M is for Memorial
Title: M is for Memorial
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Characters: Alison DiLaurentis.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up through S4 to be safe.
Summary: Alison sneaks into her own memorial service.
As soon as Alison saw Wilden, she wondered why she had come. It had seemed like a good idea when she first thought of it, to go to her own memorial, hear what everyone had to say about her. She’d even joked about it with her friends before now when she’d talked about what it would be like to die young. “It’s immortality, my darlings.” Everyone had just laughed it off at the time, Alison included. But now she wasn’t sure if she had made a big mistake.
So her parents hadn’t shown their faces. Alison didn’t know how she was supposed to feel about that. She’d asked herself every day why Jessica had buried her alive, had covered up for whoever it was that had hit her, and in the whole year she had never come up with an explanation that satisfied her. But she couldn’t hate Jessica, because when all was said and done, Jessica was still her mother. Jason, however, was there, and Alison scrutinised his face for any signs that he had been the one who had hit her. Was it him? She didn’t want to believe it, but Jessica had obviously had some reason for trying to cover it up, and Alison didn’t know who else it would have been. And she’d had a lot of time over the last year to reflect on the way she’d treated him in the past.
Alison didn’t know whether she should be surprised or not that some people weren’t there. Given everything that had happened with Pigskin and Hermy, she could understand them staying away (although she’d equally have understood it if they’d turned up just to make sure she was dead). Ian was probably just relieved that she wasn’t going to send him to jail with the revelations of what she’d seen on his tapes. And as for Mona, who knew full well that Alison wasn’t really dead and had manipulated her into going along with it, well, if Alison had seen her she may well have revealed herself just for the purpose of slapping her. But she was disappointed not to see CeCe, and Ezra. He’d shown up at the actual funeral for whoever the hell that was, after all.
(Who was that? Alison didn’t know who the girl was, or how she had ended up buried where Jessica had buried Alison. But she knew one thing: whoever was responsible for putting her there could still come back for Alison.)
When Jenna Marshall had stepped up to speak, Alison’s first reaction was one of shock. What was Jenna the Jerk even doing there? They’d never been friends, and everyone knew it. Who had let her get up to speak? In fact, what was she even doing there anyway? Did she finally feel that she was safe in Rosewood?
“We think we know who we are, but we don't. Not until something bad happens to us, and then all the useless things fall away, and we're left with who we really are. I learned that from Alison DiLaurentis.”
Strange, Alison thought. She knew what Jenna meant, in a way that most people present (with the exception of Aria, Hanna, Spencer and Emily, if they thought about it) wouldn’t. Even now, with Alison supposedly dead, Jenna still didn’t seem to dare tell the truth about how she was really blinded. Only Alison knew that Jenna was really saying that Alison had caused something bad to happen to her, and that was how she had learned this.
The crazy thing was, this lesson that Jenna was supposed to have learned from Alison? Alison hadn’t even really learned it herself until after the day Mona convinced her to play dead for a while. She’d realised then that her idea of being Number 1 within her family and seeing if exposing the truth about who Jason’s father really was would lead her to become the favourite was stupid. When it had come down to it, her mother had chosen to protect the person who had hit her, and Alison had had a lot of time to think about who that might have been. If, instead of trying to push Jason out of their family, she had instead tried to have a normal sibling relationship with him like Aria and Mike, would any of this ever have happened?
And as for their friends - Alison didn’t know why she had been so worried about them. Getting rid of Pigskin, letting Aria think she was helping her towards getting Noel while all along she was making sure Noel never looked at her twice, persuading Hanna that Aria would end the friendship if she got together with Mike - why had she even bothered? Even if any of them did have boyfriends while Alison didn’t, they were never going to just abandon her, she understood that now that she was no longer able to be friends with them.
The Alison all these people had gathered there that day to remember was not the same Alison who stood there hidden amongst the crowd. She was gone, and that Alison really was dead. She just wished she knew who the real, new Alison was.
