I Don't Know How To Love Him

Aug 12, 2012 19:22

Title: I Don't Know How To Love Him
Characters: Princess Abigail/Kathryn Nolan, Frederick/Jim, Red/Ruby, Evil Queen/Regina Mills. Mentions of Charming/David and Snow White/Mary Margaret.
Pairing: Kathryn/Jim (Abigail/Frederick)
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers all through the series, but mainly What Happened To Frederick.
Summary: Written for the "Pick a Princess" challenge at the_apple_ouat. Kathryn knows she should make her marriage to David work. So why is she suddenly feeling so drawn to the gym teacher at Storybrooke Elementary?



Kathryn had never told David that he wasn’t the only one who’d ever looked at anyone else.

It had been a few weeks after they’d had that fight and David had disappeared, left Storybrooke as Kathryn had believed. She’d been in Granny’s, for a coffee and a cranberry muffin, but as she’d reached out for the last one another hand had reached for it at the exact same time.

“Oh, uh, no, it’s okay. You have it.” Kathryn had withdrawn her hand so quickly it was as though it had been burned. She didn’t even know why she’d gone for a cranberry muffin. They were David’s favourites, not hers.

“No, really, that’s okay. The blueberry ones are my favourites anyway.” The man smiled as he helped himself to one. “I’d recommend them.”

“You know what? Mine too.” Kathryn grinned. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Kathryn.”

“Jim.” Her new friend reached for her hand and shook it. “I just started work at Storybrooke Elementary school. I’m the new gym teacher.”

“Wait. Your name is Jim, and you teach gym?” Lame, Kathryn, she thought as soon as the words were out of her mouth, but Jim didn’t seem to mind.

“Yeah, I get that a lot from my students. My parents were hoping for a doctor in the family when they named me, I don’t think they expected me to end up teaching gym.”

Kathryn laughed. “Guess you never know what the future holds.”

“Hey, you gonna pay for those muffins or what? “ Ruby was glaring at them as she held out her hand for the money.

“Here you are. Look, I gotta run,” Jim said as he paid her. “But maybe I’ll see you in here again?”

Kathryn smiled. “Maybe you will.”

“You know, I was thinking of heading by here tomorrow night, if you felt like joining me?” Jim asked. Kathryn tried to ignore Ruby giving her the thumbs up as she nodded and smiled.

“Hello, Kathryn.”

Kathryn silently cursed under her breath as she glanced up at the sound of her name, only to realise that it was Jim who had spoken.

“So I haven’t been seeing you at Granny’s Diner since that first night that we went out,” Jim continued. “I was beginning to wonder if it was something I’d done.”

“I should have been honest with you, and I’m sorry,” Kathryn admitted. “The truth is that I’m married. Well, technically I am. We hit a rocky patch, and I ended up telling David, that’s my husband, that if he didn’t want to be married to me any more then he might as well get out. He took me at my word and he left that night. I haven’t heard from him since. As far as I know, he’s left Storybrooke.”

“Then I don’t see what your problem is,” Jim replied. “You told him to go, he left you. I don’t understand why that made you stand me up. We had a good night, Kathryn. We had fun, we had lots in common. And from what you’ve just said about your marriage, I’m not so sure that’s true of you and your husband.”

“I’m really sorry,” Kathryn swallowed hard. “But I feel kind of like I’m betraying him.”

“Do you honestly think he’s thinking of you right now?” Jim demanded. “You said yourself he’s left town. He could be with anyone, any number of anyones, and you’re staying loyal to him? Maybe you should have thought of that before you agreed to meet me for that meal.”

“I know, and I’m sorry,” Kathryn began, but Jim had already turned to walk away.

“Forget it, Kathryn. I don’t want to know.”

“So, I hear congratulations are in order.”

Kathryn glanced up as she stepped out of the door of the convenience store to see Jim standing in front of her, holding a copy of the Storybrooke Daily Mirror with David’s photograph on the front page.

“Local resident Kathryn Nolan never gave up hope,” Jim read from the paper in a sneering voice. “She was always determined that one day she’d find him again, and that they’d eventually find their happy ending.”

“That’s not quite what I said,” Kathryn hastened to explain. “You know what Sidney’s like when it comes to a good story. He’s misquoted me to make it sound better.”

Jim shrugged. “Whatever. Means nothing to me. So, Mary Margaret tells me that you’re having a surprise party for him tonight. You’ll forgive me if I don’t come along.” He turned to walk away, but on an impulse Kathryn reached out and grabbed him by the arm.

“Jim...I’m sorry for the way things turned out.” Kathryn began. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I was married, that I led you on...”

“Is this man bothering you, Kathryn?” Regina Mills approached them.

“Don’t worry, I’m going.” Jim turned away and stalked angrily off, before turning back again to toss one last remark over his shoulder. “Enjoy your party.”

Regina reached out and put her hand on Kathryn’s arm. “You will tell me if you have any more problems with him, won’t you?”

Kathryn nodded. “Of course I will.” Regina had been there in Granny’s Diner the night they had gone for their date, staring at her in such a way that Kathryn had been sure that she knew what was in her mind, whether she had dared to seek happiness with someone who wasn’t David. Kathryn had thought it was crazy, the thoughts she imagined were going through Regina’s mind as she watched them. Regina barely knew her at the time, after all, why would she care? Later, once they did know each other a bit better and Kathryn had confided in her, Regina had reassured her that she had done the right thing and that if there was a chance that she could make her marriage work, she should take it. And that was what she was doing right now.

So why was there a part of her now feeling like she was actually doing the wrong thing? She’d treated Jim badly, she couldn’t deny that. But the guilt she felt seemed like more than that.

Dear David, Kathryn wrote.

I’m sorry for all the things I said to you before. I realise now that you’re right, and that we’re not meant to be together. In fact, I wasn’t totally honest with you, because there was someone else for me, too, someone who I seriously thought I could be with.

I told him I was married, and that if I ever had the chance to make things work with you, that I was going to take it. He took it badly, and didn’t want to know me after that. In trying not to betray you, I only succeeded in betraying both him and myself.

I’ve lost my chance to be happy with him now. But maybe, if I go to Boston, I’ll have the chance to find someone else who’ll make me happy. And I’ll be letting you go to be with the woman who’ll make you much happier than I ever could - Mary Margaret.

Good luck to both of you.

Kathryn.

She’d thought initially that David was the one who had betrayed her, just for a moment before she stopped to consider her own actions. But now she understood that he was innocent of that. It was Regina who had betrayed them all, Regina who had taken everything they held dear, their friends and families, their memories, their very identities.

She knew this now as she looked upon Jim, or Frederick as she now knew him to be.

“I shouldn’t have let you walk away,” he began. “I feel like I should have known, somehow.”

“And I should have known that I wasn’t betraying David by wanting to be with you,” Kathryn - no, Abigail - replied. “I should have seen it too.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Frederick reassured her. “You couldn’t have known. None of us did. But we have the chance now to be together. And that’s why we’ve won in the end, not her.”

ouat: princess abigail/kathryn nolan, ouat: evil queen/regina mills, ouat: red riding hood/ruby, ouat: frederick/jim

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