice at first. It wasn't about getting to know anyone else on board, not for her. It was about finding the place where she had been born, proving to herself that the island had existed after all. The man called Matthew Abaddon had filled in some of the blanks, but Charlotte needed to see it for herself.
Charlotte hadn't been on board long when some man had come up to her and made some remark about the view. She didn't normally like small talk, but there had been something about this man that had made her focus on him properly, realise that there was something familiar about him, as though she'd met him before.
"You seem very familiar," she'd said. "Have we met?" Could he have been one of her people, someone else on their way to find out what had happened to DHARMA?
"I, uh, I don't think so." Daniel had stammered awkwardly.
"He wouldn't remember even if you had," a sarcastic voice had snorted from behind Charlotte.
"It's true," Daniel had admitted. "I've, uh, had some problems with my memory. But Mr. uh, Widmore, he says that where we're going, it can heal me."
Charlotte had held out her hand. "So it is the first time we've met then. I'm Charlotte, Charlotte Lewis."
"I'm Daniel Faraday," Daniel had replied, shaking her hand.
Daniel, Charlotte had repeated to herself. There it was again, that sense of familiarity - no, it was gone. Maybe I'll remember later why I recognise him, she thought.
Regina had laughed when Charlotte mentioned this as they lay in their bunks, rolled her eyes and made some comment about fate. "I don't believe in all that, Regina," Charlotte had scoffed. But secretly she wasn't so sure Regina was wrong.
It wasn't until the time shifts began that Charlotte realised why Daniel seemed so familiar to her.
She couldn't keep hold of any memories, like what her mother's maiden name was. But she remembered exactly where and when she had met Daniel Faraday before.
I'm not allowed to have chocolate before dinner.
It's okay, sweetie. I won't tell.
She remembered the man who had scared her in her childhood, the man she'd called "the bad man". But she realised now that he wasn't a bad man, that he had been trying to protect her. The first time she'd met Daniel hadn't been the first time after all.