Fandom: Pretty Little Liars
Characters: Alison DiLaurentis.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up through S4 to be safe.
Summary: Alison sneaks into her own memorial service.
As soon as Alison saw Wilden, she wondered why she had come. It had seemed like a good idea when she first thought of it, to go to her own memorial, hear what everyone had to say about her. She’d even joked about it with her friends before now when she’d talked about what it would be like to die young. “It’s immortality, my darlings.” Everyone had just laughed it off at the time, Alison included. But now she wasn’t sure if she had made a big mistake.
So her parents hadn’t shown their faces. Alison didn’t know how she was supposed to feel about that. She’d asked herself every day why Jessica had buried her alive, had covered up for whoever it was that had hit her, and in the whole year she had never come up with an explanation that satisfied her. But she couldn’t hate Jessica, because when all was said and done, Jessica was still her mother. Jason, however, was there, and Alison scrutinised his face for any signs that he had been the one who had hit her. Was it him? She didn’t want to believe it, but Jessica had obviously had some reason for trying to cover it up, and Alison didn’t know who else it would have been. And she’d had a lot of time over the last year to reflect on the way she’d treated him in the past.
Alison didn’t know whether she should be surprised or not that some people weren’t there. Given everything that had happened with Pigskin and Hermy, she could understand them staying away (although she’d equally have understood it if they’d turned up just to make sure she was dead). Ian was probably just relieved that she wasn’t going to send him to jail with the revelations of what she’d seen on his tapes. And as for Mona, who knew full well that Alison wasn’t really dead and had manipulated her into going along with it, well, if Alison had seen her she may well have revealed herself just for the purpose of slapping her. But she was disappointed not to see CeCe, and Ezra. He’d shown up at the actual funeral for whoever the hell that was, after all.
(Who was that? Alison didn’t know who the girl was, or how she had ended up buried where Jessica had buried Alison. But she knew one thing: whoever was responsible for putting her there could still come back for Alison.)
When Jenna Marshall had stepped up to speak, Alison’s first reaction was one of shock. What was Jenna the Jerk even doing there? They’d never been friends, and everyone knew it. Who had let her get up to speak? In fact, what was she even doing there anyway? Did she finally feel that she was safe in Rosewood?
“We think we know who we are, but we don't. Not until something bad happens to us, and then all the useless things fall away, and we're left with who we really are. I learned that from Alison DiLaurentis.”
Strange, Alison thought. She knew what Jenna meant, in a way that most people present (with the exception of Aria, Hanna, Spencer and Emily, if they thought about it) wouldn’t. Even now, with Alison supposedly dead, Jenna still didn’t seem to dare tell the truth about how she was really blinded. Only Alison knew that Jenna was really saying that Alison had caused something bad to happen to her, and that was how she had learned this.
The crazy thing was, this lesson that Jenna was supposed to have learned from Alison? Alison hadn’t even really learned it herself until after the day Mona convinced her to play dead for a while. She’d realised then that her idea of being Number 1 within her family and seeing if exposing the truth about who Jason’s father really was would lead her to become the favourite was stupid. When it had come down to it, her mother had chosen to protect the person who had hit her, and Alison had had a lot of time to think about who that might have been. If, instead of trying to push Jason out of their family, she had instead tried to have a normal sibling relationship with him like Aria and Mike, would any of this ever have happened?
And as for their friends - Alison didn’t know why she had been so worried about them. Getting rid of Pigskin, letting Aria think she was helping her towards getting Noel while all along she was making sure Noel never looked at her twice, persuading Hanna that Aria would end the friendship if she got together with Mike - why had she even bothered? Even if any of them did have boyfriends while Alison didn’t, they were never going to just abandon her, she understood that now that she was no longer able to be friends with them.
The Alison all these people had gathered there that day to remember was not the same Alison who stood there hidden amongst the crowd. She was gone, and that Alison really was dead. She just wished she knew who the real, new Alison was.